The Difference A Decision Can Make
by MagicalMercenary
Summary: Aule decides to send some unconventional help to Thorin and company. My take on a GiME, after being encouraged by PhantomBuggo.
1. Prologue

Prologue

In a clearing, deep in a national park, a woman had just finished setting up camp ready for the oncoming night. She was fairly short for an adult, only 5'2", and generously curvy, while not seeming fat. A cry of triumph emerged as she found her iPhone in her backpack.

"Ha! Bag zero, Bec 1! Now, for some music while I get the fire started..."

Bec trailed off into muttering as her attention focused on her device, and she noticed the battery reading was below 50%. She pulled out her solar charger to get the portable batteries full before the sun started setting. Then she started going through the songs on her phone, before giving up and going to her playlists. Selecting the one labelled 'Awesomeness', she connected the speakers and pressed play. A burst of drums and fast paced guitar signalled that Green Day's 'St Jimmy' was the first song on shuffle. Bec started shaking her hips and dancing a bit while organising her wood pile, and making sure it was far enough away from her little circle of stones.

After building a little teepee of twigs outside the paper and bark, she reached for her flint fire starter, and proceeded to get little sparks everywhere except the kindling.

"Oh, you little sunuvabitch! Just go where I want you to!" The spark nearly landed on her tent.

"Why is this so hard?" This one at least went in the right direction, but fell far short.

"I'm starting to regret not bringing matches..." Her phone was nearly scorched, and in response started to play 'I See Fire', although an acapella version. Bec dropped everything to start singing along, albeit nowhere near as well as the artist.

While belting out the song, Bec was reminded of the final Hobbit movie. Even knowing how foolish it was, she still held out hope that the Durins would be saved at the last minute by a fangirl (or guy) writer or producer. Since that didn't happen, she was content to ignore it, and dream up ways the battle could have gone differently, and the futures they could have had. Sometimes, when she got really sad about it, she would imagine what she would do, if Middle Earth was real. Admittedly, she didn't have any fighting skills, but she had her dirt bike, basic karate training, survival knowledge, a modern first aid kit, and some herbal and nursing skills. Surely that would have made some difference? Anyway, she liked to pretend she could have saved them. The song finished, and high on her successful song, she tried to start the fire again.

"Yes! Take that mum! I can to use this stupid thing. And she said trying to learn things off YouTube would never workout."

The sun had finally set, so she packed up everything into her backpack and saddlebags and put them in her tent, next to her iPad and laptop. She knew it was probably overkill bringing both of them for a three day trip, especially with no internet reception, but they were like her security blanket. With her hard drive, she had all of her favourite shows, movies and music, and her solar charger meant that the batteries would never run out either.

As the fire started crackling, Bec turned to the esky by her side, and grabbed the steak she'd bought at Coles. Her sister hated meat from anywhere but her preferred butcher, but Bec was nowhere near as picky in her eating habits. She did know her food though, and had a potato wrapped in foil to go in the coals, and pre-made damper mix to attempt in a tiny lightweight camp oven. Not big enough to do meat or anything like her family used to do, but she also didn't have a caravan or giant 4WD put everything in.

As she crawled into her tent, ready for bed, Bec smiled. It was so peaceful out here, and although chilly, the lack of snakes and clear view of the stars more than made up for it. Settling into her sleeping bag, Bec pulled up 'An Unexpected Journey' to fall asleep to. Just as Bilbo was opening the door to Dwalin, she drifted off.

While she slept, two voices conversed in a glade in another plane.

"Are you sure, my love? There are many other ways to fix this problem. This does not guarantee the ending you want." A small woman with furry feet danced into view, flowers, grass and trees popping up wherever her feet landed.

"I am as sure as I can be. My children must still have free will, and not only is she the right height and build to fit in, but she has the heart and soul of a dwarf as well. She may not be as prepared as I would like, but we can help a little before dropping her in there, and warn my sons she is coming. I think I'll give her a grand entrance anyway...worthy of a champion of the Valar!" A well-built man smirked as he finished speaking, mischief dancing in his eyes.

He clicked his fingers, and Bec, and all of her belongings appeared in front of them, Bec twitching and rolling over as she arrived. As she showed no sign of waking, the man got more and more agitated, until he bent down and started poking her insistently.

"Wake up, Rebecca. Wake up NOW!" As the last word wasn't spoken as much as it was roared, Bec shot up in surprise and shock, and head butted the man. While he jumped around in pain she examined her new surroundings, holding her head. A warm hand lifted her chin and she stared into kind brown eyes.

"I am Yavanna, and that idiot is my husband Aule, or Mahal if you listen to him, but I don't. We need your help."


	2. Hashing Out a Dealand a Spectacular E

Chapter 1 - Hashing Out a Deal...and a Spectacular Entrance!

She couldn't believe her eyes! Was she still dreaming? If she was, they had gotten a lot better, and she might try for a naughtier dream tomorrow night. The man she had head butted (accidentally) had finally stopped stomping around and she assumed swearing in a foreign language. Bec looked at the woman crouching next to her. She was pretty, a little shorter than Bec herself at about 4'5", maybe, Bec wasn't the best at estimating heights and distances even with contacts in. She had curly blonde hair that was pulled back in intricate braids to keep out of her face. She was plump and curvy, and looked kind. As she turned her head, Bec spotted finely engraved and decorated beads and hair clasps, and that was when the lady's words registered in her head.

"Oh right, just my luck, I fall asleep watching 'The Hobbit' and start vivid dreaming about the dwarves creator and the hobbits assumed creator. I couldn't have the dream with Fili, or the one where Thorin and Bilbo get their heads out of their arses?!"

When Yavanna started giggling, Bec couldn't hold back any longer and glomped her.

"Omigod! You are adorable, just look at your feet! I don't care if this is a dream, it's still really cool. No wonder you turned his head, you're just the right height, and nice and soft and...I should just stop now before he kills me shouldn't I? I remember reading somewhere if you die in a dream, you die in real life, and I don't wanna test that out." This last part was said directly to a brightly blushing Yavanna, who very slowly sidled away once Bec had released her, and hid behind Mahal.

All you could see now of the Goddess was a pair of wide brown eyes and blonde braids, behind a scowling Dwarf God. Bec started backing away, babbling apologies so fast that neither of the baffled gods could understand the stream of sound. Once again, Mahal lost patience first.

"ENOUGH!"

Bec squeaked and jumped before dashing to her tent and hiding behind it.

"This is not a dream Rebecca, daughter of Donna. We are real, and we require your help. To be more specific we need your help saving the Line of Durin, and potentially averting the mess with the One Ring before Sauron wakes. Will you listen to us, at least, before dismissing this as a dream? If you don't agree, you can go back to your home, and not remember any of this, however, you will never be as happy in Australia as you can be here in Middle Earth."

Bec observed the man dwarrow God before her. He was taller than Yavanna at around 4'11", so still a little shorter than Bec, and very stocky. He had thick black hair with red undertones that was half pulled back in braids at the top, while the rest was free and rather bushy. His beard was long, almost to his waist, with a few braids scattered throughout, and the middle of it was caught in a gold clasp to keep it from flying around when he moved. His eyes were blue, although they were slowly getting darker and darker the longer she kept quiet. He looked stern, and very muscular, forbidding, with the armour, thick jacket and huge boots completing the look.

"Rightio. What's in it for me then? I'm not going gallivanting off with fourteen sweaty, ax-happy males on the off-chance that I'd be happier there, where I don't really know anything about the world, races, culture or anything, or any people, whereas here, I have spent my entire life, 25 years to be exact, interacting and learning about the world, plus I have my family and friends. You'd know this, so there is something you haven't told me, or are keeping back to sweeten the pot."

Mahal smirked as he replied. "Friends that you haven't spoken to in nearly a year? Not very good friends. Your grandmother dead, your sister thinking about moving to Queensland, and your parents wanting to travel the country, instead having to worry about the daughter that got divorced and dropped out of university, because she can't decide what she wants to be when she grows up? I think you'd be doing everyone a favour in your world, and you would get the adventure you always dreamed of as a little girl as well."

Bec huffed. "I may not have been the most social of people since my ex-rat...I mean husband kicked me out, but I was slowly getting my life back on track thank you! It took me nearly two years to get over his conditioning, as you should very well know, your Godliness. Furthermore, I realise exactly what I'm costing my parents, and was on that camping trip to try and figure out how I could get a job and find my own place within the next year. I was even contemplating getting a cleaning job, for the Lady's sake! So, I ask again, what is your offer?"

As Bec had been talking, Mahal's face grew darker and his brows drew together in a monstrous frown. As she finished, he held his glare while she cocked a hip and stared him down.

"Are you going to talk, or just try and glare me into submission? 'Cause I've gotta say, my sister's cat learnt a better glare from my dad."

At that, Mahal and Yavanna burst into laughter, leaving the poor human very confused.

"Ah, my dear, you definitely have a hobbit's sass! To tell the truth, I wasn't 100% sure that you would be the right fit, but if you won't let me walk over you, you,l have no problem with my sons. My deal is two part, one for me, and one for you. If you agree to help my sons in their quest, I will leave your knowledge of what happens, however you will not be able to say anything about it until the event is over. You can choose your actions, in whatever way you feel best in order to change these events. The exception would be when it came to the final battle. I will grant you the army's dead from Azanulbizar as help in this battle, with Thror, Thrain and Frerin in particular to help you defeat Azog and Bolg, and keep the Durins alive. Sound fair? In return, I will give you a choice at the end of the battle - you can return to this moment, and wake up, remembering this as a dream, or you can stay, and I will grant you the lifespan of a dwarf to live out the rest of your life on Arda."

Before Bec could answer, Yavanna stepped forward.

"As for my part, I will be giving you the knowledge that you need of Arda, and the common tongue is English, so you will have no trouble there. I cannot grant you useable knowledge of Sindarin, Khuzdul or Hobbitish, but if you overhear enough conversations in that language, or someone genuinely starts to teach you, you will understand very quickly. You will be made a little shorter, to fit in, 4'7" I think, tall, but not giant. Myself and Mahal will also grant you three boons each, which you can use now, or keep for along the journey. To show the dwarrow that your tale is true, you will keep all of your belongings. Now, what would your boons be?"

While Yavanna had been talking, Bec had been getting steadily paler, until she had to sit down, and put her head between her knees and breath harshly. The two Valar sat down beside her, and aside from Yavanna patting her back to try and calm her down they waited patiently. Finally Bec sat up, and started rummaging in her bag, emerging triumphant with an electric cigarette 'pack', and got one out. At the looks from Mahal and Yavanna, she gave them the pack to examine.

"It's an electric cigarette, although non-nicotine. Unlike in Arda, on Earth, the things we smoke are generally harmful for our bodies in the long run. I've always been fascinated by smoking, especially since the movies, with the pipes, but there was no way I was willing to pollute my body and risk cancer to try it. So I got this a couple of months ago to try it out. This is the vanilla flavoured one, and it's pretty good. Helps me calm down, because I always do it now when I'm relaxing. I like the placebo effect I'm getting now. So, now I'm a little calmer, let me recap what you've told me, so I can make sure I understand everything. For some unknown reason, you've both gone a little bonkers, and decided I'm the best hope for keeping the Line of Durin alive and well. Firstly, what have you been smoking? Secondly, where can I get some?"

Mahal took over, as Yavanna was still fascinated by the cigarette pack.

"My children are untrusting of nearly everyone except dwarves, as you may have noticed from those movies of yours. How long did it take for them to accept Bilbo? You have no ties to anyone except them, you have basic survival knowledge and fighting skills, and are reasonably fit, so you shouldn't slow them down any, and you have modern medicines and knowledge. Most of all, while you are as stubborn and guarded as a hobbit, especially after what happened with your husband, you have a resilience and a returning joy in life that my children have lost and sorely need again. Yes, we could have picked others, and probably will, if you decide against this adventure, but you are my first choice. Ever since you read 'The Hobbit' as a child, you have dreamed about having this kind of adventure, and your imagination many strength are also qualities that suit my children. One thing that I regret when I created them was that because I did it without the blessing of Eru, they have had trouble conceiving, and even when they do bear children only three in every ten are dams. I'm hoping that you will stay with my children and help them to correct this problem, as some human blood can only he,p, with how your race has nearly completely overpopulated your own planet. Of course, this is only my hope, I will not push or influence you in any way, least of all because Yavanna would have my beard, but mostly due to the fact that if my children have the opportunity to find their One, you should also have this decision as your own, perhaps even moreso deserved than my children, as they at least, do not mistreat their kin and lovers. At any rate, if you agree, I will also make you a little more durable, more than a dwarf, although not invincible."

Bec took a deep breath. "Ok mate, so if I do this, you'll give me the opportunity to stay or leave at the end, and make me a little more durable, presumably so I don't die before I've helped your sons. Your wife will make me shorter to fit in, and give me a basic understanding of the world and languages, with more to be 'unlocked' for lack of a better word, with enough exposure. I get three boons each, to be granted either now or later, with no time limit, and I get to keep my stuff as proof of my story. Is that about right? I also won't be able to warn them about any events ahead of time, but can do whatever I want to try and change them, and I also get a dead army returned to life to help in the final battle. Yes?"

Mahal and Yavanna looked at each, and nodded.

"Bloody hell! Right, the dead army, will they just be returned from the moment of their death with no explanation? 'Cause that would be confusing. Can I use one of my boons for this?"

The dwarf lord looked stunned. "Child, you have a greater heart than I had thought. You do not need to use one of your boons. The dead are preparing in my halls, and will be watching the journey as you go, so they will know everything they need to, you need not worry."

"Kay then. I'm going insane, because I'm gonna say yes. I have four, no five boons to use now, if you please. First, I would like my dirt bike to not need any fuel, and be quieter, as it's not very stealthy, as well as be able to shrink when I want it to, like in Harry Potter, so I can put it in my pocket to carry if I need to. Second I would like a never ending supply of fruits, veggies and breads, as well as the medicines I have in my bags. Third, I would like a pocket dimension or extension charm, again from Harry Potter on my bags, as well as have them spelled to return to me after 12 hours, and be impervious to deliberate or weather related damage. I would also like it if only myself or the company could access them. Fourth, I would like it if you could arrange something for my cat if I decide to stay in Arda, as it wouldn't be fair to Shadow, or to Mum and Dad to look after her after I disappear. If possible, I'd like her with me, she's my baby. Fifth, I would like all of the dead dwarves that survive the Battle of the Five Armies to be granted a second chance at life, excepting if they were going to die of natural causes rather than their battle wounds. Is all of that acceptable?"

This time, both Mahal and Yavanna looked like someone had slapped them with a fish.

"You've thought this out beforehand haven't you, daughter of Donna? I will take your fifth request to Mandos, but neither Mahal or I had thought of that. If Mandos agrees, this will be a gift from us to those dwarves, to thank them for their service, and their freely given choice to fight again. I can grant your requests for your all of your supplies, including your toiletries, pens and books. Also your "baby" can go with you if you choose to stay, again with a lengthened life, and intelligence. She can be the first of the Mearas of the cats."

Mahal stepped forward, and grabbed Bec in a fierce embrace. She squeaked and looked uncomfortable, before poking him, saying, "I'm not that durable yet, and I still need air..."

She gasped as he let her go.

"I will take care of your bike, it will never need maintenance again. I will also fix your bags. In addition, as thanks for your compassion, your electronic items can never be damaged or broken, even by over zealous and curious dwarrow. Now to take care of your appearance."

He clicked his fingers, and she was looking up at him. He patted her on the head and grinned.

"That's better, I enjoy being the tallest again! As for your clothing, I have changed your night clothes that you were wearing into leathers and fur, with boots, traditional dwarf wear. Instead of armour, you have mithril plates sewn into your leather vest, and mithril mail sewn inside your trousers. I have kept the clothes you have in your packs, you still have your jeans and knitted items, as well as your -ahem- unmentionables," -here he looked very uncomfortable - "and in return for the rest of your modern fabrics, I have given you wool, knitting needles and crochet hooks, as well as your drop spindle and some wool to spin and dye."

Bec was spinning around, trying to look at what the God had done to her hair.

"Oh yes, I also have you braids labelling you a dwarf-friend, scribe, and favoured of Mahal and Yavanna. Do you like it?"

The big man looked a little uncomfortable, it was obvious that he didn't have a lot of daughters, more telling than the fact that he most often referred to his sons instead of his children. Bec grinned, a huge and happy smile, and threw herself into his arms.

"I love it. This is the best adventuring present ever. If only my family could see me now!"

Bec was preoccupied with looking at her new attire, and missed Yavanna touching her head, until she bent over with a groan.

"Holy fuck! My head...Ooh, I see. Sneaky Yavanna, wait until I'm distracted. Now, let's talk about my entrance!"

The whole company woke with a gasp, sitting up straight, and looking at each other.

"Did we all have the same dream?" A pale Ori asked.

"If you dreamt of our creator and his wife saying that they were sending help from another world, then yes." A giddy Kili answered, clearly overjoyed at the thought of divine help.

"I hope he's a great warrior, we don't need another grocer to look after," Thorin grumbled, clearly still put out with Bilbo's presence.

A hurt-looking Bilbo looked down, while Nori piped up with, "Who cares if he's a great warrior, I want to know when he's going to arrive!"

Meanwhile, an amused Gandalf was chuckling and looking at very dark clouds on the horizon.

Fili groaned as he was thrown on the ground, and looked up at the sky, praying to Mahal for help. Suddenly he noticed a bright star in the sky getting bigger and bigger. It wasn't a star, it was a comet. As it got bigger and closer, he tried to subtly get Thorin to look up. When that didn't work...

"BY MAHAL, WHAT IS THAT IN THE SKY!"

He certainly got everyone's attention, and the trolls started arguing about what it was, and whether they could eat it. As it got even closer, everyone grew quiet, and could hear some kind of noise.

"WOOHOO! This is better than the Tower of Terror!"

With a thump, _something_ landed next to the fire. As the dust started to settle, a rumbling noise came rhythmically from the cloud.

"Catch me if you can, smelly trolls! Lotsa meat on these bones boys!"

With that, whatever it was took off, faster than Fili had ever seen, with the trolls lumbering after, yelling about how they weren't smelly.

With the trolls suitably distracted, Bilbo wriggled out of his sack, untied the others, and got Nori, Dwalin and the rest off the spit. As they were getting their weapons, Gandalf appeared, looking confused.

"What happened to the trolls?"

"I think Mahal's warrior took care of them," an impressed looking Thorin explained.

As they heard the rumbling again, they turned as a group to face the noise, weapons drawn, in case it was a trick. A metal beast came into view, moving very fast, and then stopping abruptly in front of them. The rider was dressed like a dwarf but had a very strange shiny helmet that covered his whole head. As the rider reached up to remove it, the dwarrow gasped. A cascade of shiny brown hair fell out, and the rider looked up. The only sound heard was crickets, until...

"But you're a girl!" A very confused Kili cried.


	3. Dragging the 21st Century into ME

Just an FYI, I don't own the Hobbit. I do own my OC, and her dirty mouth. Also, lots of swearing...

Chapter 2 – Dragging the 21st Century into Middle Earth (kicking and screaming)

For a good minute or so, every person in the clearing turned and just _looked_ at Kili. Even the trolls seemed to be giving him dumbfounded stares, although it could be argued that a dumbfounded stare was a troll's default expression.

The awkward air was broken by an extremely girly squeal, that Bec would later deny making.

"Oh my stars, Kili, you are the most adorable thing ever! I subscribed to all the cute cat channels on YouTube, and swear to Joss, you are even more adorable than the kittens running into each other because their eyes were still closed!"

Bec noticed that the dumbfounded looks had been transferred to her, and coughed uncomfortably. The company all examined this supposed warrior sent from Mahal. She was short, smaller than Kili, but a little taller than Fili, with long brown braided hair, that turned red and gold in the sun. The braids showed that she was a dwarf-friend, scribe, and favoured by Mahal and his Lady. She was wearing a short tunic and a leather duster, very similar to Kili's but with fur. She was also wearing _pants_ , very tight, shiny black pants, and dwarf boots. She was sitting on a shiny metal mount with two wheels, that was coloured a bright emerald green in some parts.

A very scowly Thorin stepped forward flanked by Dwalin, and opened his mouth to make a no doubt _terrifying_ speech, but before he could, Bec had jumped off the bike, tripped over her new boots, and proceeded to climb Dwalin like he was a tree, until she could see the tattoos on top of his head.

"Oooh, they're so much nicer looking than in the movie! How much did it hurt, getting them on your head? Why did you shave the Mohawk off? I thought that looked even more awesome, if that's possible. Did you cry when you got them? My first one hurt a little, but then the lovely little receptionist gave me a lollipop, and I was fine, although my little sister laughed at me sooo much. She nearly filmed it too, but I threatened to sit on her, and then she stopped….looking back I should probably be offended by that, huh? Anyways, do they mean anything special? All of mine have meanings but – WOAH!"

Dwalin had been getting more confused the longer Bec babbled, and Thorin's frown had been getting darker and darker, until Dwalin reached up and grabbed Bec around the back of her jacket and lifted her off him, until she was dangling in front of him like a kitten. Fili and Kili were on the ground in tears from laughing, and the rest of the company seemed in shock, except for Gandalf and Nori. The thief was looking speculatively at Bec's bike, specifically all of her bags, and Gandalf just looked amused by the whole situation.

"Hi!" Bec chirped, waving at Dwalin.

"If I put you down, will you leave me alone?" He looked a little twitchy, like he wasn't used to random girls attaching themselves to his head.

"Hmmm." Bec made a show of thinking, and glanced behind him. "I'll leave you alone for a while, but I can't guarantee I won't come back, or that the others are included in this deal, _but_ I won't be so touchy-feely without your permission. Does that work?"

"Fair enough." Dwalin dropped her, smirking a little when she landed with a huff, and started pouting.

During this conversation, Thorin had been getting more and more put out, until he couldn't contain himself anymore.

" _You're_ Mahal's champion? You look more like a-"

"I swear, by Merlin's saggy underpants, if you say grocer, Thorin Oakenshield, I will smack you, and then cry." A very put out Bec interrupted him.

"Little girl! You look like a little girl."

"I am a full grown woman, thank you Mr Grump-pants! I am 25 years old, and well able to look after myself. _I_ don't run off on hare-brained quests to kill a dragon with no idea how to actually _kill_ a dragon!"

The rest of the company (including Bilbo) gasped, shocked, and burst into sound.

"You're only 25? You're a baby!" _Dori_

"Couldn't Mahal find anything better?" _Dwalin_

"My sweet Gimli is a better champion than she looks to be!" _Guess who_

"What did she say about a wagon?" _Oin_

"We're not the youngest! Yes!" _Fili and Kili_

Thorin made a sharp gesture, and the company silenced. Bec was now glaring at everyone in the clearing, and tapping her foot. The older dwarves were taken aback at her resemblance to the Lady Dis, and Fili and Kili hid behind a startled Ori, knowing what was coming. Thorin, annoyed at the lack of explanation, decided to try and use his limited diplomacy skills…he motioned for Balin to come forward, and take over.

Balin smiled gently at Bec, like one would at a skittish animal, while Fili, Kili and Thorin looked at him as if he was the bravest warrior they had ever seen. He sat down while motioning for the rest to do the same.

"Now that my king has well and truly stuffed his leg down his throat, what is your name, child?"

Bec was still glaring, silently letting Balin know she wouldn't be taken in by his games. Still, she sat, gracefully crossing her legs, and uncrossed her arms before answering.

"Here, I suppose I would be Rebecca, daughter of Martin son of, um, Ronald, I think? My dad's dad died when he was still a baby, he had ball cancer I think. Plus, I'm still my mum's daughter, so with her, I'd be Rebecca daughter of Donna, daughter of Donald and Janice. At home, I'm Rebecca Laurece Saxby….but my friends and family call me Bec. You guys choose, it's your weird arse system of naming…no offense to it, but modern English…um, I mean Common, is difficult enough to understand as it is."

Balin looked a little overwhelmed by the amount of information, before he recovered, and resumed smiling.

"Well, we'll go with Mistress Saxby for now then. Not to be rude, but _are_ you the champion that Mahal and his Lady promised us?"

"Yuppers! I went to sleep in my tent, and then woke up to him poking me, and then I head butted him, then I glomped Yavanna, she's really cool, btws. Then he started yelling, then I sassed him a bit, then he laughed..." Bec trailed off, as most of the dwarrow looked stunned, she guessed at the fact that she sassed their creator.

"What is glomped?"

"And bee-tee-dubs?"

Fili and Kili had their heads cocked to the side, while Ori looked very confused. Bec looked relieved that she hadn't broken all of the company, although Bilbo was starting to look less gobsmacked and more furious at her disrespect.

"Oh, when I say I glomped Yavanna, I mean I kind of gave her a flying tackle hug. For such a little lady, she really held my weight well, she's super nice, although she got me back with the mother of all painful fucking headaches. Btws is a shorthand way of saying by the way, which evolved from text speak, where a lot is needed to be said in a small amount of space, so you just use the first letters from a phrase, so by the way becomes btw."

Fili and Kili looked excited at a new 'language', while Ori looked intrigued at the idea of shorthand. Perhaps with talking ravens, they hadn't developed a system of shorthand yet?

Balin seemed to have recovered, as he started to speak again.

"I don't mean to offend Mistress, but why did our Creator choose you? Are you a great warrior?"

Bec grinned and started laughing.

"Me, a great warrior? Hah! No, I mean, I took karate until I got my green belt, but then Mum and Dad made me quit while I took my HSC, and I never really got back into it. My ex-husband never seemed to approve of it, and it's taken me a while to…well, you guys don't really need to know about that yet. No, the big dude picked someone from my world because this guy Tolkien, straight up most awesome author ever, wrote a bunch of books, like 'The Silmarillion', 'The Lord of the Rings', and 'The Hobbit', which just recently got made into movies…I have to say they did the casting really well, cause all of the actors they picked look almost exactly the same as you guys. I don't need to learn names, yay! Um, anyways, Mahal locked my knowledge of the future away, so I know what's going to happen, and I can try to change it, but I can't talk about it until it has happened to you guys. You can ask me anything about what's happened since Bilbo met Gandalf to prove it….Oooh, wait, I can do one better, I can show you!"

With that, Bec stood up, and ran over to the bike, grabbed her backpack off of it, and came back to Balin. She stuck her arm in, Gandalf's eyebrows raising as her arm went in past her shoulder, and then she stuck her head in. She burrowed more and more into the bag, until her feet started to leave the ground.

"HELP! Can someone grab my feet please?"

Dori, as the strongest in the company, came and lifted her out by her ankle, and Bec emerged clutching a shiny black rectangle.

"How exactly will a piece of odd looking black glass show us that you're telling the truth?" Thorin scoffed, looking very disbelieving.

Bec grinned at him, and appeared to break the object, to gasps from the company, when she pressed an indent on the strangely shaped interior, and the other half lit up, blue with a picture of a kitten in a strange white outfit with a black belt. Bec pressed more of the odd indentations, and suddenly the picture changed to a sunset over a strange looking series of buildings, with many small pictures over it. She moved her hand on an indent, and a strange white triangle moved with it on the picture. All of the dwarrow pulled back in shock, with Dori muttering about dark spells.

Bec smiled again. "No spells, Dori, this is technology, my world's answer to magic. I'm going to show you the first movie made from 'The Hobbit'…well part of it anyway, I'm guessing Mahal or Yavanna did something so you can't watch the whole thing, or me not being able to talk about future events is silly. I'm just going to hook up my hard-drive," – she held up another shiny rectangle, with a cord hanging from it, - "and then you guys can watch what should have happened, since you look like the actors, rather than the book description."

Bec had been doing this as she talked, and the screen had changed as well. Now it went black, causing the dwarrow to gasp again, before it lit up with a picture of clouds, and a golden shield getting closer and closer. She hit another indent, and the image froze.

"Right, you lot are going to need to gather around, this is a small screen, and you all need to see it. I've got speakers so sound shouldn't be a problem, but if you want to squeeze in, then you should all be able to see."

As the company got closer, Bec jumped and started swearing.

"Fucking fuckity fuck. Goddamn it Nori, those are not actual pockets, these pants are skin-tight, you are pawing at my arse!"

Nori smirked unrepentantly. "And a fine arse it is too. And refreshing to hear a little thing like you swear more than Dwalin!" He winked and sat down. The rest of the company seemed shocked by her outburst and sat down as well, even Thorin, although he somehow managed to make it seem even more majestic. Once everyone was settled, Bec pressed the same indent, and the picture unfroze.

The screen switched to black, and a lion appeared, making the company jump, before lines of bronze text appeared and disappeared, eventually forming 'The Hobbit' before fading to black while an unfamiliar voice started speaking to someone named Frodo. An older hobbit appeared on screen, moving about a house, and Bilbo gasped when a sketch of himself was shown on the screen.

"That's me? Is that what I look like as an old man?"

"Shh, Bilbo, at least let this get to the present day. I have a feeling there will be a lot more questions soon."

The old Bilbo started writing, and a map appeared, moving from the Shire to Dale, and swooping in, changing from a map to people. It was the older dwarves turn to gasp, recognising the city in all it's glory. When the screen changed to show Erebor, the dwarrow all had tears in their eyes, the older ones at seeing their beloved home whole again, and the younger at finally seeing what they had lost. Bec winced, knowing what was about to happen. She made a quick decision, and paused the movie. The dwarrow, and Bilbo made outraged noises, but quieted when they saw her face.

"I just want to prepare you, this next part will show when Smaug came. It's not graphic, but I didn't want you to be unprepared, or get upset. If any of you are not sure that you can handle it, tell me now, because we can skip that part."

None of the dwarrow said anything, looking very determined to see this through. Dwalin was the one that spoke up.

"That worm may have stolen our home lassie, but we're going to kill it, and this cannot be worse than our memories."

"Alright, well, all the same, just poke me or walk away if it becomes too much, ok. Please?"

Everyone murmured in assent, and the movie began again. As the screen moved to a shot of Thror and Thrain, Thorin reached out and ran a gentle finger down the screen. "I had almost forgotten what they looked like."

The dwarrow all had silent tears running down their faces, however Gandalf looked troubled when he saw the smoky tendrils the Arkenstone was emitting on the screen. Thorin hissed like a scalded cat when Thranduil appeared, and became very sad, as the movie showed Thror's descent into madness.

Just after Dale blew its horns, Balin and Oin stumbled off, clearly unable to watch anymore.

When Thranduil appeared again, Bec muttered, "Fucking dickhead", and was surprised by all of the dwarrow agreeing with her.

The movie continued, showing the dwarrow marching, homeless, and Thorin working as a blacksmith, and then it returned to the Shire, and old Bilbo, writing his book. As a young hobbit stepped out of the dining room, Bilbo gasped.

"I have a son!" Bec was quiet for a bit, before replying with, "Not exactly. Just keep watching."

Bilbo was visibly confused by the youngling calling him Uncle, but Bec promised to explain as well as she could later. As the screen went to show the words, 'An Unexpected Journey', Bec made the picture freeze once again, to groans from Fili and Kili.

"I'm sorry guys, but is this enough proof? Because we really should be getting the ponies and going to the troll cave."

The older dwarrow gathered in a huddle, muttering in a guttural language that Bec assumed was Khuzdul, until Balin swung around to face her.

"That was Erebor and Dale as they were, so we shall allow this as proof for now, but once we've settled for the night, we would like to see the rest."

"Fair enough, mate. Although, I will say, the movie will be different to what happens from when I appear, simply because I'm not in the movie, kay?"

As the company nodded in assent, they corralled and mounted their ponies, with Fili, Kili, Nori and Ori helping Bec pack up the laptop, and store everything back on her bike. She smirked, looking at the four before saying, "Is anyone of you brave enough to ride with me on my bike?"

With the way she phrased it, Fili, Kili and Nori started arguing about who was the bravest, while shoving each other, while she got on. She was surprised, while watching them, when she saw the others start to ride off, and the bike dipped. She looked behind her to see Ori, bright red, but determined looking. Bec grinned, a bright happy thing, and started the bike, revving it to get the other three's attention.

"Looks like Ori's not only the bravest, but the smartest. See you at the troll cave boys!"

Bec's laughter and Ori's yelp drifted back with a dust cloud that left the three coughing and spluttering.

"That's not fair!"

"He cheated!"

"Guess I taught him well then."

Nori, happy with his final word, mounted his pony and trotted off, closely followed by two princes.

When they got to the cave, Bec, Ori and Bilbo were sitting outside, and Bec was fiddling with a smaller plastic rectangle while they talked about music.

"Well, there's lots of different music in my world, like country, pop, rap, hip hop and rock, but I can't sing for peanuts, so I'll see what I've got on my phone."

Kili, after eavesdropping, piped up with, "How about rock? We are dwarrow after all, I think we would like that one the best."

Bec looked very doubtful. "Rock is absolutely nothing like the music you're used to here Kili. I don't think your uncle and the older dwarrow would appreciate it very much."

Bec also didn't notice Thorin and the others having come out of the cave, so jumped and squeaked when Thorin spoke up from behind her.

Bec smirked, and muttered, "Okey dokey, but I warned you, dude," while poking her phone. A very familiar guitar riff blasted from the tiny device, much louder than the company had expected as they were all leaned in towards her hand. Bofur and the Princes seemed to like the beat when the drums joined in, as they started stomping their feet. The older dwarves looked shocked as they started to understand the words of the song, while Bec didn't notice, happily singing along and "playing" guitar. When the song was finished, she noticed they were all staring, but refused to be embarrassed.

"What, you don't have songs about sex here?"

While Dori spluttered, Bofur grinned and replied, "We do, but we don't sing them in front of dams. We certainly don't talk about it as openly in mixed company when the mixed company contains maidens."

Bec nodded. "Well, Earth is different. Maiden means virgin doesn't it?"

Looking very uncomfortable, the dwarves nodded.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that either, I haven't been a virgin since I was 18."

With this matter of fact statement, and the reminder of her age, the dwarrow were enraged.

"Did someone do something to you, lassie?" A particularly angry Dwalin asked gently.

"Um, no. My ex-husband was my first real boyfriend, and after we'd been dating for three months, I finally gave in….in hindsight, I'd rather still be a virgin than knowing that dickhead was my only experience at sex…."

The dwarrow looked more shocked, and very confused.

"What do you mean ex-husband, Mistress Saxby?" Dori was the spokesperson this time.

Bec sighed, and prayed to Yavanna for patience.

"Ex-husband means that we were married, legally and in the eyes of his God (although not mine), and stayed that way for nine months, and then he came home, screaming at me, saying he'd been still seeing his ex-girlfriend…um, previous lover, the entire 5 ½ years that we'd been together, and he didn't want to be married to me anymore, that I was fat and stupid, and a terrible housekeeper, living off his money and giving nothing back. Soo, he kicked me out of the house, I had to take my cat Shadow, and all of my belongings and move back home. He had a string of lovers over the next two years, while trying to convince me he was sorry, and wanted me back, I'm guessing because his parents and grandparents were heavily religious, and believed that you should only get married once. I refused, since he hadn't changed at all, and divorced him…um, had our marriage dissolved. The final straw was four months after he kicked me out, my grandmother died, and not only did he not come to her funeral, he didn't call or send flowers or anything. Did that help?"

The dwarrow and hobbit were shocked that such scoundrels existed in Bec's world, and felt sorry for the small woman. They were doubly shocked when Dwalin offered to go to Bec's world and show him what a real male was. Bec giggled, and hugged him. She then surprised everyone by picking up her bike, watching it gradually get smaller and smaller, until it fit on her palm, and she put it in her backpack.

"What did you do that for, Mistress Saxby?" Thorin was a little more gentle now that he had proof that she was the champion from Mahal, although still waiting for her to prove herself in battle.

"Well Master Thorin, if you haven't noticed, your ponies have been startled away, and there is someone coming. I was getting ready so I could run with the rest of you."

"You should keep your "bike" out, Mistress, I would not have you be left behind by the company."

Bec huffed, and got her bike back out, keeping the saddlebags and backpack small in her pocket.

"Fine, but you or Dwalin will be riding with me, to bring some hell if needed, kay?"

Thorin, hearing crashing in the trees, agreed quickly, and brought his sword to bear, along with the rest of the company.

"THIEVES! FIRE! MURDER!"

Radagast burst through the treeline, and had a conversation with Gandalf, before stiffening as howls were heard.

"Was that a wolf? Are there wolves out there?" Bilbo was very nervous.

"Wolves? No that is not a wolf." Bofur stepped in front of the burglar.

"Fuckin' oath, it's not a wolf." Was Bec's addition to the conversation.

She stepped behind Gandalf to stay out of the way, her bike still in her hand. While Thorin and Bilbo were talking she sidled up to Dwalin.

"Can you swing your axes one handed behind me, or would Thorin be a better choice?"

"Aye, lassie, I can use my axes with one hand. I'm guessing you want me to be the rear guard, so to speak."

"Well, yes, but just give me a second, Mahal gave me a button to make the engine as loud or silent as I want depending on if I want to be stealthy or intimidating."

Having found the button, Bec put on her helmet, and got on the bike. Dwalin looked at it dubiously.

"Are you sure it will hold me, lass?"

"Mate, this has held heavier blokes than you. Plus Mahal reinforced it, along with everything else I had with me. Jump on, they've already started running."

Bec and Dwalin made an excellent team on the bike, keeping the wargs away from the group once they were discovered. At the point Dwalin jumped off, in order to defend his king, and Bec made the engine as loud as it could be, picking up Kili, and weaving in and out of the circling wargs and orcs, who sprouted arrows like daisies after they had passed by. Bec's attention was caught by Thorin's waving arms, and she accelerated towards him, faster than the wargs, while explaining to Kili that they would stop quickly, and he would jump into the cave, while Bec shrunk her bike and followed him. Bec was nearly squashed, except for Fili pulling her into him, out of the way. She squeaked and blushed, while he smirked, looking down at her with a wicked glint in his eye.

"Thankyou Fili, but such a close hold is not necessary." With that Bec followed the others, very aware that Fili, and now Kili and Nori were watching her walk away. She cursed her past self for asking Mahal for skin-tight leather pants from her world for her entrance outfit.

As she grumbled, she wasn't quite paying attention to where she was going, and ran into the dwarrow in front, when he stopped suddenly. She looked up to comment, and gasped.

"Ohmigoddess! The movies definitely didn't do Rivendell justice."


	4. Is it possible for Elves to die of shock

A/N

Hey guys, so lots of swearing...

Also thanks to everyone who has read this fic, and big thanks to everyone who followed, favourited and reviewed.

Chapter 3 – Is it possible for Elves to die of shock? Or, Elves are in no way prepared for a modern Aussie gal….

Bilbo and Bec were so preoccupied that they didn't notice the dwarrow muttering about how Erebor was nicer, and that their burglar and champion shouldn't be appreciating anything the tree shaggers made. This was made difficult by how ethereal Rivendell looked, appearing as Bec had always imagined the afterlife to look. She hoped that wherever her grandparents had ended up was as pretty as this. After meeting Yavanna and Mahal, Bec was sure that Earth must have some form of higher power, although she was still sticking to her own ideals, rather than the Christian God. However, she was starting to think that they might all exist, in one way or another…

After Bec nearly fell off trying to see over the edge of the thin footbridge, Dori had a hand around her arm, to keep her safe until they had finished crossing. The dwarrow wanted their champion to at least stay alive until she had finished showing them the movie, if not the rest of her marvellous devices. Dori, however, could do with never hearing "rock music" again, very uncouth sounding noise. He didn't understand how a lady came to listen to such things, let alone sing them herself!

Unfortunately for Dori, he was one of the only dwarrow with such sensibilities, as Thorin, Balin, Dwalin, Fili and Kili all thought of the Lady Dis, and how she would react to being told what she could and could not do. The Ur family, as well as Nori, Oin and Gloin all thought that Bec was refreshing, and deserved to have some fun. Ori, meanwhile, realised that Bec came from a completely different place and time, and so assumed that her behaviour was typical of women on Earth, and was mainly itching to talk to her, so he could chronicle all of her experiences and knowledge on her home. Bilbo was still a little angry at Bec's explanation of her husband, as that behaviour was unheard of in the Shire, and judging from Dwalin's reaction, to the Dwarrow as well. He was also curious to learn about his nephew, and perhaps some of the other types of music Bec had mentioned. Gandalf, on the other hand, was more worried about the elves' reaction, and scheming about how to get the woman to let him examine some of her 'technology'. She must be a great sorceress in her world, to make such things.

As they reached the courtyard, an elf started to descend the steps, greeting Gandalf in Sindarin. Bec, having finally been released by Dori, scurried closer, to try and kick-start her understanding of Sindarin, so she wouldn't be left out of conversations. She hated not knowing when someone was talking about her. Sadly, the horns sounded behind her, and she got dragged into the middle of the circle of dwarrow.

What had seemed kind of funny in the movie, with the elves circling the dwarrow, after galloping straight towards them, was terrifying in real life, especially with her new height. Like most women in her family, when Bec got scared, she started to yell, and with the yelling came a lot of swearing. Once Gandalf realised what was happening, he slowly performed an action that Bec distantly noted as a face palm, something that she didn't think happened in real life, but she was a little busy at that point taking the elves to task.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! You're s'posed to be these all-knowing awesome, fucking _nice_ people, and hear you are trying to terrify a much smaller group of people, both in number and height, simply because you can?! Let me guess, you saw dwarrow, and thought it would be funny, right? Ha, fucking, ha guys. Really mature behaviour for the first born to come up with! I mean, seriously, even the skanks I knew back home, at least have the courtesy to bitch about you behind your back, they knew they'd get fucked up if they said anything to your face! Fucking fuckity fuck! You took like ten years off my life with that scare, the horse's heads are higher than I am, and they look really fucking huge!"

There was a shocked silence, when Bec finally stopped to catch her breath. Before she could start again, the dwarrow started laughing uproariously, with some of them having to hold each other up, from laughing so hard.

"I definitely believe Mahal sent her now, cousin! I've never seen a non-dwarrow be so blunt to elves before." Dwalin managed to get this out in between gasping guffaws.

In contrast, the elves were frozen in shock, either at being called out on their behaviour, or the sheer amount of swearing that the tiny woman had worked into her yelling. There was probably also some shock at her being a woman as well. Gandalf, and Bilbo just looked resigned, which was good, as this was probably going to happen a fair bit.

Elrond seemed to recover the quickest, and dismounted, bowing to the company.

"My apologies, Mistress and company, it was intended as good fun, but I can see how it could be taken in a different way."

He then proceeded to greet Gandalf, taking a bit longer in the movies. As he was glancing between Gandalf and Bec for most of the conversation, she assumed it was about her, and who she was. Fili and Kili both came up behind her, having finally stopped laughing, and proceeded to hug her as hard as they could.

"Let the human breathe, guys. Mahal made me more durable, he didn't give me the ability to not have to breathe!"

Once everyone had calmed down, they were invited in, and shown to a lovely room, to leave their belongings in. Then, two elves came and escorted the company to the baths. When the dwarrow kicked up a fuss at being separated from Bec, she came back with, "Unless some of you are willing to part with your boys, for the sake of a bath, don't even try it. Even my ex-husband only had permission if he was late for work. Since he was a bit of a bludger, he was usually running late, but most of the time, he didn't have time to wash either, so it worked out. Point is, unless some of you dwarrow are volunteering to become permanent dams, stay on your side, clear?"

With this, a blushing Bec stepped through one door, and slammed it shut. A clunking let the gathered males know that the door had also been barred. There was silence, and then they heard excited squealing.

"By the Lady, this is the best looking bath I have ever seen! I think I'm in love! Oooh, come to Mama, I deserve this so much…"

As the talking trailed off into happy moans, the males all blushed, and hurried into their bathing chamber, making enough noise and bluster to cover the noise of the satisfied human woman.

"Nori, do all females act like that when they take baths?" A very uncomfortable Ori asked.

"Well, I'm not sure, but if she likes these, she'll love the hotspring baths in Erebor." Nori looked contemplative.

Bilbo chimed in. "I don't know about dams, but my mother always said that the best thing about coming home from an adventure was the bath that my father built for her, because there was nothing better after being on the road for any length of time, than getting warm, worry free water and privacy to wash in, and take as long as you liked."

The rest of the company seemed pleased by this explanation, as they remembered that it looked like Bec had been travelling when Mahal found her.

Meanwhile, Bec had gotten out the one semi-fancy outfit she had packed, as she had been intending to stop at a friend's house in Sydney for a catch-up dinner on the way home. It was a lovely deep purple dress, made of jersey material, so lovely soft and stretchy. It was strapless, with ruching on the top, which fell to just below her knees. She added a silver knitted cotton jacket, which also hid 5 of her tattoos. She also grabbed her intended shoes, a pair she loved, and had never managed to find another pair of, platform stiletto gladiator sandals, that laced all the way up her calf. She would need the height around the elves. After brushing her hair, she pinned most of it up in a messy updo, except for the braids, baring her neck. She took out her rings, bracelets and necklaces, as she had taken them off before Mahal dropped her into Middle Earth, so they didn't run the risk of being lost. She had a Claddagh ring her grandmother had given her on her right ring finger, an amber ring on her left pointer, a tiny little yin yang ring on her left thumb, a pinky ring on her right hand, which contained tiger-eye from a necklace her grandfather had bought her that had broken, and finally the one gold ring, a copy of one of her mother's, with two small diamond hearts, and her parents names engraved on the inside on her left pinky. She had four necklaces of varying lengths. The longest hung just below her breast, and had an ankh, and her great grandmothers engagement ring on it. The next came to between her breasts, and had her grandmother's opal locket. The third rested just above her cleavage, and had a heart shaped pendant of rainbow moonstone. The last was a little bit looser than a choker and had a small engraved pendant that her parents had given her after her husband kicked her out, which read, 'Live the life you have imagined.'

Finally, the bracelets she had, were a silver one her sister gave her, a Pandora bracelet, with charms from her family, and a leather cuff with Mjolnir engraved on it, which covered up one of her tattoos. She wasn't ashamed of any of her tattoos, she just wasn't sure if the dwarrow would kick up a fuss, and it was the most noticeable in this outfit. Her earrings never came out, so they weren't a worry, and with how many ear cuffs the dwarrows had, she didn't think they would kick up a fuss with those.

She took a deep breath, and opened the door, only to be shocked. They had all left! After Bilbo's explanation, the company had decided to let Bec bathe in peace, and requested that an elf maid wait, and direct her to the dining hall when she was finished.

The elf maid seemed intrigued by the material of Bec's clothes, and the concept of heels, and they had a lovely chat on the way to the hall. When Bec saw the doors, she started to get nervous, until the elleth calmed her down. Newly confident, Bec started walking more strongly, so a clicking could be heard by those inside. A hush fell over the room, and everyone looked gobsmacked over how well she cleaned up. Despite Gandalf waving her over, Bec walked over to sit between Dori and Bombur, the elleth coming after her with a chair, once she changed direction. Thanking the elleth, Bec sat down. Dori patted her on the arm.

"You look lovely, dear. Where were you hiding these? And all of your lovely jewellery?"

Bec smiled. "I had this packed, because I was going to stop and see an old school friend after my trip, and this is the jewellery I normally always wear, but, I'll be keeping it safe in my pack for most of the trip, as a lot of it has sentimental, rather than monetary value, like my great grandmothers engagement ring, my grandmothers locket and my charm bracelet."

Ori was now the interested party. "Your great grandmother? Who's that? Is it common to wear family heirlooms all the time? Why did your grandmother give you such important things, instead of your mother or father?"

"Well Ori, in this case my great grandmother was my grandmother's mother. It depends on the person I suppose, but I've always believed that jewellery is bought to wear, and so it should be, no matter how old it is. My grandmother gave me the locket and engagement ring before she moved into the nursing home, as my mum, sister, aunt, uncle and cousins picked other things. The only piece I don't have with me, that I wish I did, are her pearls. She left them to me, and while my mother is keeping the large strand, I had the seed pearls that she had."

Kili, having been embarrassed by Dwalin, had wandered over and sat next to Ori.

"What are all of the pretty stones? I only recognise the tiger-eye on your ring? The pendant there looks a little like the Arkenstone from your movie."

Bec leaned over to show him her rings, and her locket slipped out hanging between them. Kili, seeing the different colours in it, grabbed it to have a look, not realising that he was pulling Bec forward.

"What's this one? It's really pretty, all different colours. Oh, and it's a locket, like Gloin's. Who's inside yours, Bec?"

Having finally noticed, Kili let go of the pendant, and Bec sat back a bit. She took a breath, and displayed her hands again.

"Ok, from right to left, I have a pinky ring, with tiger-eye from a necklace my grandpa gave me. It broke, and then stone was the only salvageable part, so I had part of it made into this ring. Then I have a Claddagh ring my grandma gave me, it's a type of Irish promise ring. The one on my thumb is a yin yang symbol, it's about balance, made of onyx and white howlite. Then I have amber in this ring, amber is petrified tree sap, which is probably why you don't recognise it. Finally on my left pinky is a copy of a ring my dad got for my mum when they were dating, with two tiny diamond hearts, and their names engraved on the inside." Bec took off the gold ring to show Kili the inside.

"Finally, the heart pendant is a rainbow moonstone. Moonstone is my birthstone, so when I saw this pendant, I just had to get it. The stone in my locket is called an opal, and Australia, my country, is famous for having excellent opals. I'm sure you guys will have stones here that I've never seen or heard of before either."

Gloin had taken notice of the conversation when Kili mentioned her locket, and chimed in.

"No lass, we have all of those stones in Erebor, but not in Ered Luin, which is why Kili hasn't seen most of them. The only ones I've never heard of are your moonstone and amber."

There was silence for a while, as they ate, or tried to find meat in the case of the company. A loud noise seemed to shatter the silence, repeating and getting louder. It was coming from Bec! She looked a little shocked at all of the stares, then plunged her hand down her top, emerging with what she had called her phone. The elves were amazed at the sound such a tiny object was making, while Bec was flustered at having been the centre of attention again. Kili was goggling at her, for where she had put her hands.

"What? They're big enough; it's like having an inbuilt shelf. It would be stupid not to use the extra space!"

Amazingly, all of the males started blushing, while the elleth wandered closer, asking how she had stopped it from falling out of the bottom of her dress. Bec proceeded to shock the elves even more by explaining about bras, although the elves were intrigued, particularly the female warriors, as breast binding was uncomfortable. Since Bec had brought her bag with her, she gave the elleth one of her bras to examine, and see if they could replicate it.

Before anyone could die of shock at the impropriety, Ori piped up with a burning question.

"Erm, Mistress Saxby? What was that loud noise about, earlier?"

Bec looked a little sad. "It was a reminder Ori, to ring my parents and sister, to let them know I was ok, and see how my baby was going."

There was an uproar at Bec's phrasing.

"That scoundrel left you even with a child!" Shockingly, Thorin's roar was the loudest. Bec, who hadn't realised they were all listening was taken aback.

"Oh! No! No, no, no. I don't have an actual baby. I meant my cat, Shadow. Since I don't have any kids, I kind of dote on her, and I always feel bad leaving her behind, because Troy traumatised her, and she's only slowly getting over it. Would you like to see a picture?"

The dwarrow had relaxed at the explanation, and leaned in to see more of her 'technology'. Bec brought up photographs of her family, and cat. The whole hall crowded in to see this miracle, they weren't portraits, it was like one of the Valar had frozen her family and trapped them inside. When a shy Bombur brought this up, Bec laughed, and replied that it was like a portrait, and that before digital cameras, they used light to sear an image onto film, and printed that. She showed them that was alright by taking photographs, first of the elves, then the dwarrow once they realised nothing bad was happening to the elves.

Thus Bec made her first complete change of the story, as she avoided Bofur's song and the subsequent food fight.

Once they were back in the wing reserved for guest use, Bec enlarged her saddlebags, and started pulling food out. Three different kinds of meat, two in odd shiny packaging; vegetables – potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin, carrots, peas; some sort of flour mix; apples; spices; tea, and best of all, beer. She also grabbed a bottle with a bright yellow label and white bear, but put that to the side. She looked at the gaping company, and chirped, "Dinner is served!"

Bombur and Bilbo got to work peeling the vegetables, while Dwalin and Gloin took the meat. Gloin quickly started carving the ham up, which Bec guessed was from Yavanna, as she didn't remember buying, let alone packing a whole leg of ham. Dwalin had started to look at her two original packages of meat, trying to figure out how to open them. Bec watched for a bit, before taking one of them off him, and slitting the plastic with a knife.

"This is roo meat, Dwalin. I got it to try out, because kangaroos are a pest in Australia, and they're meant to be very healthy lean meat, so I guess we'll see if you guys like it."

Dwalin looked at it suspiciously, but finally gave it to Bombur to put in the pot. Meanwhile, Bec had started mixing together the flour and some of the spices. Bombur noticed, and asked what she was doing.

"Well, I'm making an Aussie bread called damper. Since we only really have a campfire, cakes and such are out of the question for dessert, but I make a lovely sweet version, with apple and cinnamon. Once there are enough coals, I'll put the dough in my camp oven, and then in about half an hour, we'll have some lovely bread, and can put some honey or maple syrup on it, for our dessert. If anyone wants to, that is."

After being assured by everyone that they wanted to try the damper, Bec put it on to cook. Thorin, Balin and Bilbo came back from their meeting looking downcast as they had to wait a week before the map could be read, but they brightened a little when they smelled the stew that had just finished cooking, and were given slices of ham and a beer each. Kili and Fili had meanwhile noticed the bottle that Bec had put to the side, and sidled around to grab it. Before she could stop them, they had each taken a swig. To her mingled amusement and horror, they both spat it out, and guzzled their beer.

"Augh! What is that? It tastes terrible!"

"That boys, is _my_ favoured drink, Bundaberg Rum. Its an alcohol created from fermenting sugar cane juice and molasses, and it's the best thing since vegemite on toast! I was about to say that only hard core or long time rum drinkers have it neat, most people mix it with water or soft drink. Do you want to try again with some water?"

By now, the entire company was listening, so they all wanted to try it, although Dwalin, Thorin, Nori and Gloin insisted on drinking neat rum. Their faces were hilarious to Bec, especially when they realised that she was drinking neat rum. In the end, Dwalin, Nori, Fili, Oin and shockingly Ori all liked the rum, and told Bec that if she ever offered again, they would say yes.

The damper was such a success that both Bilbo and Bombur begged her not only for the recipe, but to make it again when they were on the road. Once everyone had finished eating, they pulled out their pipes, knitting (Ori), and carving (Bifur and Bofur), and proceeded to relax. Once Bec noticed what they were doing, she dove into her backpack, and came up with a small blanket and crochet hook, and proceeded to continue her blanket. Bilbo, who had only crocheted doilies, seemed fascinated by the blanket.

"Oh, well, my grandpa's mum taught me to crochet when I was little, I thought it was much easier than knitting at that point, but I only ever remembered how to make blankets. I do have a fair few patterns and such that I got from magazines or the internet, but I never had time to try them. Guess I'll have plenty of time on this journey, though."

Bec had taken her cuff off to crochet, as it made it easier to move her wrist, and it was just her luck that Kili noticed her tattoo.

"Mistress Saxby, I think you missed a spot in your bath. Or did you get injured from the orcs?"

Hearing the word 'injured', Oin bustled over, and ignoring Bec's protests, held her wrist up to the firelight. The dwarrow all gasped when they realised that it was a tattoo, and Bec cringed, ready to be taken to task once more for being 'unlady-like'.

"That's beautiful lassie, what is it for?" Dwalin had come over, and gently taken her wrist from Oin, who was now smiling.

"Oh, um, I got this after my grandma died. This was my first tattoo, and she loved butterflies, plus they mean transformation, and I thought I could do with some of that energy. Mum had a fit when I came home with it. Kept saying it was unlady-like and I'd never get a job. She nearly had kittens when I got more!"

"You've got more than one, Mistress Saxby?" Fili was entranced, they were delicate little creatures, and he wanted to know what the others looked like.

"Please, call me Bec, you guys. All of you, really. And to answer your question Fili, I have 9 tattoos altogether, you lot just aren't very observant."

Dwalin seemed to be the most eager to compare tattoos, as he came back with, "Well now I'm lookin' lass, I can spy somethin' on the back o' your neck. Is that one?"

"Well done Dwalin. That one hurt like a moth…er….a lot. But I still didn't cry. Would you like to see it? This wolf is because I am in essence, a pack animal, and like the loyalty that wolves have."

Bec swept up her remaining hair, so Dwalin could see the wolf properly, and upon noticing all of the company looking at her, turned so they could see as well.

The dwarrow all looked impressed, as they all had at least one tattoo, denoting their craft, and knew how much they hurt. Thorin especially was looking happier. If this young woman had enough strength to sit through 9 tattoos, she had to be more than she appeared.

Kili jumped in next. "I see some on your ankles!"

"Oh you finally spotted those ones? That reminds me, I need to get changed into some sleeping gear. I'll show you the ones on my ankles, and then change, ok. These ones hurt heaps, right next to the bone. On the outside of my right ankle, I have a Celtic heart knot, with a triquetra inside, which means a heap of things, in the Celtic tradition. I can explain them later, if you'd like. On the inside of my left ankle, I have a triple goddess moon, with a pentacle inside the full moon, this one represents my beliefs. Finally, in a mirror to my little sister's first tattoo, I have a phrase on the outside edge of my left foot. Mine says, "If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living." Now that that is done, I'm going to change. I'll be back in a second and show you the rest."

While Bec was changing, the company had a discussion about how she was much more than she first appeared, first charging towards an orc pack with no fear, then with dressing down an elf lord, and finally with the amount of tattoos she had. It took a lot of guts to sit still and essentially let someone scar you outside of battle, and this tiny girl said she had 9! They weren't small either, although they also weren't large. When she stepped back out, she was wearing long pants, a sleeveless top, and was carrying a jacket. She bent and sat down, and Ori squeaked as he caught a glimpse of her back.

"Mis- Bec, that is a lovely colour on your back. What kind of tree is it?"

The company started whispering as Bec turned around and showed them the large purple tree that stretched from the top of her shoulder to below where they could see.

"This is a Jacaranda tree, or an approximation of one, anyway, and it goes down my left side until the bottom of my rib cage, so that ones pretty big, and its unlikely any of you will see it fully. This one was just because my grandparents had three giant Jacaranda trees in their yard, and we would play in them all the time. It's a lovely reminder."

There were only three tattoos left now, and since Bec was no longer wearing a jacket, they were pretty easy to spot. She had line drawing of a cat on her left inside wrist, which she explained was for Shadow, and because cats were cunning, and lucky. On the top of her left forearm, she had some more writing, this one reading, "We were born to be real, not to be perfect". Her final tattoo was on her right upper arm, and had a tree changing into birds flying away with text at the top and bottom. The text read, "Wings to show you what you can become", and "Roots to remind you where you're from".

Fili, Kili and Ori, as the closest in relative age seemed to be in awe of Bec. Kili in particular knew he would never be able to keep still long enough to get half of the tattoos. Eager to take the attention off herself, Bec set up the laptop, and started the movie again.

A/N 2: I'm still not 100% sure if people like this, so the first three people to comment, can add in their comment a movie or t.v. show they want the company to end up watching, or a quote that you would like to be used. I am trying to write up a few chapters so that I can keep posting every day, or at least every two days.

Also, if anyone can think of more Australianisms to use, or uniquely Aussie situations and stuff, please let me know, because I'm kind of running out.


	5. Spot the difference

A/N: Please be gentle...

Also, poor Nori...

Chapter 4 – Spot the difference, making amends and shocking Thorin.

Bec started up the laptop, and checked the battery. It would last for 3 hours, more than long enough to watch what they could of the movie, but she would need to charge it tomorrow, her phone as well probably. She moved through the movie until she reached the spot where they had left off, and called everyone over.

"Bec, I've been meaning to ask, how do I have a nephew, when I don't have any siblings?" Bilbo had been holding onto this question for a while.

"I don't think I can go into detail, but about 40 years, I think after you went back to the Shire, one of your cousins had an accident, and you took in their child – Frodo. Even though you were technically cousins as well, Frodo called you Uncle Bilbo, and loved you very much. Is that enough?"

"Oh, its nice to know I could help someone, I was half afraid my things would be sold off by the time I got back, but that was Bag End, so the Sackville-Bagginses must do the decent thing for once." Bilbo was satisfied and sat down, so after making sure everyone was comfortable, Bec pressed play.

The smoke ring changed into a butterfly, and hit a young Bilbo on the mouth, while someone in grey stood in front of him. Unsurprisingly it was Gandalf. The dwarrow, however, were shocked that Bilbo had said no. They were very sorry to see that he had not only not been expecting them, but that it appeared to be the same day that Gandalf and Bilbo talked as when the dwarrow came to Bag End.

"Oh dear. Please accept our humble apologies Master Baggins. Tharkun told us more than a month ago that you had agreed to be our Burglar, and would hold a magnificent feast to use up your food stores before we left." Balin was very apologetic.

"Not to worry, my dear dwarrow. I don't blame you. Although if that wizard were here, I would pull his beard! Fortunately for him, he seems to have his own room here, and has wandered off for the night. Please don't worry about what has already happened, I can see the funny side of things now."

Even after Bilbo's speech, the dwarrow still looked very upset, as they had all thought the Burglar was trying to back out of the deal. Now they knew, he just had no idea who they were or why they were there.

They all perked up and sang along to the song though, and Bilbo laughed when Fili and Kili pulled him into an impromptu jig. Thorin cringed at his entrance, especially when Bec gave him an impressive glare.

She leaned over. "You flirt like a 10 year old boy, pulling the pigtails of the girl he likes to get her attention. You don't realise it hurts."

Thorin promptly blushed, and refused to look at Bilbo, or any of his cousins, concentrating on the movie.

They all gaped at Bilbo when Gandalf talked about his ancestor, Bandobras Took, and Kili asked what Bilbo meant, when he said that he was a Baggins of Bag End. Bec, sensing that this discussion could take a while, paused the movie.

"Well, my father's family, the Baggins, have always been gentle-hobbits, meaning that they are wealthy enough not to have to work to live, and own land instead that gets tithes or rent, if there are buildings on the land. I myself, wrote more than a few books, collections of tales, herb lore, etc., and got some extra income from those. So Bagginses generally have responsibilities to the people of Hobbiton – we must maintain a separate pantry, to be fully stocked at all times in the event of famine or disaster, like the Fell Winter. We must also be able to hold all of the children in Hobbiton, plus 10%. After my father built Bag End as a wedding present for my mother, he kept expanding the smial as far as he could, and I continued the work after he died during the Fell Winter, especially adding extra pantries, fireplaces, and bathrooms. My home is nowhere near as grand as the Old Took's Great Smial, but it is enough to be able to evacuate and comfortably hold all of Hobbiton, plus the livestock, and some of the surrounding villages. I did most of the work myself, although grandfather sent over some of my Took cousins and uncles to help. So, when I say that I am the Baggins of Bag End, I mean that I am responsible for Hobbiton in times of distress, keeping them fed and warm, and housing any guests, like Gandalf and yourselves."

The dwarrow were shocked. They had no idea that the stuffy little hobbit was a noble! (For that is what he was in their culture.) Bec decided to really set the cat among the birds and piped up next.

"Hey Bilbo, isn't your grandfather the Thain? You know, the ruler of the Shire?"

The dwarrow gasped. Had they been treating a prince as a commoner, this whole time? Not only gentle-folk, unused to the wild, but royalty as well?

"Don't be silly Bec, Hobbits don't have a ruler." The dwarrow collectively breathed a sigh of relief, especially Thorin. Until Bilbo continued…

"My grandfather may be the Thain, but he only coordinates the bounders and Mayors, and talks to and makes trading agreements with outsiders. He doesn't have a throne or a crown, and he's only asked to pass judgement with cases involving hobbits from different villages."

"Um, Mister Bilbo? That's basically a king…which makes you a Prince." Ori was very quiet, but easily heard in the strained silence.

"Don't be silly, Ori. I've got 8 uncles and 6 cousins who would all become Thain before me, and some of those cousins are starting their own families. Me, a prince? Preposterous!"

Sensing that this was one thing that Bilbo would not budge on, the dwarrow left it at that, but resolved to be more polite, at least until the hobbit grew used to their ways. It was obvious that there was a large cultural difference to get used to. Pleased with her efforts, Bec got their attention and restarted the movie. All was silent until they got to Balin's retelling of the Battle of Azanulbizar. Then, they watched silently, before standing as one, including Bilbo and Bec, and bowing to Thorin. There was respectful silence until Kili sniggered, "I didn't realise Dwalin used to have hair!"

With that, the solemn air vanished, and they sat down to keep watching. They were solemn when the orcs were shown, realising that someone _was_ hunting them, although they did not know why. They were very uneasy at what happened with Radagast, and resolved to show this part to Gandalf when he returned. They had greater respect for the Brown Wizard, seeing him as more than the bumbling fool that he had presented himself as at their meeting.

All hell broke loose when Thorin discovered that it was Fili and Kili who had made Bilbo go after the ponies and then abandoned him! "You didn't even give him a knife!" He roared. They were very appreciative of Bec arriving when she had, as they didn't relish being nearly eaten. When they saw the orc chase, they were amazed that there were no injuries, and when they discovered how dinner was supposed to go, Bofur, Kili and Fili pouted. Nori did as well, but that was because Dori had made him empty his pockets and pack. Once the scene showing Elrond and the map made to change the screen froze, and "To Be Continued" was emblazoned across the picture.

"Well, it looks like that is as far as we can get at the moment. What do you think? Is that enough proof? I tried to keep your ponies, got you baths, gave you meat and booze…Am I sent from Mahal and Yavanna?"

Thorin was once again the spokesdwarf for the group. "We definitely believe you Lady. Might I add, that I am sorry for my previous behaviour, but our lives since the Fall of Erebor have not made dwarrow inclined to trust without reason. I pray that you accept my apologies, and perhaps show us some more of your music, although mayhap something different to the "rock music" you played before."

Bec looked a little taken aback at the apology, and Thorin's manners and even got a little teary eyed. It had been a long time since anyone who had wronged her had actually sincerely apologised, and Thorin actually had a good reason to be suspicious.

Clearing her throat, she loaded up a video on the laptop. "This is an acapella version of a song that was written for the final movie, called 'I See Fire'. The original artist is pretty good, but acapella means that the only sounds made in this song are made by the artists mouth, hands or feet, and it's the one man doing all of it. I would sing along with him like I usually do, but I sound like a tone-deaf dying cat, so I'll leave it to him."

With that said, she pressed play, and let the familiar song wash over her. She watched as the words sunk in for the dwarves, and they started the humming as well, picking up the rhythm easily. This gave Bec to sing along quietly as well. Her voice was bad if she tried to sing by herself, but as an accompaniment, she did very well. Thorin and Bofur started to sing the chorus, making the song really come to life. When the song had finished, they all sat quietly for a while, before Bec offered to show them a slightly happier song, based on another movie from her home, by the same artist.

She put on the Pirates medley, and watched them all become fascinated once again, this time by the costumes, and especially by the children. She had one more thing to show them, to hopefully help them understand a little more of what was acceptable in her culture…she showed them the pilot episodes of GCB and 2 Broke Girls…

The company was looking a little shell-shocked, although Nori, Bofur, Fili and Kili all appeared interested in visiting Bec's home, so she switched to another battery pack, and put on Captain America: The First Avenger, explaining that it was a popular movie made from a popular comic series, and it was probably a little more their speed.

It was a little confusing for the dwarrow until Bec explained that just like Men in Middle Earth, while all human men could grow facial hair, most shaved it off, as that was considered fashionable at the moment. They all loved Steve and Bucky, and were very fond of Peggy, saying that she would make a fine dam. They were all very upset, going so far as threatening the screen when the plane went down, and were very happy with the ending, although sad that Bucky had died, and Steve was stuck. They were shocked when Bec explained that Peggy would be an old woman now, and very sad to find out that Bec would only live for another 70 years at most. Bec decided not to say anything about Mahal granting her a longer life if she decided to stay until it became an issue.

Still talking about the movie, they all set up their bed rolls, while Bec climbed into her sleeping bag, and fell asleep. Once the dwarrow were sure that she was fast asleep, Fili, Kili and Ori all snuggled up next to her, to keep her warm and safe, and Dwalin and Nori sat up for the first watch.

In the morning, Bec stopped Lord Elrond after breakfast.

"I wished to apologise for my behaviour the previous day, my Lord. I was scared, and, like most in my world, when I get scared enough, I get angry and lash out. It was still uncalled for, and very rude of me, especially after you have taken us in, regardless of my words. There is not much that I can offer in reparation, however, I am more than happy for your people to examine my sleeping bag and tent, as my people have managed to make them very lightweight and easy to carry. It may make things easier for your patrols. Is this acceptable?"

Elrond looked very pleased with Bec's phrasing, and graciously accepted her offer, before sending her off after the dwarrow, to the sparring rings.

Dwalin and Thorin were sparring, while Kili practiced with his bow. On another target, Fili and Nori practiced their knife throwing, and Bifur was throwing his spear at yet another target. Bec was slightly shocked at the amount of knives that Fili and Nori had on them, it was at the point where the skill in hitting the target was hitting one of the few spots not already occupied by knives. Bec wondered over, and when they spotted her, Fili and Kili started showing off, only slightly obviously. When Fili offered to let her throw some of his knives, Bec saw an opportunity that she had waited years for. She looked at him very seriously.

"That's not a knife. _This_ is a knife!" With that she pulled out her machete, and showed it to him. When poor Fili only looked confused, she couldn't hold it in any longer, and collapsed in giggles.

"Oh! Oh, your face, Fili! Your face is priceless! I have been waiting years for that setup! I could kiss you!" With that, she jumped up, and planted a big kiss on his bearded cheek, winked at Nori and a gaping Kili, and skipped off to see Thorin.

Looking after her with a slack jaw, Fili could only stare, until Nori clapped him on the shoulder, and said, "She's right, your face right now is absolutely priceless."

Thorin, Dwalin and Gloin had all agreed the night before that Bec needed to be taught at the very least how to wield a staff before they left Rivendell. For this reason, Bifur and Bofur had spent some time before breakfast finding an appropriate staff in the elves armoury, and Thorin had examined it, making plans in his head to reinforce it with metal before they left. For today, Bec was using a quickly carved staff that Bifur had made. As he looked for the woman, he noticed the look on his sister-son's faces, and side-eyed a chuckling Dwalin.

"I don't want to know," he groaned. "Just tell me if it becomes a problem."

Dwalin sniggered into his fist. "From the look on your heir's face, I think it might become a problem soon, especially if she keeps wearing such tight clothing."

This was in reference to Bec's clothes, a pair of tights and low cut singlet, with a loose nearly sheer white t-shirt over the top. She didn't realise that it was problematic, as Thorin had asked her to wear training clothes. She just put on her gym clothes. When Dwalin explained that they would be teaching her some simple moves before getting her to spar Fili with moves she had learned, she ducked her head and smirked, before looking up innocently and agreeing. These dwarrow had another thing coming if they thought she was _completely_ useless in a fight.

Still, Bec dutifully learned the stances, a high and low block, and the basic jab, before Dwalin deemed her ready for a practice bout. Fili stepped up, and they went through the drills together that Dwalin called out, for about an hour. Bec begged for a break, so they ended up having a light lunch, before returning to try a free spar.

It was going well, if slowly, until Fili got her in a lock with his twin swords. He leaned in and whispered, "This isn't too hard for you is it? I can go slower, if you need me to."

Fili was too busy looking away at a laughing Kili to see her eyes narrow, and he definitely missed her shifting her weight. What he didn't miss was the smug grin on her face as he hit the floor. While he was distracted, Bec had spun under her staff, and kicked at his knee. When his leg buckled, she swept his feet out from under him, and jumped back.

Fili was not the only dwarf in shock. Thorin was gobsmacked that his heir had been beaten, while Kili was dying of laughter in the background.

"You got beat by a girl, brother!" He crowed. He also gulped very loudly, when Bec's glare moved over to him.

Thorin and Dwalin moved forward. "Why did you not tell us you could fight, lass?"

Bec shrugged. "I can't fight, not as you lot look at it. I'm fairly good in unarmed combat, which will translate alright with a staff, for the most part, and I have a little gymnastic ability. It works well for one on one or even up to four on one fights in a pinch, but in an actual battle, I would be a worse liability than Bilbo."

The dwarrow were confused about what she meant by unarmed combat, until Bec had them bring a pile of tiles and a piece of wood, and set them over a gap between two stone benches. They were beyond shocked when, after releasing loud yells, Bec split both the tiles and the log in half. Oin rushed over, muttering about foolish girls, and was stunned into silence when, except for a slight red mark, her hand was undamaged. They didn't think it possible to be shocked any further, until Bec had Dwalin stand in front of her with his hands raised up and open, and she moved him back three steps with a punch, and nearly knocked him over with a kick.

Even when Bec explained that she was nothing even nearing a master, the dwarrow still asked that she give them a proper demonstration, which Fili demanded be fought with him, still a little stung by his previous loss. Bec agreed to two bouts, one armed and one unarmed, that would be stopped as soon as she called. It was agreed that the armed bout would be fought with Fili, while the unarmed would be with Nori, who had some experience in boxing, the closest any of the dwarrow had heard of, to what Bec could do.

Fili and Bec faced each other, Fili glaring a little. Dwalin dropped his hand, and Fili advanced with a yell, slashing one sword down towards Bec's head. Bec Spun the staff so it aligned with her arm, blocking the strike while spinning out of the way. Fili had too much momentum to turn as quickly as Bec had, and roared when she jabbed him in the back. As he turned, he swung both of his swords up, hoping to throw the staff out of her hands. She jumped backwards, barely avoiding the slash backwards, then swung the staff at Fili's side. She gave him a glancing blow, but Fili had recovered more quickly than she had anticipated, so she pulled back, ducked and tried to sweep his legs with the staff. When he jumped, she waited until he landed, and then tangled his feet with the staff. He did fall, but managed to control his fall to land on top of her, with one of his swords at her throat.

"Yield." Fili's voice was a low growl, and his pupils were huge. He looked very angry.

"I yield!" Bec squeaked, being slowly crushed.

While Fili gave Bec a hand up, Thorin and Dwalin were talking, until they saw Bec looking, and then gave her approving smiles. Bec walked over, grabbed a water skin and had a drink before pulling her t-shirt off, and motioning to Nori.

When Nori went bright red, she looked down.

"Seriously? My rack is the one body part I'm not ashamed of, you lot might as well get used to it now. Also, my eyes are up here, Nori. It's going to be a quick fight if you can't take your eyes off my boobs."

With that parting shot, she walked back into the ring, taking the water skin and her shirt with her. She dropped them on the ground, and cocked a hip out waiting for Nori, along with Fili, Kili, Ori and Bofur to put their eyes back in their heads. Nori sauntered out, trying to look cool. It failed when his eyes kept drifting back to her chest.

"Ok, Nori. Any rules, or just no holds barred, _unarmed_ fighting?"

"Anything goes lass. I'm a mite trickier than yonder prince though, and you couldn't beat him."

Bec smirked. Just for that comment, as soon as Dwalin yelled to begin, she sashayed forwards to a wide-eyed Nori. She put her arms around his neck. "Are you sure you don't want any rules, Nori?"

Nori swallowed. "No rules, lass. There's none in proper fighting after all."

"Ok." With that, Bec kneed him in the jewels. When he bent over with a groan, she kneed him in the face, and heard a crack. Then she pushed him over.

"I win." And walked away.

There was a beat, and then the whole company burst into laughter. Fili and Kili watched Bec walk away with dropped jaws, and a little fear in their eyes. Nori just cried in the dirt.

A/N 2: What did you guys think of my fight scenes? They're the first I've written, so I'd love some feedback on them.


	6. Making up, and meeting some new friends

Chapter 5 – Making up, and meeting some new friends.

While the company was rejoicing that their Valar-given champion was not a gentle girl who needed to be guarded, two dwarrow in particular were very unhappy with the day's outcome. Fili had gotten off much more lightly than Nori, as only his ego was injured, and he had beaten Bec in their second bout. Poor Nori; his nose was broken, and he was still wincing a little when he walked or first sat down – Bec may have underestimated her new strength compared to dwarrow soft tissue.

Bec felt really bad, she hadn't thought they would take it this badly. At this point though, for Nori, it was a point of pride that he'd underestimated her, and she didn't think that dwarrow had really thought of unarmed fighting, as most of them had a weapon for every situation they could think of. Balin had already asked her if she would teach the dams and dwarflings some moves when they had retaken Erebor. As for Fili, from his attitude she would put him at around her sister's age, 21, but then Bec realised that he and his brother had probably not interacted with a lot of girls, plus while they were at home, the princes were more than likely held to a high standard in public. The two combined would make anyone want to be a little childish when they got the chance. Plus, his _uncle_ was his role model, and there was the perfect example of an emotionally constipated man's man. She wracked her brain, trying to think of ways to cheer them up. They had to be personal, so she couldn't just show the group another movie, although she had some ideas on the next lot to show….

Bec thought the whole night through – she swore even her dreams were full of different ideas! Finally, after remembering the coming storm, she knew what she was going to do for Fili. She was going to knit him a circular scarf, so that he could keep his neck and face warm in cold weather. Bec had a hunch that the reason why none of the dwarrow except for Ori wore a scarf was because they were afraid it would get caught on something. Luckily, she still had that camo knitting pattern on her phone, three different shades of blue, and had packed her circular needles (she'd been intending to try knitting again while camping, as there were less distractions).

Once Ori noticed what she was doing, he wandered over. When Bec explained, all Ori wanted to do was make his own pair of circular needles, though Bec wasn't sure how…maybe leather with screws on either end into hollow ended needles? She left it up to Ori. Once she had the pattern down, it was a simple job to switch the colours, and soon she had a blue camo scarf ready to go. It was mostly a navy blue with shades of indigo, cobalt and Prussian blue scattered throughout. Not bright enough to be noticeable or distracting, but enough colour for a pleasing pattern. Now was the hard part, actually giving it to Fili. It would be made even harder since the whole company had noticed what Bec was doing. She resolved to wait until after the mid morning snack, and go for a walk, hoping that Fili would wander off as well. He had started to do so after meals, especially since Kili had started to pay more attention to Ori.

Bec was in luck, and Fili walked away as soon as he had finished. She waited a minute, and then followed him. He went to a very familiar fountain, before he sat down. Once he had settled, Bec approached. Fili didn't look up until she was standing right in front of him, and when he saw her, he made to get up.

"Wait! I'm sorry if I offended you, Fili, it's just that I'm used to people underestimating me not only for my size, but for my gender. It's easy to be a loudmouth, but people are shocked that I can back up my opinions, and that's how I stayed safe. I did mean to say something, but then you were all so sure that I didn't know anything, and I just wanted to prove I could help!"

Bec was gasping for air at the end of her explanation, and like Nori, Fili seemed fascinated by her heaving chest, almost mesmerized, until he shook himself out of it. Bec had to contain a very fangirly squee, as he had the most adorable pink blush on his cheekbones as he looked away.

"I am not offended, Mistress, I am upset that I underestimated you so. Even if you have made a habit of deliberately allowing yourself to be underestimated, I still should not have assumed. Uncle always says that underestimating an opponent is the quickest way to die. Regardless, you fight very well, although I do agree with your assessment that you will need practice in a battle style situation."

Fili had drawn up his mask, it seemed, which did not suit Bec at all. His face was blank yet polite, and his speech was cultured and flat. He no longer looked or sounded like Fili. What to do?

"Well, I've got a present for you Fili, to say I'm sorry, and I was gonna just give it to you, but then you went all stuffy. Soooo, now you'll have to catch me to get it, or I'll just give it to Kili. That would be a pity, since it wouldn't suit him at all!"

While Bec had been talking, Fili's eyebrows had been rising higher and higher, and when she turned to run, a smirk lifted the side of his mouth. He waited a few seconds to give her a head start, as he also removed his heaviest weapons and outer wear, leaving him in his boots, pants and tunic. Just as she turned the corner, he took off after her with a playful roar.

"Don't you dare give it to Kili! Bec, you come back here, right now!"

Bec lead Fili on a merry chase, and when she started to tire, she ducked into an empty room and hid outside on the balcony. She started to slow her breathing, and once she had heard Fili thunder past, cautiously poked her head out. Seeing the coast was clear, she moved to walk back the way she had come. She didn't notice the shadowy alcove, until a pair of arms reached out and caught her, tugging her into a muscled chest.

"I hope that's you Fili." She muttered. "Speak up now, if it is, or you'll get the same treatment as Nori!"

A low chuckle sounded. "I caught you, Bec. So where's my present?"

As he let her go, she turned around and punched him in the arm.

"Jerk! You scared me!"

She pulled him back the way they had come, until they reached a small garden with a wooden bench. Bec sat down, and turned her face up, soaking up the sun. She didn't move even when Fili sat down beside her.

"I'm assuming from the weather that it's around spring time, but it's nowhere near as hot at Australia normally is, so I'm soaking up the sun whenever I can. This is like a really really nice autumn day, just warm enough not to have to wear long sleeves, but you probably will have to soon."

As she explained, she turned and presented Fili with the scarf that she had stashed, once again, in her top. He looked at it with confusion.

"It's a type of scarf we make at home, you loop it around your head and don't have to worry about the ends. The pattern is something that most armies in my world wear called camouflage. They use different colours to help them blend in better to the environment around them. Technically, I should have used green, but the blue is so pretty, and it makes your eyes really noticeable. What do you think? Can you forgive me?"

Fili looked down, petting the scarf.

"It's very soft. I thought you said you couldn't knit, though?"

"I never said I couldn't knit, I just said that crocheting was easier."

Fili looked back up at her with what was fast becoming his signature smirk.

"I'll forgive you…if you tell me how you moved so fluidly when you say you don't have any fighting experience."

Bec shrugged. "Well, I took a few dancing classes after I got divorced, I wanted to do something nice for myself. I took some belly dancing, swing and pole dancing classes, and some of those movements just stuck with me. The quick ducking came from the pole dancing, the footwork came from belly dancing, and the lifts in swing helped me to remember some gymnastics moves from _way_ back in the day, which I didn't really get to show off. I can show you later if you want?"

"Only if you want to. I don't understand though, what are belly and pole dancing?"

"I have some videos on my laptop that I can show you if you'd like. Both are way more complicated than anything that I can do, but I used them as inspiration for what I could do one day, if I kept at it."

Fili agreed, so he and Bec went back to the guest quarters. Bec didn't realise what she had agreed to show him, and how the dwarrow might react until she saw Dori. She leaned over to Fili, and said, "Now that I think about it, both belly dancing and pole dancing are probably a bit more risqué than you are used to, and Dori already thinks I'm bad enough."

Fili snorted, "Dori isn't that bad, he just needs to remember that not everyone is as uptight as him. Even then, once he relaxes, he's not that bad. Now show me these "videos".

A nosy Kili had overheard Bec, and demanded to be shown as well, leading to all of the company being included. Bec tried to explain before-hand that they would not be used to the styles of dancing at all, but in the end, decided to just show them. She did emphasize that she was nowhere near as good as the women in these videos though, until the dwarrow were just yelling at her to start the video.

"Jeez, you'd think this lot grew up with this the way they're starting to behave." She grumbled, before pressing play. She'd decided to show them 3 of the belly dancing videos that she favoured before the pole dancing.

The first was her favourite, the one that had gotten her into bellydancing. The woman in this was amazing, and the dwarrow (and Bilbo) were entranced, although they were all also blushing bright red at her costume. When the video was finished, Bec explained a little.

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"Ok, I did warn you, Dori, don't glare at me! Belly dancing is hundreds of years old, if not thousands, and started in the eastern part of my world. In the East, there are lots of deserts, and it's very hot. It's also very male-oriented, so the women, even now do not have as many rights and freedoms as women in my part of the world do. Belly dancing started as a way to entertain husbands and owners, because in the days when belly dancing started, slavery was common. Now, women have taken back belly dancing, and use it as self-expression. I've got two more of these types of videos to show you, so you can get an idea of how I've managed to adapt it to fighting. If you don't want to see anymore, just sit down out of view of the screen, or go and do something else, because the pole dancing I will put on will be the sport kind instead of the other."

With that said, none of the dwarrow (or hobbit) actually got up, so Bec assumed that they were just as fascinated as she first was. Next she showed them a Master Teacher, which they liked.

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The final video was of a finalist that Bec had just liked the look of, and did a little more hip work.

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After that, Bec stopped to _try_ and explain pole dancing. "Oh boy, this is not my favourite moment. Stupid mouth, getting me into trouble! Rightio! My fine fellow company members, after your reactions to belly dancing, I thought it would be prudent to attempt to explain pole dancing before I show you any videos. Dori, stop glaring at me! Pole dancing started in gentleman's leisure clubs, which is a fancy way of saying strip clubs. The idea is that the pole was a substitute for the men's…erm…lower half. They don't wear a lot of clothes, because skin contact is needed to grip the pole properly. I'm going to show you a video of a sport version first, where the emphasis is on the technique and skill, rather than trying to seduce, ok? If you don't feel comfortable, you can leave at any time, and if you want to see an example of the other kind after, I'll show you one or two, ok?"

With that, Bec played the video of the Russian female champion, as she had a hunch that they probably wouldn't react well to a male pole dancer.

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They were all in awe at the strength that the woman needed to have, and all elected to stay for the next videos, thinking they couldn't possibly be that bad. Bec decided to show them the famous opening number for Miss Pole Dance Australia 2014, as there were so many dancers, she was hoping that the focus would be divided.

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After that video, Dori, Balin, Oin, Gloin, Bombur and Ori walked away to start lunch, uncomfortable with seeing any more. Thorin and Bilbo were appearing to have a civil discussion over the merits of Bilbo using _his_ dance background as a base for his fighting and wandered out of the courtyard. Nori, the princes and Bofur stayed, as well as a surprising Ori and Bifur. So, with a little apprehension, Bec started the last video. It was the champion's choice from the 2015 Miss Pole Dance Australia, and contained more risqué floorwork than the previous two. She held her breath and pressed play.

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Halfway through the video, there were shocked gasps from above, and two tall brown lumps thumped into the dirt. Bec shook her head, as along with the twin elves, buckets of sticky sap and feathers fell on top of their heads. The dwarrow were shocked and starting to get angry, before a snort from Bec distracted them. She was laughing so hard, that every now and then a snort would escape, making her laugh harder. Tears were running down her face as she howled, and the pouty glares from the elves only made her worse. Finally, Fili and Nori turned her around so she could no longer see them anymore, and she started to calm down. Once she was calm and sober again, she leaned around the prince and waved.

"Elladan and Elrohir, I presume? Does your father know what you were planning?"

They looked shocked at Bec's knowledge, and looked down, embarrassed.

Thorin was confused. "How do you know these elves, Mistress Bec? Who is their father?"

Bec grinned at the angry twins. "I know them from Professor Tolkien's books, they never made it by name into the movies. They are Lord Elrond's sons. They're his version of Fili and Kili, and it's probably good for the both of you that the Dwarrow/Elf feud exists, because I don't think Arda would survive if they became friends!"

The twins had recovered while Bec was speaking, and looked speculatively at the Princes. They had visions of prank domination dancing in their heads until Bec noticed and slapped the backs of their heads, Gibbs style.

"Enough of that! I said no, boys! Now, what shocked you so much that you fell out of the tree?"

"My Lady, we were shocked by the vision you were watching. Elladan and myself have never seen such things. Adar said that you were sent by the Valar, are these things common in your world?"

So Elrohir had two braids in front of his ears, while Elladan had them behind. Bec was never sure how they were told apart, until now.

"Well, yes and no. It started out as entertainment for males, and it has shifted, with the female equality movement, so now women do it for sport and their own enjoyment, although there are still strip clubs that do this. Its regarded as risqué, but its still not as bad as porn."

She was hoping no-one had noticed her slip, but of course Bofur, the little shit that he was, had tuned in on the one part she didn't want him to.

"There's something worse than that? What did you call it – porn? What is that?"

She groaned, while blushing. This interested the listening company, as nothing had managed to make Bec blush before, not even Bofur's raunchiest song.

"Yes, it's worse than pole dancing. Yes, its called porn. No, I'm not telling you what it is, I'm never mentioning it again. I don't have any on here, and even if I did, you lot would never watch it!"

With that, she closed the laptop, grabbed her phone and a long white string with curious bulbs at the ends, and stormed off. The company looked at each other in shock. That had certainly never happened before. While the company was distracted, the elves snuck away, hoping to bathe before their father saw them. Meanwhile, Dwalin and Dori had followed Bec, concerned at her reaction.

They found her in a small courtyard, with the cord in her ears, looking at her phone screen and crying silently. Bec jumped when Dori put a gentle hand on her shoulder, looking up, and pulling the cord out.

"Sorry," she sniffed. "They're head phones, mini speakers that go in your ears. I didn't hear you coming."

Dori smiled at her. "Don't mind the boys, they mean well, but you've reacted so well so far, I think they forgot that you've been dumped in a strange world."

Dwalin patted her on the back. "Don't let them make you cry, lass. I'll beat them sound in the ring, if it'll make you feel better?"

Bec laughed, a sad thing, with her voice caught in her throat.

"I wasn't crying over them, well, not really. It just really hit me. I can't go home, not until this is finished at least, and that's going to be at least a year. Even though Mahal said that he can return me to the exact time he took me from, I'll still remember, and I've never really been further away from family than a 15 minute drive, except when I went to America. I was watching some of the few videos of my family."

Dori hugged the woman fiercely. "You're so mature sometimes my dear, that I forget that your world is softer than ours. You don't even hunt for food do you?"

Bec snuggled into the hug, it was just like she remembered her grandpa's, soft and warm, with underlying steel. Dwalin turned her phone, trying to see what she was watching.

"Oh, this is from my mum's 50th birthday. One of the kids got up on their dad's car…um…carriage, and filmed this for me. Mum wanted a pie fight, so that's what we did. It was lots of fun, although caramel and whipped cream do not go well as hair products. This was before I got my contacts, so I had to take my glasses off; I was practically blind. See, there I am, I just got my dad! And then my cousin got me, right before the after photo."

Bec giggled a little, pointing out her family members. Dwalin and Dori were a little shocked at the waste of food, but calmed after Bec explained that her mother had wanted to have a pie fight for her birthday ever since she was a little girl. They also made her swear to never show it to the Princes, Nori or Bofur. Next she showed them some short videos from her wedding, her and her bridesmaids, and her dad dancing. They both commented that Troy looked very weaselly, and she could definitely do better. The final video that Bec, Dwalin and Dori watched showed Bec's cat, Shadow. While Middle Earth did have cats, they were mostly rat catchers, and not as well looked after as Shadow. The dwarrow could see the love she held for the animal, and realised that Bec was probably treating her cat as a surrogate child. She had confessed earlier that she didn't feel like trying to start another relationship after the fiasco that her first one turned out to be.

With the videos finished, Bec dried her eyes, hugging both Dori and Dwalin and thanked them. When she said that they reminded her of her father and grandpa, they both turned red, and sent her on her way. When she wandered in the opposite direction to the company's quarters, they hurried back to take the young ones to task. This meant that when Bec made her way to the practice yards Bofur apologised for what he'd done, shocked when Bec brushed his apology away, and hugged him.

"It's alright, I get a little crankier this time of the month, I'm just sorry I took it out on you."

She turned to Nori. "I feel really bad about the dirty fighting yesterday, but that is how I'd fight for real. Would you like me to show you some tricks?"

Nori, mollified at the prospect of learning something new, agreed, and stepped into the ring. Bec called Kili, who was slightly taller than her, in to be a test dummy.

"First, I'm going to teach you to S.I.N.G. I'm not talking about your voice, its an acronym that stands for Solar Plexus, Instep, Nose and Groin. It tells you where to hit, if someone grabs you from behind."

She demonstrated with Kili, pulling her strikes. "So you jam your elbow straight back, and straight after stomp on their instep. When they start to bend, you force your palm straight towards their nose, you need to be careful with that strike, you can kill someone that way if you hit them hard enough. Most of the time, the leverage just means that you break their nose, and they let you go, which is when you turn around and knee them in the groin. Then you run like hell. Did you want to try on Kili?"

After Nori had successfully executed the S.I.N.G sequence, Bec showed him eye jabs, kidney shots, and slowly demonstrated how to blow out someone's knee. She warned him not to try any of these on people he liked, and then showed him some drops and weaves that she used, based on pole dancing. She also showed him some kicks and blocks, and by the end they were exhausted, and the company was amazed. If she was not an expert, how much better would one be? As Bec upended a water skin over her head, she heard a strangled noise coming from Nori and Fili. Looking down, she realised her white shirt had become see-through.

"Seriously guys, they're just boobs. All women have them."

Nori swallowed, while Fili's eyes had glazed over. Was that drool?

"All women might have them lass, but dams are not as…well-endowed as you are, and these knuckle-heads haven't even seen many dams."

Dwalin's explanation made sense, so Bec apologized, and put her coat on. Nori groaned, and Fili made some noise that was a cross between a whimper and a whine. Dori whacked Nori over the head, while Fili appeared to come to, and went scarlet. Even his forehead went red! Bec was concerned that he would pass out, so she made him sit down and drink some water, while patting his hair. The rest of the company looked on, amused, especially Kili.

After joining the elves for dinner again, the company went back to their quarters. Bec had thought of another show they could watch, that hopefully wouldn't be found offensive. When she spied the elven twins in the tree again, she invited them down. Bec started up the first episode of the BBC's Sherlock, and went about making old-fashioned popcorn. She made plain, salty, sweet, and a mix of sweet and salty for herself. All of the company liked the treat, with Oin and Balin preferring the plain; Dori, Dwalin, Thorin, Gloin, Bifur and Bofur liked the salty popcorn best; Ori and Kili adored the sweet popcorn, and Nori, Fili, Bilbo, Bombur and the twins all pinched Bec's mix, so much that she had to make another two batches. When Kili wanted to know why Mister 'Boggins' didn't know all of this stuff, Bec had to explain that the actors in the movie that played the company were also in other movies and television shows, and this one had the same actor that played Bilbo.

Thorin exclaimed, "So that's why Red Skull looked like Lord Elrond! And I sort of look like the spy…"

"Yes Thorin, I was actually hoping none of you had picked up on that. The actor that plays Lord Elrond actually lives in Australia, although I'm fairly certain that he's not actually an Aussie by birth."

Sherlock was a big hit, with Nori very interested in the science of deduction. Bec had the feeling that she may have created a monster. She was also inundated with questions about the legal system from a very interested Balin and Dwalin, and what techniques could be used in Middle Earth. Bofur and Gloin seemed to be very taken with the idea of bombs and guns, so Bec was expecting prototypes to pop up when Erebor was re-taken, if not before. She questioned her wisdom in continuing to show them futuristic concepts, but eventually shrugged it off. If they were clever enough to recreate them, more power to them. Plus she was sure that if she wasn't supposed to be showing them, that Mahal would have made sure she couldn't.

After the twins left, it was time for sleep. As she had actually noticed the puppy pile she was waking up in, this time, she dragged her sleeping bag over to the princes, put it over their legs, and climbed in. Once she had fallen asleep, she squirmed until she was tightly cuddling a once more bright red Fili. He started wriggling, trying to get out of her hold, to the laughter of the company. Even the noise didn't wake her, she just tightened her hold on Fili, and nuzzled her cold nose into his neck while muttering about squirmy teddy bears. Fili huffed, and gave up, especially when his Uncle muttered that his mother used to do the same thing with his father. Then he just went red again, and pouted. Once the company had settled down to sleep, and started snoring, he turned on his side, put his arms around Bec and his nose in her hair, and went to sleep.


	7. Cooking up a storm

Chapter Six – Cooking up a storm with Bilbo and Bombur and leaving Rivendell.

When Bec woke up, most of the company was still asleep, with only Bombur, Bilbo and Bifur up. Bifur appeared to be on watch, while Bilbo and Bombur were discussing what to do for food. They didn't want to tax the elves hospitality too much, after all.

Bec chimed in. "Well, I could show you some of my recipes if you'd like. From what I saw in the movies, and read in the books, the food here seems to be English in style, so I may have a few things you've not seen. Like the popcorn."

That did it. It was decided by the three that the day would be a rest day, and Bec would show them as many of her recipes as she could. It started with breakfast. Bec, with Bombur and Bilbo's help once she showed them how, whipped up mounds of French toast, doused in maple syrup, pancakes with lemon and sugar, omelettes with the dreaded "green food" hidden inside. There were also tomatoes stuffed with bacon, mushroom, cheese and rice; delicately poached eggs; fruit salad, and of course, vegemite on toast! Since Bec had taken charge of the vegemite, everything was a big hit, with most of the company going back for thirds. Thorin expressed concern that Bec was depleting supplies that they could use later, but Bec explained about Yavanna and Mahal's gifts. She offered the company to put their cherished belongings in her bags, as they couldn't be harmed or stolen, and they happily promised to do so before they left in the morning. It was a great relief for the dwarrow. Thorin took it a step further, and asked if they could put their sleeping and cooking gear in their as well when they were walking, in the case of accidents. Since the weight didn't change, and was barely noticeable in the first place, Bec agreed. This would help with the fiasco that was Goblin Town, ensuring that nothing important would be lost.

Bec, as part of her daily ritual took her pill with breakfast. Unfortunately, Oin spotted her. After dragging out that it was a type of medicine in her world, he then wanted to know what the medicine was for. What if Middle Earth had a better remedy? Finally, Bec had to very loudly explain about the contraceptive pill, and what it did. While Bilbo nodded along, having a tea that did something similar in the Shire, the dwarrow were shocked. Bec felt silly for not realising. With such a low birth rate, and low female to male ratio, of course the dwarrow would not have thought that anyone would want to prevent pregnancy. It calmed down a little after Bec had explained how easy it was for most humans to conceive, and was backed up by Bilbo. All hell broke loose when she mentioned that a friend of hers had started using it after she was almost raped. It turned out that Hobbits and Dwarrow both cherished their women so much that such a crime was unthinkable. For the dwarrow in particular, as such an experience could cause the few women that they did have not want to conceive. A long discussion was held, in which Bec repeatedly assured the company that such a thing had never happened to her, although she admitted that her friend was the reason why she had learned to fight.

After everyone had calmed down and finished breakfast, Thorin, Balin and Dwalin went in search of Gandalf and Lord Elrond, while Oin and Gloin went to stock up on healing supplies. This left Bifur, Bofur, Nori, Ori, Fili and Kili with nothing to do, so Bec decided they would have a Marvel marathon. She sat them down, and started Iron Man, after making sure that they remembered Howard from Captain America, and explaining that this was his son, and this was set in her time. Once they were set, she made Dori a cup of peppermint tea, and sat him down with one of her favourite books, 'The Ancient Future', by Traci Harding. That left Bilbo and Bombur to go over her recipe collection, while Bec attempted her favourite cupcakes…without any modern conveniences!

After the first batch burned on the bottom, Bec got Bilbo to help teach her how to use the wood oven in the small kitchen attached to the guest wing. Once she got the hang of it, she started on the cream cheese frosting. With the second batch a success, they were done just in time for morning tea. Bilbo had made scones with cream and jam, and Bombur had made a lovely vanilla cake, but the crowning glory were the lemon and blueberry cupcakes, with the lemon curd center. Dori told Bec and Bilbo that he would happily pay them to bake for his teahouse in Erebor, while the Princes had a furious whispered conversation that ended in Fili blushing and Kili cackling like a loon. By this time, the others had returned, surprised to find more food, but happily eating it. They were filled in on what happened in Iron Man, and Bec set the second Iron Man on, and went to try and figure out how to make burgers, as well as setting up the ingredients to make peanut butter cookies, shortbread and Anzac biscuits. Once everything was prepared, she left Bilbo and Bombur cooking the meat, and started making a pizza dough. Once that was done, she called in Ori, Kili and Fili, and asked if they would like to help. She set them up with tomato paste, and ingredients all ready to go, and told them to call when they had finished putting toppings on all of the bases, then Bec got onto the cookies. By the time the cookie dough was done, the burgers were assembled and taken out, and the pizzas were put into the oven. Dwalin, Kili and Ori were big fans of the burgers, and everyone loved the meatlovers pizza. Kili declared that Bilbo, Bombur and Bec would be the royal cooks, and he and Dori started bargaining on their future time. It was eventually decided that Bombur would be the royal cook, with the option to call in Bilbo and Bec for feasts and balls, if Bilbo and Bec would stay in the royal wing and cook for Kili once a week. Kili was so taken with the idea that he started calling Bilbo 'Auntie', much to a slightly red Thorin's chagrin. After the lunch, the company went to the baths, with Bec staying behind to tend the cookies that were baking. When they were halfway to the baths, Fili and Nori turned around, "To guard the food from the skinny twigs." On hearing that, Dwalin also turned around, walking directly behind Nori.

When they arrived back at the guest wing, they were shocked. Bec had a very small top on, bearing her stomach; small shiny black shorts, and bare feet. She had music that sounded similar to the music from the belly dancing videos playing through the speakers and was shimmying, belly rolling, and hip shaking all through the courtyard. When she went to turn, Nori grabbed Dwalin and pulled him out of sight, pinning him against a wall. Fili was frozen, and so when Bec turned around she saw a gobsmacked blond dwarrow prince, and promptly squeaked and hid in a bed roll. The bed roll happened to be Fili's. This seemed to be a bit much for Fili, who turned and bolted like the hounds of hell were behind him.

Fili slowed to a walk when he was far enough away. He didn't understand it. He was a grown dwarrow, and he was acting like a dwarfling with his first peach fuzz! He knew that he found the champion attractive, but he also knew that nothing would come of it. From what Bec has said, Fili knows that if she were a dam, she would be Craft-wed. Plus after what her 'ex-husband' did, and how the toad had treated her, he was surprised that she was even willing to be around as many males as she was. She may not have been physically abused, but the dwarrow of Erebor all knew how much words could damage a soul.

He sat on a bench with his head in his hands. Surely Mahal would not have sent him his One, only to take her away again? For a while, he had thought that he just didn't have a One, but when she appeared, Fili started to feel lighter, not as empty, and like he always wanted to be as close to her as possible. It was why he turned back when he realised she would be alone. He wanted to spend time with her, when she could just focus on him, instead of all of the others. That had backfired badly. Until she had turned around, Fili could pretend that she was dancing for him, and now when he closed his eyes, that was all he saw. He knew that Bec thought that her dancing was bad, but he thought it was wondrous. Fili hated his imagination sometimes, he was getting very uncomfortable. Fili shook his head. If ever he needed his amad's advice, it was now!

Suddenly, he remembered his amad telling him and Kili about how she told their father she didn't want a One, and their father accepted, knowing that she was too impulsive. He stayed close by, making friends with Uncle Thorin, Dwalin and Balin, and waited for her to change her mind. When she went to him, he finally started to court her! That is what Fili would do. He would stay close, and be friendly, waiting for Bec to change her mind. Mahal willing, he would find a way for her to stay.

Bec was very embarrassed, and after getting the last of the biscuits from the oven, putting more clothes on and taking a platter of the freshly baked cookies with her, went to try and find Fili. She was sidetracked by a kissing Nori and Dwalin.

"Yes! Finally, the sexual tension was killing me!"

This broke the pair apart, both smiling sheepishly. Bec laughed, gave them some fresh cookies, and told them to go explore before their older brothers found them. When she turned around, Fili was standing a couple of meters away, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hi. Sorry about that, I thought I would be alone for an hour or so. I know it was a bit of a shock – " Bec got cut off by Fili's hand.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I could have made noise, and you shouldn't feel ashamed about what you were doing. From what you've shown us, there was no indecency, and you were doing nothing wrong." He took his hand away and smiled up at her. She was only 2 inches taller than him, so it wasn't too obvious, especially since she still had bare feet and Fili was wearing his boots. Nowhere near as ridiculous as the height difference between Kili and the elves he was mooning after before Ori distracted him.

"Now, I came back to see if I could help you with dinner or anything. _Is_ there anything I can help with? If not, I can escort you to the baths, I know you like to take a while with your hair."

Bec smiled, relieved that Fili wasn't upset, and pulled him into the small kitchen. She pulled out bags of potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, capsicums, onions, mushrooms and zucchini. She told him what needed to be done, then pulled out two legs of lamb, and started to rub them over with a little oil, salt and pepper, before putting them in the oven. On top of the oven she had two giant pots, both with butter melting in them, although one had a spice mix heating through, and the other had garlic. She threw chopped onion into both, with chopped carrot also going into the spice pot. Once the carrot and onion had softened in both, she added mince, and broke it up. She chopped up tomatoes, and added them to both, as well as kidney beans into the spice pot. She put the lids on to simmer, and went to help Fili. Once all of the vegetables were done, she put them in a big bowl with water in it, and turned to put some music on. 'Uptown Funk' was the song of choice, and she laughed, encouraging Fili to dance with her, and happily sang along loudly. Fili, entranced by her smile, copied what she was doing, soon doing a simple two step, and spinning her around. She giggled when he lifted her and spun. "I didn't teach you that, Fili!"

Once the song finished, Bec went to check on the two pots on the stove. In the spice one she added capsicum and mushrooms, along with some water and stirred it. In the other, she added grated zucchini and carrot, and some dried herbs, as well as some water, and stirred that one as well. Fili had come over to investigate, and was sniffing interestedly. "What are these? They look very different to stew."

"The one with all of the spices is called chilli, and its an American dish, I think. I learnt to make it from a family I stayed with in America anyway. The other one is spaghetti bolognaise, or as most Aussies call it, spag bol. I just need to put some noodles on for the spaghetti, but that can wait a while. Now, I'm going to make a special dessert, called pavlova. Wanna help me? I could use the extra muscle."

Fili blushed a little, but agreed. Suddenly, 'Shake It Off' came on. Bec, realising that no-one here knew who Taylor Swift was, started singing and shaking while whipping egg whites. Fili, to Bec's amusement, copied her. "You only have to copy my hands, Fili, not my dance moves," she laughed.

Fili shrugged, and kept dancing. "It makes you laugh, so I think I'll keep doing it. I'll have to teach you a proper Dwarrow dance in return though."

"Deal! Now, if your egg whites have soft peaks, that means that you should be able to lift the whisk and a little mound will form, and stay. We want soft peaks for the egg whites, and later on, stiff peaks for the cream. Stiff peaks means that you can turn the whole bowl upside down and it won't fall. The way to do it, is to tip it gently first, because if it moves when you tip it, its not stiff enough."

Fili spent the rest of the afternoon in the kitchen with Bec, much to the horror of Kili, who was sure that his brother would ruin the food. Bec had put on Thor, and then the Avengers. The company now all had their favourite characters, although they all loved Coulson, and were very angry at Loki. Bec hoped, since one movie universe was real, that Loki never found his way to Middle Earth, he may not leave it alive! Once the Avengers movie had finished, Bombur came out with both of the lamb legs, and Bilbo followed with the platter of vegetables. Bec had a huge jug of gravy, and mint jelly, while Fili carried out the pot of spaghetti, noodles freshly introduced. A hastily conscripted Dwalin rounded out the procession with the pot of chilli. Bec warned all of the dwarrow about how spicy the chilli was, but they reassured her of the constitution of dwarrow. Kili was the first to take a big mouthful. He chewed and swallowed, looking relieved, but then breathed in and cringed. Apparently dwarrow were _not_ accustomed to spicy foods. Bec laughed a little before giving Kili a glass of milk, and the dwarrow all took much smaller bites, and agreed that while good, the chilli was an acquired taste. The spag bol was well received, but the roasts were demolished, even all of the vegetables were gone, and plates were licked clean. As the whole company was groaning, Bec offered them another movie marathon. She put on the first Twilight movie. Thorin, Balin and Bilbo moved to go and meet Lord Elrond, and Bec quietly assured them that she would hold some dessert for them until they got back.

Once they had left, she went and got one of the pavlovas made, and put it on the table. When she came out with the other, she grinned at the groans coming the dwarrow watching the movie, apparently Bella had started dating Edward.

"Hey someone pause that! Desserts on the table!"

Instantly, the table was swarmed. Bec had discovered that the way to a dwarrow's heart was to feed them sweets, so she know the pavlova would be a hit. All of them looked afraid to touch them, even Fili. Bec huffed.

"Desserts are made to be eaten, you know. Would it help if I cut it?" With nods all round, Bec was passed a knife that she was sure she saw on Lord Elrond's table. With a shrug, she cut the meringue and passed out slices. For a while there was only chewing and happy moans. Kili announced that this would be the official dessert of Erebor, while Ori nodded happily beside him. The darker prince pouted when Fili revealed that he was the only other person who knew how to make it.

After they had moved to finish the movie, Thorin, Bilbo and Balin came back. Thorin moved to speak, but before he could do more than open his mouth, Bec had shoved a piece of pavlova in. He chewed, frowning at her.

"It looks like bad news, but if it can wait, at least eat your dessert, and let them finish the movie. We've already put everything important in my bags and they're in my pocket. The only things left out are my laptop, the sleeping gear and weapons."

Thorin relaxed, and nodded, swallowing. "Did Dwalin give you your staff? We need to leave in the night."

Bec answered while getting Balin and Bilbo their plates. "Yes, and it is lovely. You didn't have to go to that much effort just for me, I could have used a plain staff."

"You are part of my company and a champion from Mahal besides, Rebecca daughter of Martin, and it was only what you deserved. A great warrior still needs a well-made weapon. Once we get to Erebor, I will make you a staff coated in mithril, with runes telling of your journey. Until then, this was the best I could do. You have already helped us, and I have the feeling that you and the Burglar will make the difference between success and failure."

Bec nudged the King. "It helps that you think our Bilbo is easy on the eyes, though, right? I've been meaning to ask, are Ones really a thing? Because Mahal implied it, and fanfiction writers have been speculating about it for ages."

"Yes, we have Ones. And yes, I think that Bilbo is mine. I also think that Kili and Ori, Nori and Dwalin, Bofur and Dori, and Bifur and Balin may be each others Ones, but I have no proof."

"If you want proof, I caught Nori trying to check Dwalin's tonsils with his tongue earlier today. I'd say you were on the money with that guess. Looks like the movie's finished. I apologise in advance, I may have gotten them hooked. You're up, your Majesty."

Bec wandered over to pack up her laptop, and any remaining things that could be, while Thorin told the company what was happening. Since it was so late, they agreed to just leave in an hour, and walk until either they passed the first foothills or night fell, whichever came first.

Before they snuck out, Bec left one pavlova, and a cut glass bottle of rum on the table in the kitchen, with a note thanking Lord Elrond for allowing them to stay.

Bec was not looking forward to walking, but she could be wearing a skirt. At least it would allow her to finally shift some of her stubborn extra weight.

Bilbo was also sad to leave Rivendell. He had really connected with a lot of the company, and he was afraid that being back on the road meant that the behaviour would change again, especially Thorin's who had been a little nicer to him ever since he found out that he hadn't volunteered or known about the quest beforehand.

Most of the company was happy to leave the elves behind, although they were sorry about leaving behind the facilities to make such wonderful food.

None of them noticed a tall slender figure, silhouetted in moonlight watching them go.

' _The luck of the Valar goes with you, Lady Champion._ '

Bec turned, and saw her. She nodded her head, and thought back, hoping that Lady Galadriel would hear her. ' _And may it be with you my Lady of the Golden Wood. Be careful in the Mirkwood, Gandalf will need your help._ ' As a sharp pain pierced her head, Bec knew that she had 'said' too much. With a quiet groan, she rubbed her temples, hoping that she could hold the headache off until they stopped.

Dawn was breath-taking, cresting over the mountain range, and bathing the valley in a golden light. Bec winced, and pulled her sunglasses out of her pocket. If this headache continued, she would have to take her contacts out, and wouldn't _that_ lead to many questions. She stopped gratefully, sighing in relief when Thorin called for a brief stop. She finally managed to dig out her packet of Neurofen, popped two tablets, and leaned against a sun-warmed rock to let them do their work.

Fili, having noticed that Bec appeared to be sensitive to the light, and was trying to massage her temples, approached and offered his assistance. He was both shocked and hugely turned on by the sound that left her mouth when he moved to rub her shoulders, having been able to feel the tension in her neck. Luckily, she had been quiet, so none of the other members of the company had heard. As he kept working, Bec slumped more and more against him. He couldn't believe them amount of tension she kept in her tiny shoulders and neck. Fili was honestly shocked that she could move as well with the staff as she had shown, this was ridiculous! Once he had gotten rid of all the tension, Bec offered to do the same. Unfortunately, Thorin called out from the front, so Bec changed the offer to when they set up camp. Fili agreed, and continued to walk beside her.

Kili and Ori had slowly shifted back during the day, with Kili complaining of boredom, and Ori knitting while walking! When Kili kept whining, Bec told him the rules of I Spy, and started playing with him, while sharing a long suffering look with Fili that simply said, 'younger siblings, am I right?' When Kili got sick of playing I Spy, Bec made a mistake. She taught Kili '100 bottles of beer'. He was a horrible singer! Very loud and very off-key. It took Bec covering his mouth and saying outright that he was lucky he was pretty, because he wouldn't be attracting anyone with his singing voice to get him to stop. Then he was occupied with pouting and huffing while Ori assured him that he had a lovely voice, with Bec smirking in the background. Fili looked at Bec, not sure what was happening. She pointed to Kili and then Ori, and then held up 1 finger, then smiled at the look of dawning comprehension.

Fili and Bec had enjoyed the rest of the walk, with Fili talking about his childhood in the Blue Mountains, while Bec contributed with bits and pieces from her childhood. Fili thought she was holding out on him, until she reminded him that she was only 25, and didn't have as nearly long a childhood as he did, linearly speaking, anyway. Fili was fascinated by the concept of schools for learning reading, writing, math and history, and vowed to take it up with his Uncle. With 75 years until a dwarrow was considered to be of age, it wouldn't take much to set up the same thing to run for between the ages of 25 and 40, alongside weapons training. Bec was equally fascinated by the idea of a Craft, and said that if she had one, it would probably be writing stories, after all, writing stories was what lead her to be here. Fili wanted to know if she was a good writer, and Bec explained that while she was a decent writer, being an author of fiction was a popular occupation in her world, and she had not yet happened upon a good enough storyline to try and publish. Fili then declared that he would make it a law for people to purchase her books in Erebor, while Bec laughed, and smacked him, saying she wouldn't force reading on anyone, especially not if they didn't want to.

They didn't notice, but the rest of the company was taking bets on how long it would take Fili to start courting Bec. Thorin, remembering Dis and Vili, bet that it wouldn't happen until they reached the mountain, while Kili claimed that he could make his brother start within a week. Everyone then warned Kili not to interfere, unless he wanted interference with his own courtship. Kili, looking at Ori out of the corner of his eye, blushed and subsided.

Thorin took note of how low the sun was getting, and motioned for everyone to be on the lookout for a good place to stop. Once they had found it, he sent Bifur and Nori to scout around, while Dwalin checked behind them. When they reported back with an all clear, he sent Fili and Kili to get firewood, and Bec and Ori to get water from the nearby river. Even with Bec's limitless supplies, they would still use what they had first, while taking what they needed from the surroundings.

Once everyone had come back, the fire was lit, bedrolls were laid out, and Bec made Fili sit down in front of her.

"I still owe you that neck rub, remember?"

The only sound to come from Fili was a quiet groan. By Mahal, her fingers were like magic! Tension he didn't even realise he had was melting away. Bec leaned forward to ask if it was against any rules to give him a head massage. Not thinking straight, Fili agreed, only realising after, and hoping she wouldn't offer head massages to any other dwarrow. When she started scratching his scalp lightly, he was done for; he could die a happy man….At least until Kili piped up with, "Why is Fili purring, Uncle?"

Bec stopped, and Fili opened his eyes to glare at his younger brother, until he caught sight of Thorin looking at him knowingly. He choked when Thorin signed, 'just like your father', and smiled gratefully.

Bec brought out her knitting again, having, with Ori's help, nearly finished enough circular scarves for the company, so their faces would at least be warm-ish when the storm hit. Speaking of which, she had decided not to try and change anything there, as it seemed too risky. She was however, going to fall with Bilbo and put poor Gollum out of his misery. She also had a little box that Yavanna blessed. That blasted ring was going to sit in it until she threw it down Smaug's throat. With the ring inside the box, Smaug would not recognise it until after he had already melted it, and Bec was going to do the same to the stupid Arkenstone. She already had a replica without the nasty enchantment packed in her bags. Thorin would not be going crazy this time, no sir! She had taken every single precaution, except for Gandalf un-cursing the treasure, and as soon as he arrived, (which would hopefully be more quickly than in the movie thanks to her interference with Galadriel), she was going to drag him into the treasury by his scraggly grey beard, and sit on him until he fixed it…Of course, she was hoping that she could just ask him nicely.

While Bec was scheming, she had finished the scarf, and handed this last one to Thorin, who just looked at her.

"Trust me, Thorin, you'll be glad of it soon."

That said, she packed everything else up, and went to sleep in between Fili and Kili. The whole company waited until she fell asleep, quietly cheering when she rolled over and latched onto Fili again.


	8. Down deep in Goblin Town

A/N Cookies and a scene of your choice to the first person to identify the Buffy reference! ;)

Chapter 7- Down deep in Goblin Town

Bec woke up. She was shocked, because it appeared that she was the first one awake.

No, wait. Bifur was on watch, and Balin was watching him. Balin got up, and sat down next to Bifur, who put an arm around him. Bec did a mental happy dance. Two couples down, two to go! Not counting Bilbo and Thorin…should she have the shovel talk with Thorin? Would he understand it, or just be offended? Hmm, decisions, decisions.

Bec tried to get up, so she could start some coffee going, but she was stopped by what felt like a steel band around her ribs. Lifting up her sleeping bag, she saw…an arm? She followed the arm along until it reached Fili. Bec assumed she had been mistaken for Kili, as she knew they tended to cuddle whoever was closest to them at night.

When Bec tried to lift Fili's arm up, however, he frowned in his sleep, and rolled until he was half on top of her, nuzzling into her neck. Bec valiantly managed to hold her giggles in – those moustache braids were very ticklish! She looked around to see who was awake that could help her out, and noticed Nori smirking at her.

"Nori! Help!" She whisper-yelled. Nori rolled his eyes and came over.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, mister! I'm pretty sure Fili won't like waking up, with me plastered to his front!"

Nori was muttering under his breath as he smoothly shifted the prince around, something that Bec thought was, "He'd love it if he woke up with you on his front." But she knew that couldn't be right, she wasn't even the right race, let alone of good enough birth for a prince. Plus, she would need to be attractive, and she knew the only things attractive about her were her boobs, hair and eyes.

Once Bec was free, she stretched, before getting the cooking things out of her bags. As well as the coffee, she put on a big pot of porridge, with cream, honey and maple syrup set aside for when it was ready. She looked sideways at a hovering Nori. "I'll cover for you and Dwalin to sneak off tonight then."

As Nori went to walk off, Bec continued. "Oh, and Nori? If you hurt Dwalin, I will beat you to death with a shovel." Nori looked at her, shocked.

"Dwalin reminds me of my dad, and I want him to be happy. So far, that means you. If you give someone a vague threat, they might dismiss it, but if you make it very specific, in terms and consequences, they are more likely to take you seriously." She smiled brightly at him, and patted him on the back, turning back to the nearly brewed coffee. Nori stared at her for a bit longer, before scurrying back to his bedroll. When he saw that Dwalin was waking, he leaned in and whispered, "Our champion is terrifying when she wants to be. I also think she has declared you her surrogate father, because she just threatened me on your behalf."

Dwalin was still groggy, and just smiled dopily and came back with, "Tha's a good lass."

After breakfast, Bec introduced Kili to 20 questions, which quickly dissolved into a competition on which dwarrow could remember the most stone, gem and mineral characteristics. Bec really should have guessed that would happen, when she told Kili that the most common first question was 'animal, vegetable or mineral?', but for some reason, it didn't. Bec bowed out early on, and soon it was a fierce three-way battle between Bofur – the miner, Ori – the scribe, and Fili – the jeweller.

Bec sidled up next to Fili after a three-way tie was called by Thorin – who really just didn't want to listen to them argue anymore.

"I didn't realise you were a jeweller, Fili. I thought you were a blacksmith, like your Uncle?"

Fili looked at Bec and grinned. "No, making jewellery is my Craft, whereas the blacksmithing was for making money. Uncle is the opposite. In Erebor, he had to learn statecraft, but his Craft was blacksmithing. I love making jewellery. Every bit of gem has a place to go, and I can often just see a stone, and designs pop into my head. My mastery piece was a ring for my mother, with filigree designs, and chips of different shades of sapphire, onyx and diamond. It started out with the diamonds at the top, and got darker and darker until the onyx at the bottom."

"That sounds lovely. The fanciest jewellery I have is my grandmother's mum's engagement ring." She drew up her chain until the ring came out, and showed it to Fili.

"It's not much, but I always loved it as a child. It's too small for my fingers, my great grandmother was an absolutely tiny woman, so I wear it in the hope that it will one day be used again. I could never bring myself to use it with Troy, and he insisted on a huge gaudy ring that he ended up taking back anyway."

Fili examined the ring, with a practiced eye. "It's lovely. Much plainer, and with no where near as big a stone as a dwarrow would have, but it suits you. I hope you find someone who makes you want to wear it."

Bec laughed. "Oh, no, I didn't mean me. I had just decided that I would give myself until my 32nd birthday to find another man I could love, and if that didn't happen, then I would use artificial insemination to have a baby on my own. I meant that I hoped that any children I had would want to use it."

Fili looked confused. "What is 'artificial insemination'?"

Bec went a deep scarlet. "Oh, that is when women go to a fertility clinic, and the…semen is put directly into their womb. It sort of simulates sex, and it happens until the woman is pregnant. Men donate their contribution, and write up a profile, and the woman can pick which man she wants to 'father' her child. I guess I just figured, with so many single mothers, I would rather be single and happy, than in an unhappy relationship just to have the children I wanted."

Fili looked shocked. "That is possible in your world? That there are fathers who abandon their children? I'm glad you came here then."

He hugged her around the shoulders. If that is what she had to look forward to in the other world, he would fight until his last breath to keep her here, where she would be treasured.

Bec was confused, but accepted the hug. She was a very affectionate person, and was blossoming under the casual touches of the dwarrow, who it turned out were a race with lots of physical affection. She particularly liked seeing the family members touch foreheads, it was very sweet.

Thorin meanwhile, was getting a little fed up with the back and forth between Dori and Bofur, and Kili and Ori. They were all aware of the pull, but seemed to just miss the others looks, thus thinking that it wasn't returned. He had decided after a talk with Fili to leave his eldest sister-son alone; he seemed to have everything well in hand at the moment anyway. If Thorin heard Kili sigh longingly one more time though…

As if on cue, Kili sighed, long and loud, while peeking through his curtain of hair at an oblivious Ori. That did it. Thorin stopped, and turned grabbing Kili and dragging him back to Ori. Ori nearly fell over when a flailing Kili was pushed into his arms.

"I'm sick of this! If I can see this, so can everyone else. Dori, Bofur, you are each other's ones. Kili, Ori so are you. We will stop for lunch while you four go and talk things out. Now go!" This last part was heavily growled when it looked like they would protest.

Fili laughed when Nori tossed him a money purse. "I knew you couldn't put up with Kili mooning for long, Uncle."

Bec chimed in with, "Thanks for saying something. I would have tied them together soon anyway, but that was much easier." She jumped when Dwalin clapped his hands on her shoulders, saying that he would have helped her.

Dwalin pulled Bec aside, his faint memory of Nori that morning pulling at his mind.

"Did you threaten Nori, if he harmed me, lass? You do know that I can take care of myself?"

Bec looked at her feet, and nodded shyly. "I know that you can, but often when we care for someone, we forgive them too easily, and give them too much power over us. You already remind me of my dad, and I don't want you to get hurt. Nori being your One doesn't mean that you'll automatically have a happily ever after, you still have to work and build a relationship. I just want to make sure that he'll do everything in his power to make you happy."

Dwalin hugged her tight. "If I had been blessed with a daughter, or even a son, I'd hope that they would have been as good a fighter and as sassy as you are. Luckily for me, Mahal sent you to me anyway."

As he put her down, he turned her around and turned her towards Fili. "You need to think hard, because any of us would adopt you in a heartbeat. This is me offering you mine and my family's protection, for however long you may be in our world. You can take as long as you need, and then after you decide, we can talk to Balin, if that's what you want. Go on and get some lunch, lass."

With that, Dwalin walked back over to Nori, who he presented with a bead. Bec recalled Balin and Bifur doing that too, but she didn't understand the significance. She would have to ask someone later.

Kili and Ori returned, blushing and holding hands, while Bofur was smiling at Dori goofily, and so often the he kept stumbling. The company all clapped and cheered. Bec noticed that they all had matching braids, and sidled up to Bombur to ask him what was happening.

"Sorry, I guess that we sometimes forget that we have three outsiders in the company. It's alright to tell you this, and you can pass it on the Bilbo before he gets into trouble, eh? Our hair and beads are very important to dwarrow, its where we list our family and achievements. So only kin and Ones are allowed to touch your hair and beards are reserved for yourself and your One. The first step in our courtship is to exchange hair beads, and if the courtship is accepted, the dwarrow will braid it into their One's hair to show they accept. Once this happens, which can take up to a year, as different dwarrow feel he pull at different times and strengths, you have accepted the other as your One, and gifts begin to be exchanged. You'll probably see braids in Dwalin, Balin, Bifur and Nori's hair by tomorrow morning. After that, they have to keep their distance, as once you find your One, nearly all physical affection is saved until the marriage night. Cuddling, holding hands and touching foreheads is allowed, but that's it. Many dwarrow have lovers before they find their Ones, but we believe that having the strength to hold out for a year or more shows our respect and love to our One, and our thanks to Mahal for his blessing. Does that help?"

Bec nodded, but still looked confused. "But Fili let me give him a head massage the other night. Isn't that breaking a rule?"

Bombur looked contemplative. "He probably didn't want to embarrass you, but now you know not to do it again. It's alright lass, I won't hold it against you. Don't worry yourself over it anymore." Bombur gave her a reassuring smile, and a gentle forehead bump, and walked away to pack up.

Bec stomped over to Fili, and dragged him away from his brother.

"Why didn't you tell me before I touched your hair that it wasn't allowed!"

Fili looked sheepish. "Well by the time I opened my mouth, you had already started, and then it felt really nice. I meant to tell you later, but I forgot. Please forgive me?"

Fili was cursing Bombur in his head. He knew the big cook meant well, but now he wouldn't be able to have his One's hands in his hair anymore. At least, not until he owned up, but she still seemed more than a little skittish.

Bec breathed out, slow and deep. "I'll forgive you for this one, but if I go to do anything else that I'm not supposed to, tell me!"

Fili grinned. "In that case, don't offer to help with anyone's weapons, or give any more presents. Both can be taken as offers of courting." He laughed a little, and bounded to catch up with his brother, as the rest of the company had started walking off. Bec huffed, picked up her staff, and stomped after him, seriously contemplating 'accidentally' tripping him down the next hill.

Thorin had noticed that Fili was very clumsy after lunch. After the third time he had tripped over his own feet and nearly sent them all down the hill, he called him up to walk beside him.

"What did you do to displease your One, my heir?"

Fili looked at his Uncle in shock. "I didn't think you had noticed!"

"I know you aren't silly enough to abandon our traditions for a pretty face, and you are acting just like your father was when he was attempting to get your mother to accept him."

Fili scuffed the dirt in front of him, and looked down. "I didn't tell Bec about the hair touching, and since I haven't told her she's my One, she got embarrassed that I didn't say anything. And then I told her that she shouldn't offer to care for anyone's weapons or give anyone gifts either, as they would be considered proposals of courtship."

The company was shocked at the sight and sound of Thorin roaring in laughter at a shame-faced Fili. The laughing bounced off the rock around them, echoing back and forth.

"In that case, you deserve everything she gives you, little lion. Now go back, take it like a dwarrow, and help her up the mountain. It looks like a storm is approaching, and I'd like to get as far as possible before it hits."

Bec got more and more nervous as the storm went on. She knew she had to be very careful, and moved up right behind Thorin. As the stone giant underneath them woke, she poked him. "Don't even think of being nasty to Bilbo. He's terrified, and in need of comfort."

She didn't hold out hope, but felt better for warning him.

Bec was proven right. She stepped up to the smaller man, and gave him a hug, calming his shaking slightly. "It's ok, Bilbo, Thorin's just scared right now. He knew that there was a high risk of death on this quest, but I think it just smacked him in the face. He didn't mean what he said, you just concentrate on getting warm." She brushed his sopping hair off his face, and smiled reassuringly, before leaving him with Bofur and hurrying after Thorin and Dwalin.

When she reached them, she smacked Thorin in the back of the head. " _That_ is for being an idiot after I told you not to, and _this_ -" a kick in the shin, "is for being far too mean!" While Dwalin tried to disguise his sniggers as a cough, Bec marched into the cave, and settled down. She was prepared, and ready to stand with Bilbo. She just hoped that Mahal had made her durable enough to survive this fall…

Bec, having managed to stay behind Bilbo, dove after him, grabbing on, and tucking herself around him. "Hold on, it's gonna be a bumpy ride." Before Bilbo could reply she tucked her head in beside his, and covered them with her arms, thanking Mahal for the Mithril plates in her leather wear. Once they had bounced to a stop, Bec put her hand over Bilbo's mouth and held her breath until Gollum had dragged off the dead goblin. She got up and started looking for the ring.

"Is this what you're looking for?" Bilbo whispered, holding up the evil thing.

Bec nodded, and opened Yavanna's box. "Quick, put it in here, so I can get it safe and we can go."

Once the ring was in the box, and the box was safely in her shrunken bags, Bec breathed a sigh of relief. "Let's get out of here."

The game of riddles didn't happen, instead Bec offered Gollum three raw chickens, that she had laced with one of Nori's poisons, in return for showing them the way out. Just to make sure, she 'stumbled' and nicked Gollum with a dagger coated in essence of Belladonna , also 'borrowed' from Nori, just as he left them at the back door. She felt bad, having a hand in his death, but she also knew that he would never find peace with his Precious gone. She felt dirty, but it was better all around, this way.

Fili was trying to keep the goblin's away from all of his knives, so he didn't notice Bec was missing until they were before the Great Goblin. Nori shoved him. "I'm pretty sure her and Bilbo got away. Hopefully, they'll catch up, rather than be caught."

Fili couldn't hear anything that was happening over the roaring in his ears. He swore to protect her, and the first chance he has to show how safe he can keep her, she is taken away. He doesn't take notice of anything until a white light washes over everything, and his mind clears. He realises that she must have known what was coming, and has done something to help Bilbo or the company in another way. It doesn't stop him from being extra vicious to the goblins on the way out.

When they got out, and Gandalf asked where the two missing members were, Fili lost it. He turned to go back, and only Dwalin grabbing him in a bear hug stopped him. He was hissing and swearing, struggling as hard as he could, when he caught sight of two figures moving towards them. He hung limply, and when he saw that it was Bec and Bilbo, slithered out of the hold and raced towards them. He clapped Bilbo on the shoulder and pushed him towards his Uncle, and gathered Bec up in an embrace so tight that she squeaked.

"Don't ever scare me like that again, khalthûna! I thought you were lost!" Fili tightened his grip even more.

"Air! Fili, I need air to live!" Fili let her drop to the ground and catch her breath but he didn't let go, simply pressing his forehead to hers, and staring into her eyes. Just as Bec started to blush, they heard warg howls. As they ran, Dwalin shoved her staff in her hand.

"Never leave this behind again, lass!"

With that, they continued to run, until they hit the cliff. Climbing was more difficult than she had realized with all of the armour on. Bec just held on for dear life, and made sure she was on the same side as Thorin, but up higher. She face palmed when Thorin stood up, and made a note to smack him until he promised to never do anything so stupid again.

When Bilbo also stood up, Bec gave him two minutes before she followed, just in time to whack Azog's warg on the snout. When the giant orc snarled at her, she grinned, saluted, and screamed, "Come and take me on, you butt-ugly excuse for a mongrel."

Azog jumped off, and stomped over. Bec was a little gobsmacked that he had understood her, but waited until he was close enough then jabbed her staff right into his crotch. He crumpled, and she whacked him as hard as she could in the head, while Bilbo, having gotten over his shock, chopped off his arm at the shoulder. For good measure, Bec shoved her (read: Nori's) dagger into his throat, then pulled it out and shoved it through his eye. Once he stopped twitching, she looked up. All of the orcs were staring at her in fear.

"Rack off, you fuckin' morons, before I do the same to you!" She was distantly surprised at how loud she was, but unfortunately, her yell had the opposite effect. She shared a quick look with Bilbo, and raised her staff, only to be shocked when a blur of blond slammed into the orcs with a yell. She looked around and saw the rest of the company doing battle as well, except for Dori and Ori. She saw Gandalf jump, and screamed as a claw wrapped around her.

As she fell onto the back of another Eagle, she crept forward and said, "If you don't drop me, I'll try not to pull on your feathers." The Eagle screeched in what she hoped was agreement, and Bec huddled down, trying to stay warm, knowing she was in for a long ride.

Fili vowed, as soon as they were on solid ground again, he was never letting his troublesome One be more than an arms-length away again! He nearly died of terror when he saw her following Bilbo and goading Azog. He was very proud that they managed to kill the bane of their line, but still terrified and angry. He was torn between calling out to see if his Uncle was awake, and trying to calm himself enough that he wouldn't try to drag Bec away as soon as they were set down. Kili, upon noticing his scowl, nudged him.

"At least you won't have to worry about having a boring life, nadad. She'll definitely keep you on your toes!" When Kili started laughing, all Fili said in return was, "One, watch your back once you're on the ground again, and two, shut up, or I'll tell Dori that you're taking liberties with Ori."

As Kili squawked about how that wasn't fair, Fili settled down, and set his stare on the Eagle that held his One, and didn't move again.

In all the drama surrounding Thorin, Fili hung back. When Bec stood next to Bilbo, he crept up behind her and waited. Bilbo opened his mouth, but only got out, "Well, I do believe –" before Bec clapped a hand over his mouth. Everyone looked at her, shocked.

"We never, ever say anything like that, because then Fate does all she can to prove you wrong." She hissed, before letting him go.

With that, everyone turned to head down the Carrock, and Bec bumped into Fili.

"I'm sorry Fili, I didn't see you there. Are you alright? You look strange."

Fili frowned. "I look strange because you could have died, and I wouldn't have been able to do anything about it! Stupid woman, why would you risk yourself like that!"

Fili had been getting closer and closer, yelling in a shocked Bec's face, until he captured her lips in a passionate kiss. She went with it, moving her hands into his hair, and tugging gently, until the cheering of the company pulled her out of it.

"Why would you do that, Fili?"

Bec turned red when Fili rested his forehead on hers, and handed her a bead. "Because you are my One, khalthûna, and I have been holding off, hoping you would feel the pull. I wanted to kiss you at least once before you said no, so I did that before I gave you the bead."

With that, Fili turned and walked away, while Bec stood staring, shocked speechless, behind him.

A/N2: Khalthûna (lit: heaven-lady = angel)


	9. Decisions and Beorn's

Chapter 8 – Decisions, decisions, and arriving at Beorn's.

Bec was in deep thought. She had been ever since Fili's outburst. She couldn't deny that she found him incredibly attractive, but she never thought she had a chance. Now that she knew she did, she wasn't sure what she should do. By all accounts, dwarrow were a very loyal race, once they had found their One. That was it, their would never be another, even if she rejected Fili. Her heart, however, was still not healed, and she didn't want to lead him on.

Bec remembered Bombur saying that it could take up to a year before a decision was made, but she didn't have that long, only until after the mountain was claimed and the battle finished, a mere three months or so. She still was considering the merits of trying to get Thorin to go around the Mirkwood, as she had no intention of letting anyone use the ring. She did still have a favour each from Mahal and Yavanna, but that would be an absolute last resort.

Bec tried to imagine going home, and in every scenario she could think of, she was unhappy. The truth was, no matter how much she loved her family, she didn't fit in there. She was too much of a dreamer for the realities of her world, the product of what were fast becoming old-fashioned ideals and dreams, and even if she did become a well-respected author, she would still miss the _family_ she had come to love here in Middle Earth. Although she knew that her death would hurt her family, she was a burden on them, and she could perhaps convince Mahal to do something different, she wasn't sure yet, but there was an idea brewing in the back of her mind that she could not pin down.

Regardless, now that she knew that she would not be going back to her original world, she _needed_ to think about Fili. If she couldn't imagine going back, could she imagine a life without the golden Prince? To be honest, she was a selfish person, and couldn't imagine living without all of the company within walking distance. She was hoping that with Thorin slated to survive the Battle, he could convince Bilbo to stay. She had become incredibly fond of the older man, he was basically her best friend, and he tried very hard to understand all of her references. Alright, she had established she didn't want to live apart from the company, and she wasn't leaving Middle Earth when everything was over. Now the hardest part. Could she imagine seeing Fili with someone else? Even though she logically knew it wouldn't happen, it was the quickest way to figure out her own feelings. When her chest started to feel tight, and a tugging sensation developed, she had her answer. Fili was her One!

Before she answered Fili though, she needed to talk to Dwalin. If she was staying, she needed a proper family. The thought of Nori's face when he found out he would be her stepfather didn't hurt either. With a slight giggle, she jogged up the line of dwarrow until she got to Dwalin, and pulled him out of line. He eyed her curiously, but kept quiet until Bifur as rear guard had passed them.

"Well lass?" He raised an eyebrow.

She hummed a little, suddenly nervous. "I've made my decision. About staying, I mean. I'd like to stay in Middle Earth after everything's over. And Mahal said that he would give me a longer life and everything, if I did, so…Anyway, I was thinking, if I'm going to stay, then I'd really like to have a dad here, and you remind me so much of my dad in the other world, um, I was wondering if the offer was still open? Of adoption, I mean? Plus, I reckon you'd have a blast with Fili as my dad…um, Dwalin?"

The poor woman was very nervous, as Dwalin seemed to have stopped breathing. All of a sudden, he whooped, and scooped her up into a gentle bear hug, twirling her around. The company halted, and a confused and angry looking Nori, Fili and Thorin started back. Dwalin, not noticing the commotion called out.

"Balin, I need your permission as head of the family. You've got a niece to welcome!"

Bec, spying over Dwalin's shoulder, giggled as Nori went pale and swayed, while Thorin and Fili seemed to sigh in relief.

"I'm too young to have a daughter, dammit Dwalin. Don't you giggle at me, missy. I'll be your step-dad, and I can torture you with my affections with Dwalin."

Bec gulped, not sure if she liked this sassy Nori, especially not with the look Dwalin was giving him. Before he put her down, she asked him what she should do with Fili. Dwalin just looked at her, while she fidgeted.

"Well, you've already got the dad stare down, huh? I'm pretty sure Fili is my One, but I'm not sure if I can do that again. Is there anyway we can keep going how we were while I figure it out, or do I have to keep my distance?"

The large dwarrow sighed, and looked down. "Don't give him hope, lass. It's better to keep your distance until you've decided. I will say, even if you did go back to your original world, you'd likely never find a better match. Fili will do everything he can to make you happy, just as you will do the same for him. Now, mind, I'm not pushing you, but it really is better to stay away until you've decided. This is an unusual situation, but he's been holding out since the troll cave, so I think he can hold on a little longer. Now, come walk with me and Balin, we both have to say a prayer to Mahal tonight, and then I need to add a braid and bead to your hair."

Fili was incredibly nervous. He just couldn't let it go any longer with Bec not knowing how he felt. Now it was agony waiting on her decision. When he heard Dwalin announce that he was adopting her, his stomach dropped. One of the final parts of dwarrow courting was that each couple had to win a spar against either their intended's father, or head of family, in order to show that they could protect their One just as well as their family. Either way, he was screwed, going up against Balin or Dwalin. He groaned out load. Kili was curious, and came over.

"What's wrong, Nadad? Did you find an injury you didn't realise you had?"

"No, Nadadith, I just realised that if Bec accepts my courtship, I will have to fight either Balin or Dwalin."

Kili started to snicker at his brother's misfortune, but he quickly stopped, turning an odd shade of grey.

"Mahal's balls, I've got to win against Dori!"

Now both of the brothers were nervous, thinking about their looming losses. At least Dwalin had to defeat Dori as well.

There was a good aspect to Bec being adopted. It meant that she had more than likely decided to stay, if she could. This was a good sign for Fili in the long run, because she would also be seriously considering him. It would be hard, but now would be the time to leave her alone, with only a few small gestures, to make up her mind. Fili looked at his scarf thoughtfully. All dwarrow knew that a handcrafted gift was the only type of gift permitted during courting, what type of gift could he make, or re-make that would show his intentions?

For the next few days, it seemed like the whole company held their breath. All races knew that the first gifts were the most important. They showed how the suitor viewed their intended, and what their life might be like together. Something poorly made, or using cheap materials indicated a lack of respect and indicated that supporting a family was not in the suitor's interest, and even though they were travelling, the standards would still be upheld.

Dwalin and Balin were keeping their new family member busy, while the rest took bets on what Fili's gift would be. After Fili had borrowed thread from Dori, Dori, Ori, Kili and Bofur bet that it would be clothing of some kind. Nori and Gloin believed it would be a money purse. When it was discovered that he had parchment as well, Bilbo, Bombur, Oin and Bifur thought that it would be a recipe book, or journal. Gandalf and Thorin declined to bet, although they both thought they had a pretty good idea of what the gift would be.

Finally, it was ready. Fili took a deep breath before approaching Dwalin.

" _Dwalin son of Fundin. I have come before you with a gift for your daughter. This gift represents the esteem I hold her in, and the life I hope to give her. Am I permitted to give this gift to your beloved child?_ " As he spoke the ancient Khuzdul words, his voice shook slightly.

Dwalin looked him over, and nodded solemnly, although he was trying to hide a smile. Fili moved to stand before Bec, kneeling and presenting her with a dagger.

"Rebecca daughter of Dwalin, I come before you with a gift to pay you court. Knowing this gift brings no obligation upon you, will you accept it?" This time Fili spoke in Common.

Bec looked at him for a long held moment, then glanced at her new father. Dwalin gave her an encouraging nod, so she smiled, and started slowly speaking.

"Fili, Prince of the Line of Durin, son of Vili, I will accept this offering in the spirit it is intended. Please explain your gift in its entirety, for all here to bear witness at its suitability."

Fili let out a relieved sigh. "This dagger is one that I have crafted myself. As we are on a journey, it has not been forged for you as a demonstration of _my_ skill, but a promise to protect you, and I am offering it to you now in acknowledgement of your ability to defend yourself and fight for others. There are runes engraved on the blade, calling on Mahal himself to protect and bless the bearer of the dagger. The handle is made of gold and silver, and represents my ability to provide for you, and any children that we may be blessed with. Finally, I have made you a sheathe and belt from my own leather jacket, and stitched them by hand, to prove that in the hard times, I will take from myself to provide for you. Is this gift suitable?"

The company was all shocked at the depth of thought and effort the young prince had managed in three days. Dwalin was moved by his speech, and Bec had tears in her eyes. She gently took the dagger from Fili, and pressed her forehead to his for a few precious seconds. She pulled away and tried to gather herself.

"Your gift is accepted, Fili son of Vili. Please allow me some more time, to be sure of my own heart. I am sorry if this is not the response you were hoping for, but it is the best that I can give at this moment."

Fili nodded, bowed and walked back to sit with his uncle and brother.

Bec was stunned. Fili's gift had been the most thoughtful and romantic gift she had ever received. Her chest hurt at his walking away, but she still wasn't 100% sure. After everything she had gone through, not only did she need to know, but Fili also deserved someone completely devoted to him. She just needed to convince herself that in this case, history would not repeat itself.

Dwalin came and settled back next to her, with Balin doing the same on her other side. "That lad always manages to surprise me. That was an excellent first courting gift. You know the courting braid is not very difficult. Of course, you'd need a bead first…"

Bec looked at him. "You know that I can't forge, what are you getting at?"

Balin chimed in. "You can't forge, but we can teach you to make a bead from a gem. Dwalin and I both have a pouch full that you can use, or you can find something yourself."

While Balin and Dwalin both sat smoking, Bec was deep in thought. She knew, it was not in Fili's nature to cheat or lie. If he said she was his One, that was it. She just needed the courage to accept it. She needed to carve a bead!

In the days between arriving at Beorn's and Fili's gift, Bec practiced carving gems furiously on the semi-precious stones her father and uncle gave her, and they proudly were her first efforts. Once she had the shape down, she worked on carving runes, a much harder task. Bifur walked next to her one day and offered her a small clamp that she could use to hold her bead steady, and in the afternoon, Dori offered her an eyeglass. The afternoon before they arrived at Beorn's she had the runes she wanted to carve down to a science. Now, she just had to do the real thing.

Bec tried not to laugh at Bilbo's offended look when Beorn called him little bunny, but her humour was quickly wiped away when Beorn noticed her.

"Oho, we have a little lady as well." He bent down and picked her up. Once he held her at eye level on his giant hand, she brandished her little dagger at him.

"I'm sure you're a very nice skin changer, Master Beorn. I don't like being touched without permission from people I don't know however. So, I'm going to ask you once, nicely, to put me back down. After that, I _will_ resort to…less pleasant methods."

Luckily Beorn laughed instead of taking offense, although Bec trying to threaten him at all was rather funny.

"Not a little lady at all, but a hissing cat! Come then, even dwarves must eat."

With a pat on the head, he set her down, and walked inside his house.

After Bec had eaten her fill, she wandered off to find a quiet spot to carve. Just as she got settled, a voice spoke up from behind her.

"How long will you make my sister-son wait, daughter of Dwalin?"

She jumped, and hid her bead underneath her hands. "Only as long as it takes me to make a courtship bead in return, my lord. Fili's gift was beautiful, both in intention and physically, and I need to do the same. Even though I was not born a dwarrowdam, I will respect your traditions as if I was. I'm just a little slower…I _have_ only just learned to carve gems."

Thorin graced her with a rare smile. "If you are going to accept Fili, then you might as well get used to calling me Uncle, Bec."

Bec sighed. "I will call you Uncle, if you give that bead you're fingering to Bilbo tonight. You can do it, before I give mine to Fili. Deal?"

This time, Thorin actually chuckled. "You're very observant, as long as it doesn't concern you. You caught me, I was planning to ask him tonight. I just didn't want to rub it in Fili's nose, if you hadn't decided."

"Well, as you have found out, can you go and keep everyone away, so I can concentrate on finishing this? If I keep getting interrupted, it will not be done before nightfall."

Thorin agreed, walking back to the house. Bec sighed, stretched her shoulders and back, and got back to work.

Unsurprisingly, a blushing Bilbo accepted the bead, and even gave Thorin one of his own, made from oak, and coated in lacquer. He apologised for it not being metal, or even stone, but Thorin declared it a perfect meld of their cultures and asked him to braid it in straight away. Bec's attention drifted to a forlorn looking Fili, and feeling a twinge in her chest, got up and moved in front of Thorin.

" _Thorin son of Thrain son of Thror, King under the Mountain. I have come before you with a gift for your heir. This gift represents the esteem I hold him in, and the life I hope to give him. Am I permitted to give this gift to your beloved heir?_ " Bec stumbled slightly through the Khuzdul she had memorized, although each time she said it, she understood a little more.

Thorin looked at her in respect before glancing at a hopeful Fili, and nodding. She stepped over to Fili, and knelt in front of him.

"Fili son of Vili, I come before you with a gift to pay you court. Knowing this gift binds us in courtship, will you accept it?"

Fili nodded, responding as quickly as he could. "Rebecca, champion of Mahal, daughter of Dwalin, I will accept this gift in the spirit it is intended. Please explain your gift in it's entirety, for all here to bear witness at its suitability."

The entire company gasped, shocked, when Bec revealed the bead carved of rainbow moonstone. Fili gave a quick glance at her neck, and noticed a missing pendant.

"The bead is one that I have shaped and engraved myself. The runes ask for Mahal's blessing and protection. In accordance with my own faith, I have performed a moonlight ritual, asking for protection and prosperity from the God and Goddess. This bead is made from a stone from my own world, called Rainbow Moonstone. It is a stone of love, fertility and travellers. It provides psychic protection, calms sleep and disperses negative energies. In giving you this bead, I show my willingness to learn the things I do not know, my desire for a family, and that I will take from myself to make sure that you are cared for. Is this gift suitable?"

Fili reached out a shaking hand to accept the bead. "Only if you braid it in, khalthûna."

With a cheer, the entire company surged forwards. In the chaos, Fili snuck a quick kiss, before hugging Bec tightly. "Until my dying breath, I will keep you happy and cherish you as the blessing you are."

Bec wiped her teary eyes, returning the embrace. "I'm sorry that I took so long, I just needed to be sure of myself. You were never going to be the reason I said no. I do have the perfect pet name for you though, kundel."

When Fili blinked at her, she laughed. "I know your family calls you little lion, but in my world, male lions are lazy, and don't really do anything. To me, you are the protective wolf, not yet the alpha, but ready to step up and protect the pack all the same."

As the night dissolved into noisy celebration, Fili and Bec sat next to each other the entire night, and when they finally went to bed, she curled up beside him with a happy sigh.


	10. Healing, courting and planning

Chapter 9 – Healing, courting, and (attempting) to plan a route.

Thorin was not wounded too badly now, with Gandalf's magic healing his life-threatening wounds, but he still needed to rest and heal for at least a fortnight. Luckily, when he saw how Bilbo reacted to him trying to get up and move, he was appropriately terrified, and promised to behave…as long as Bilbo looked after him. Thorin relished in the disgusted cries from Kili telling him to stop tainting his 'Auntie Bilbo', and simply sat back and watched a disgruntled hobbit chase his youngest nephew around the room with a brush.

"OW! That hurts, Auntie! YEOWCH!"

Bilbo was now smacking Kili lightly with the brush every time he squirmed, or called him Auntie.

"You can call me Uncle, if you like Kili. And of course it hurts, it looks like you haven't brushed it since the night I met you! What have you been doing?" Bilbo was one very exasperated hobbit.

Bec slipped over to sit beside him, and leaned over to whisper in his ear. He slowly started smiling, then turned Kili to look at him.

"Kili, I have it on good authority that you are a fan of apple pie. Is this true?"

Kili nodded, looking at Bilbo suspiciously.

"Well, if you brush your hair every night, and call me Uncle, instead of Auntie, I will make you your very own personal apple pie once a week. No one else will be allowed to touch it, but if you forget to brush your hair, or call me Auntie, your pie will be pushed back 3 hours. How does that sound?"

Bilbo got bowled over by an excited Dwarrow, who was doing his very best imitation of a dwarfling. Eventually Ori had to go and rescue Bilbo, as he couldn't seem to shake the excited Kili.

Bec and Bilbo had put their heads together, as they both wanted to take the next step in their respective courtships, with a Hobbit twist. They were going to cook their best dishes for their intendeds, while Bombur took care of the rest of the company. In deference to Beorn, Bec had pulled the big man aside and explained her bag of never-ending supplies. Once Beorn had realised that no animals in Middle Earth had been killed, he was…not happy, but still allowed the company to use the meat. Bilbo had already planned out his meal, which had five courses. The first course was three miniature pies, with different fillings – pork mince and apple sauce; beef mince and red wine gravy; and chicken mince with a spicy red sauce that he refused to part with. The second course was a pea and ham soup, with a crusty bread roll, while the third was a small tomato, stuffed with bacon, cheese and mince. Fourth was Bilbo's mother's roast chicken, with his father's maple roasted vegetables. Finally, the fifth course was a lovely cake that Bec thought looked exactly like a Queen Victoria sponge. Bec meanwhile, had to sit down and think. She knew so many recipes, but what would her best be, that would also represent who she was as a person? She already knew that there would be as much meat as possible, to honour the dwarrow dietary needs. She kept thinking while looking through her bag for ideas, and came upon something that made her smile like the cat that got the canary.

The company had been getting hungrier and hungrier from the smells coming from the kitchen, and any attempts to see what was being made were violently rebuffed, even Gandalf and Beorn! Finally, Bilbo came out with a small plate that he set in front of Thorin, while Bec did the same in front of Fili. Then they both stepped back, while Bilbo began to speak.

"It is a part of Hobbit courtships that both intended cook for each other, in order to show their love, care and respect, as cooking a five course meal, even for two people takes patience, skill and a level head, as well as excellent timing. Bec has decided to use this tradition as well, as it is similar to a very, very old tradition of her mother's family. For myself, these recipes have been passed down through both sides of my family for generations. My first course is a trio of mince pies with different fillings."

Bec spoke up. "In my original world, there are numerous countries, with very different styles of food, and there are not many family specific meals anymore. That said, some of my meals are from my family, some I have created myself, and one or two are borrowed from other nationalities, but all in this case can be considered original to me, here. My first course is prawns, fried in butter and garlic."

With that, they both whipped the covers off the plates, and stood back while Thorin and Fili examined their meals. Kili tried to reach over to grab a prawn, but was quickly sent away with a wooden spoon on the back of his hand from Bec. Thorin had eaten the spicy pie first, on Bilbo's recommendation, followed by the beef and then the pork. He seemed very happy, although he requested that a less spicy sauce be used next time, until he had built some tolerance.

Fili, meanwhile, was trying to determine what a prawn was. Once Bec leaned forward and explained that it was a type of seafood, and very popular in her country, he nodded decisively, and bravely put one in his mouth. His eyes drifted shut as he chewed, making happy noises. Pleased with their success, the pair left to get the next course. Thorin was very happy with his pea and ham soup, while Bec had prepared a Mussaman curry, knowing that it was fairly mild, and she could disguise some well-chosen vegetable in it. The rest of the company moaned at seeing more lovely dishes they couldn't touch, but then Bombur and Beorn's servants came out with a lovely lasagne that he had tried, with a vegetable version for Beorn, in thanks. After that, they were happy enough.

Bec had prepared field mushrooms stuffed with a mix of mince, bacon, cheese and egg, which she also caught Bilbo eyeing off. Both meals were a hit, but poor Thorin and Fili were starting to look a bit stuffed, so Bec put the next course on hold while she introduced the younger company members to twister, and started a game of poker with the older. A happy half hour passed, and then Bilbo and Bec disappeared to put the finishing touches on their mains. Bilbo needed help carrying the platter with the roast dinner on it, while Bec held a jug of gravy for him. Then he and Kili helped Bec to bring out a grilled salmon, which had a hollandaise sauce on it, and steamed beans, broccoli and cauliflower. Bec had also included some very thick cut, lightly spiced wedges. Once again the rest of the company drooled, and Bec finally gave into Kili's whine and Ori's puppy dog eyes, giving them a bowl of wedges and gravy to share.

Finally, the time had come for dessert. Bilbo's came out first, a towering three tier high sponge cake dusted in sugar, with fresh cream and fruit, which Thorin absolutely demolished. Bec was next, with her secret weapon, a Tim tam cheesecake, drizzled in more chocolate. She had found out that Middle Earth didn't appear to have chocolate, for even Bilbo had never tasted any! Luckily, she had a comprehensive stash in her bag before the Valar kidnapped her, along with a full tin of Dutch cocoa that she used for hot chocolate while camping. Knowing how big the Dwarrow's sweet tooth was, she was certain that even had she not been Fili's One, her place would have been assured in Erebor, just to keep the chocolate! Fili stared in wonder, having never seen the like of this dessert before, before cautiously trying a small piece. His eyes widened, and he cut off half the cake, trying to cram it in his mouth at once. When everyone stared at him, Bec brought out small miniature versions she had made with the left over cheesecake mixture. When the commotion had died down, she said that she was labelling the main ingredient a family secret, but that she would happily make chocolate desserts once a week. Of course, she planned on using the chocolate more with Fili, but that would have to wait until they were married. Until then, she fed Fili the last piece with her fingers, wickedly enjoying the desire in his eyes.

After everyone had finished dessert, Bec set up her laptop and was trying to decide what to show the company. She knew she wanted to show them another TV. show, she just couldn't decide which one. Fili noticed her frown, and came to sit beside her.

"What is making you frown so, khalthûna?"

Bec looked across at him, and bit her lip. "I can't decide what show to put on. I've got more than a few that would still probably shock you lot. I'm tossing up between Castle and Xena. Wanna help me decide?"

Fili just smiled. "Anything for you. Why don't you describe them to me?"

"Hmm. Castle is set in my time, in a large city, and is focused on an author who writes crime novels, and the police officer that he shadows to use as inspiration. Xena is set in…well, it starts in Ancient Greece and then moves to Rome…um, my point is, that its closer to the type of life here, and involves a female warrior, trying to atone for evil, and various gods and goddesses. Either one I'd probably be pausing and explaining a fair bit, but they're both pretty good."

"I like the sound of the second one, I think everyone might enjoy something that isn't quite so foreign to them."

Bec rubbed her nose against his, and selected the right episode. Once everyone was settled, she settled back against a post, and Fili put his head in her lap. Dwarrow really were very affectionate in private…well, whenever they weren't around outsiders. Bec started playing with his hair, tugging lightly on his braids. When he looked up at her, she smirked and gently pulled one of his moustache braids, before looking back at the screen. The dwarrow all seemed to love Xena, but were also very fond of Ares. She knew that she would show them the Hercules series after they had finished Xena, they would love it.

After a few episodes, Ori turned around wanting to know if Bec's world still believed in these gods and goddesses. Bec tried her best to explain about Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, Islam and Buddhism, but she got the feeling that she just confused them more. In the end, she said that many different cultures started out worshipping deities based on nature and human nature, but new religions focusing on one God and patriarchy came along and supplanted them. She added on that she was technically pagan, and until Mahal and Yavanna came for her had believed in a divine male and female presence that she called the Lady and the Lord, but when the Valar were able to take her from her world so easily, she now doubted that there were any divine figures watching over her world. It made her a little sad to think about, all the fighting about religion, but even here there were still wars and hate and violence, just about different things.

To get out of the melancholy mood, Bec introduced the dwarves to Disney, specifically the Lion King and then Aladdin; Bec loudly and proudly sang along to all of the songs, complete with very corny dance moves, that she made Kili do with her. She was laughing breathlessly by then end, and then Kili demanded that she play another movie for them. She thought for a few seconds, and then put on Mulan. The dwarrow all loved it, especially because it made Bec smile happily. She got up again to sing and dance to 'I'll Make a Man out of You', although this time, she dragged Fili up, to jeers from Nori and Bofur about how he should prove to her he was a man. Fili laughed good naturedly, knowing that Dori would stop his brother and One soon. Sure enough, twin yelps were heard, with a furious Dori scolding them afterwards for ruining a lovely moment.

Bec laughed, collapsing onto a smiling Fili. She stuck her nose in his neck, gaining a very high squeal from him.

"Keep your cold nose to yourself, khalthûna!"

She giggled, before telling Ori that all he had to do was close the lid of the laptop, and that they were welcome to explore her laptop even if she wasn't awake, but she wouldn't be held responsible for anything they found. Having been responsible enough, she curled up into Fili's side, and drifted off. She didn't even wake when he picked her up and carried her to the bedrolls, much, much later that night.

When Bec woke the next morning, she just lay there for a few minutes, sending a mental thankyou to Mahal and Yavanna for choosing her. She snuggled in closer to Fili, and thinking he was still asleep, kissed his shoulder.

"As much as I like you doing that, khalthûna, if anyone sees you, we'll both get in trouble." A very sleepy Fili was smiling down at her.

She blushed at being caught, and kissed Fili on the cheek.

"I know, but it's your turn next. Are you going to get the fight with Dwalin over with? I was talking with Balin, and he said that the only times that he has heard of courtship taking more than three months after acceptance was when the pair didn't know each other at all. Apart from a gift from each other, and the fight, there aren't really any other official steps. I know everyone wants to wait until Erebor is won, but I'd really like to be able to be as affectionate as I'd like with you. Plus, I think that Thorin wants you to go first, so he can have an excuse to go all out with me, to gauge how good I actually am, especially after Bilbo and I killed Azog. Hey, that could be considered another courting gift from me, getting rid of someone who wanted to kill you. Yay, me!"

She giggled and snuggled into his hug.

"Are you going to pull any more sneaky tricks on my uncle, dear one? You'll have to wait at least a week, before Bilbo will let him anyway."

"I don't know about sneaky, kundel, but I certainly haven't shown all of my tricks yet. I still have a few left."

They stopped talking after that, just enjoying holding each other, knowing that they would be happy as long as they had each other.

When Bec noticed how much Thorin detested not being able to move, she decided to give him her iPad to play with. She showed him candy crush, and it kept him amused for a few hours. When he threatened to break the 'demon-spawn' machine, she swapped the iPad out for her laptop, and showed him the first season of Supernatural. She had the volume loud, so he could hear it over the noise of the rest of the company, which meant that when Mary screamed, the rest of the company rushed over to see what was wrong. Bec huffed, she really liked this show, especially the early seasons, and they were ruining her enjoyment. She paused the show, and demanded that they sit down, relax and watch while she restarted the episode, or go away, and be quiet. To her surprise, all of the company sat down. Dori noticed confusion and explained that they had all decided to take the next three days very easily, just resting really to regain their lost strength. With how long they would be staying with Beorn, it would be silly not to take time to recover as much as they could, and their skills would not disappear within the span of a fortnight. Bec and the company happily settled down to watch at least the first season.

Within three episodes, Bec was regretting introducing Supernatural to Middle Earth. All of the dwarrow agreed that John was right to seek revenge, but they were very loud in their anger at how he raised his children. They loved Dean and Sam, but had divided on the issues dividing the brothers. Unsurprisingly, all of the elder brothers within the company sided with Dean, but Bilbo, Nori and Bifur, along with the younger brothers had sided with Sam. There had been a vert loud argument, before Bec had sat them down, and explained that just like here, some family members were too similar to get along well, which was the case with John and Sam, and there were many options in her world besides fighting. Once the dwarrow had thought about it for a while, they agreed that they could understand the other points of view. It helped when Bec pointed out that Sam had been sheltered from his father's life as much as possible, and thus didn't have as much of an understanding as Dean. The dwarrow were all still predominantly siding with one brother or the other, but now they kept their comments confined to the screen. As an elder sibling herself, Bec had always sided with Dean anyway, and had many times thought over how the family had splintered, and seen how it could have applied to any family. With this crisis averted, Bec happily snuggled into Fili, enjoying watching her new family and friends get frustrated over the same situations that she had. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Bofur and Gloin with their heads together. She knew they were getting closer to figuring out a gun prototype, she just hoped they didn't blow a hand off actually attempting to make one. Now that she thought of it though, she should talk to them about making nail and scrap metal bombs for her when they took Erebor. Combined with the speed of her bike, zipping through the orc ranks and leaving a few behind seemed like a very solid plan, especially since she now had a silent engine. They wouldn't hear anything before it was too late. Resolving to talk to them before they left, she turned her attention back to Fili and the screen.

Later, she pulled the elusive wizard aside, and after assuring him that she knew what he needed to do in Mirkwood, also told him that he needed to either spell something before hand to get rid of the dragon's curse, or hurry after he had finished to get their before the Men did. Gandalf looked shocked for a second, but Bec then told him that she would negate all the other factors, and the curse was the only remaining risk to the company getting goldsickness, as all dwarrow were prone to it. Gandalf agreed, and four days later gave her bag containing gold dust. All she needed to do, he told her, was after the dragon was defeated, get to the highest point within the treasury, and scatter the gold dust as far as she could. It would immediately work to weaken and dampen the dragon affected gold, until Gandalf himself could arrive. Failing that, she was to block the door going in, and not let any of the dwarrow in until after he got there. Happier now that there was a proper plan, Bec thanked him, and wandered away to limber up. Fili had already beaten Dwalin, and the other fights had been successful as well. It was now only her fight against Thorin that impeded her courtship, and she would not let it stand for long.

Thorin, while still looking more than a bit pale, had been pronounced in fine health by Oin that morning. As Bec's remaining 'tricks' required a fair amount of flexibility, she needed to stretch a bit more than usual, as she had not attempted some of them in some time, and never before with any kind of weapon. Finally, she deemed herself ready, and stepped into the makeshift sparring ring. An amused Beorn watched on with the company, wanting to see what the hissing cat could do.

"Thorin, Uncle to my intended, and Head of his Family, I come before you to prove my worth in battle. I will be his Shield in times of Strife, and his Sword when he cannot defend himself. I will protect him always, to the best of my abilities, using all that I am."

Thorin smiled, very faintly, before replying.

"Daughter of Dwalin, to prove your worth, you shall best me in battle, to show that you can protect my heir better than myself. Come at me with all you have."

With that said, there was a beat of silence. Bec took a deep breath, and settled into a defensive stance, waiting for Thorin to make the first move. As he took a step towards her, he raised his sword slightly, and Bec spun, striking backwards towards his stomach with the butt of her staff. He parried, trying to flick her staff away. Bec let him, and when he was distracted watching it, stepped forward and punched him twice in the diaphragm. He coughed, and doubled over, while swinging his sword out to ward her off. She bent back, more than parallel to the ground, and then managed a backflip to get away. When she landed, she heard the gasps from the dwarrow, as being a very inflexible race, they would not have been able to attempt the move. Bec picked up her staff, and watched Thorin warily, the end of the staff planted firmly in the dirt. As Thorin charged her, she changed her grip, and using the leverage from her staff, planted both feet into the charging King's chest. She landed on top of him with a quiet oof, trying to pin him down. When he bucked her off, she knew that he wouldn't yield while she was using her staff. With a grin, she used him to flip off of, earning a groan from him, and more gasps. She threw her staff away, and drew the dagger that Fili had given her. When Thorin looked approving, she knew she had made the right choice. This time, Bec charged Thorin, dropping to slide beneath his sword and behind him. She popped up, and put her dagger to his throat. "Yield."

Chuckling, Thorin threw Orcrist down. "I thought I had seen all your tricks, champion, but that reminded me of the warrior from the program last night. I am surprised you didn't use the same war cry."

Bec grinned. "Oh, that I'm saving for a real battle, along with a few other tricks. Those tricks however, are deadly ones, so not really appropriate to use here."

All of a sudden, Bec was grabbed and lifted into the air by a joyous Fili. Just before he took her out of earshot, Bec yelled to Thorin. "We need to discuss the route to Erebor when I come back, I think I have a way to help!"

That was all she could get out before she was around the barn, and being lowered to the floor.

"I know I shouldn't khalthûna, but just this once, I am going to kiss you properly, because you surely deserve it after defeating my Uncle."

With that, Fili tightened his grip on her neck, and gave her the sweetest kiss she had ever known. When he made to move away, she used her leverage on his shoulders to hold him tight. She nipped his bottom lip, and smiled when he groaned, crushing her against him. When she licked his lip, to soothe the sting, he kissed her passionately, tongue dancing with hers. Knowing that if he continued she wouldn't stop him, and not wanting him to dishonour his traditions, she changed the kiss back to gentle and sweet, finally pulling back, and resting her forehead on his, and looking lovingly into his eyes. Seeing them blown wide in desire gave her a thrill, that she could cause such a reaction in the attractive dwarrow, and she smiled at him, still panting a little.

"I do love you, darling kundel, more than I ever thought possible. I am so glad that I was the one chosen by your God. I guess he and Yavanna are my God and Goddess, they answered all of my prayers."

With a hint of his devilish smirk, Fili replied, "I will love you, even in the Halls of Waiting, khalthûna, and I will love you beyond the rebuilding of Arda, in all of my incarnations. I will forever thank Mahal and Yavanna for blessing me with you as the other half of my soul."

Just as Bec started to get teary-eyed, and lean in again, a voice came from the front of the barn.

"Uncle sent me to make sure you weren't doing anything you shouldn't. Is it safe to come around, Nadad?"

Fili sighed, and walked back around the front. When Kili saw them, he smiled.

"You might want to fix your braids, Nadad, they have mysteriously become very messy." He walked off, sniggering, while Bec started re-braiding and finger combing Fili's hair.

When Bec sat down with Thorin that night, they discussed using the old forest road through Mirkwood. It would mean that they would come out further from Erebor, but with the Eagles help they could afford the delay. The old forest road was more of a 500m or so gap that had been carved through the forest, so the company would be able to see trouble coming. They would not have a river to stop at until they reached the end, but the forest's influence was also nearly non-existent in this gap. It would also pay heed to their newly worked out story that they were travelling back to the Iron Hills for a wedding, as their path would not appear to go anywhere near Erebor. Plus having a young dam in their party would hopefully make the elves leave them alone. In addition, taking the old forest road should only take them three or four days at most. Bec knew that with Sauron in Dol Goldur all of the orcs and goblins would be there, and the road would be clear, especially since the elves did not care for it. While the marshes may be a problem, a private talk with Beorn had assured her that they were not too big, and as long as they followed the river down, instead of trying to cross, they would be fine. Once they were past the forest, Bec intended them to bypass Laketown and Dale completely, as they did not need to supplies, and get a small camp set up near the door, ready to go.

With everything organised, they spent the last week resting, with even more weight lifted once Beorn offered ponies, as long as they let them go either at the edge of the river, or the first sign of a fight. Since Bec knew that Beorn would follow them to make sure, she happily agreed, sighing in relief, and hoping that things would go as planned. Even with the ponies, walking back down to Erebor would put them back on the original time-line, with no room for any mistakes.


	11. A lovely stroll that ends with a dragon

Chapter 10 – A lovely stroll that ends with a dragon.

On their last day, Bec had an epiphany, and managed to convince Gandalf to talk to the whole company about how dangerous the treasury would be until he arrived to break the dragon's curse. In order to drive the point home, Bec then showed the company the very first Pirates of the Caribbean, the Curse of the Black Pearl. The first time the gold was mentioned she paused and went back, just to drive her point home.

"Smaug's curse won't turn you into undead skeleton's, it is worse. It will make your race's weakness towards good sickness much worse. You will not eat or sleep, or recognise family from enemy. This part I can tell you, in your story in my world, this happened. I am begging all of you, as my family now, to stay away from the treasury, please."

Bec looked so desperate that every single dwarrow solemnly swore to stay away from the treasury until Gandalf arrived. She was glad with their agreement, because if she had to, she would knock every last one out until Gandalf could get there. She figured that with the ring and it's influence sealed and the Arkenstone gone, it should keep the rest of the dwarrow being too affected, they didn't get the sickness all that badly, but she would have to keep an eye on Thorin, and prepare Dwalin and Dori to keep him away by force, as they were two of the least affected, as well as the strongest in the company.

With her plans finally settled, Bec turned her attention to enjoying Jack Sparrow, one of her favourite characters…and first movie crush to be honest. That got her thinking. Fili noticed her glazed stare, and poked her.

"What are you thinking about that gives you that look, dear one?"

Bec blushed. "Um, well, this movie came out when I was 13, a teenager, or in your case, the really, really awkward stage in between childhood and being an adult, you know when your body physically starts changing from child to adult?"

Fili nodded.

"Well, this character, Jack Sparrow, not the actor who plays him, was my first real crush, um attraction, to another person. And I was thinking, you guys are a story in my world. Does that mean that the other stories and movies are real worlds as well, that somehow bleed through enough to get told? Then I got sidetracked by thinking that Jack Sparrow was real, and then all of the other really good looking characters might be real, and then my brain kind of exploded in hormones."

Bec bit her lip, and looked up at a very frowns Fili.

"Don't worry, kundel, you are my One and only. Even in my head just now, you were the last image in my mind, and what will come after Smaug is defeated, and everything is finished. I can't wait for our lives together to begin."

She hugged him, nuzzling into his neck, and while no-one was paying attention, nipped him. He jumped, with a light flush, which she found adorable.

"We should probably talk about how much experience we each have as well, sometime before the mountain, preferably out of earshot of both of our families."

Fili smiled. "I love you as well, khalthûna. We do need this conversation, although, I have the feeling that you may know of a lot more than I do, even if you haven't personally experienced it. Know this though, once we are wed, I will make it my personal quest to replace every thought of the characters with ones of me, even if we have to act out every fantasy you have."

Bec gaped, mentally fanning herself. She really lucked out with Fili, funny, smart, handsome, accepting and, most importantly for Bec, loyal. She knew she would spend the rest of her days making sure that she never did anything to harm him. She hugged him as tight as she could, and kissed him chastely on the lips, dimly aware of Dwalin watching to make sure she wasn't taken advantage of. She was going to take time on the walk through Mirkwood to really get to know her new family. She had plenty of time to get to know Kili and Thorin properly afterwards, but she wanted to build a proper relationship with her new father and uncle before they 'lost' her to Fili. In light of this, she kissed the corner of Fili's mouth, and whispered her thoughts to him, before getting up, and cuddling in between Dwalin and Balin.

"Tell me a story of my family, Uncle Balin."

Balin looked at her, and smiled, launching into a quiet tale of Dwalin stealing cookies from their Amad, and hiding until he'd eaten the whole batch, and then panicking and running to Balin when he got his first tummy ache. Bec could easily imagine a baby Dwalin stealing cookies, and collapsed in fits of giggles, Dwalin helping by tickling her.

A yell from Kili brought her a brief reprieve, attacking Dwalin on behalf of his almost namad, until eventually the entire company had joined in. It took a long time to finish, surprisingly, it was Kili who called a stop, on account of an empty stomach. Bec hoped, in her heart of hearts, that this joy could be found again, after all that was coming had passed.

They were three days into the forest when Dwalin broached the subject of previous lovers. He explained that none of it impacted her courting, but as her father, he wanted to know, so he could support her in the best way possible.

"If you're talking about actual physical lovers, then only my ex-husband. Even though I've been separated from him for over two and a half years, The emotional and mental damage he did meant that I wasn't comfortable finding another lover; I didn't feel worthy of love. I was actually in therapy and taking medicine for depression, although I was very lucky, I never got anywhere near feeling suicidal. I had two other relationships when I was a teenager, in high school and then just at the start of university…um I suppose it would be like an apprenticeship here. Those relationships never got to the physical aspect of romance though."

Dwalin nodded. "I'll be wanting to know more about this depression and damage later on, but for the moment, continue. What do you know about the physical aspect? Have you ever been blessed with children?"

Bec laughed. "No, I've never had children. When I first met Troy, I was too young, and children cost a lot in terms of raising them and keeping them healthy and happy. Towards the end, I was thinking about it, because I wanted to have kids before I got too old, but I didn't want to subject innocent children to the ruin of my marriage. As for the physical aspect, sexual education is pretty big in my world. In Australia, it starts around 11 or 12 at school, because that's when most children start puberty, um, start to transition from child to adult. We are taught about male and female bodies, and how growing up changes them, about sex and sexually transmitted diseases, as well as pregnancy. Plus, there's a lot of romantic and erotic fiction, so along with a healthy imagination, I can think of just about every scenario you can between a man and woman, man and man or woman and woman, and probably more. I know this may shock you, Dad, but I wanted you to know. I would like to eventually start a school, and sex education would be part of it. Are you mad?"

Dwalin looked thoughtful. He was silent for a long time, but it didn't feel like a bad silence.

"I can't say that I'm not shocked, or that what you want to do will be easy, but I think it will be a good idea in the long run. From the shows we've seen, your world is in some ways even more violent and terrible than ours, but you have good parts, just as we do. I believe that bringing mass education to our kind will only help in the long run, especially the poorer families. Your uncle will more than likely help you with everything you need, because that is something that he has been interested in for some time. I am glad for your knowledge, it means that neither of us have to try and stumble through that talk, or try and get Oin to do it. Do you want to have children in the future?"

Bec looked ahead at Fili and blushed. "At some point, but I'd like to lave Fili to myself at first, especially since multiple births run in my family. My sister and I are the unusual ones, because we were both single births, and !um and Dad didn't want to have anymore kids. I'll probably mature a bit more quickly than you're used to though, so I'd expect to be ready in a couple of years max. I used to think that I'd only want four kids at most, but if I'm going to live for around 250 years, give or take a decade or so, I can imagine being alright with having more than that. So don't worry, you'll be a grandpa!"

Dwalin (and Balin, who had ridden up beside him) laughed in delight. "I have no doubt lass, and it will be a novelty that won't soon wear off, I thought I'd never have children, let alone grandchildren!"

Nori, who had overheard, wailed in despair.

"No! I can deal with having a grown daughter, but I'm definitely too young and attractive to have grandchildren!"

He turned to shout to the front of the line. "Fili, come and tell your One that she can't make me a grandparent for another 50 years!"

Fili choked, and nearly fell off the saddle. A grinning Thorin (which was at the same time disturbing and endearing to see) yelled back, "As long as the next heir isn't conceived outside Erebor, I don't care when they have children. I'll just laugh and send the little ones to Poppy Nori for everything!"

Bec, Dwalin and Balin all roared with laughter. Bilbo piped up in the silence while everyone was catching their breath.

"Does that mean that you don't want any children Thorin? I was planning on two or three."

Thorin had the most comical look upon his face. "Bilbo, my love. Unless hobbits are built very differently from dwarrow, you're a male. Males can't have children with other males."

Bilbo frowned. "Of course we can. Yavanna just gives us our baby through a special garden instead."

Bec choked. "Holy shit, Bilbo! Are you telling me that the fucking cabbage patch kid theory is true when it comes to hobbits?"

"Since it sounds similar, except for actually being a cabbage patch, yes. Yavanna loves us all, and wants us to be happy, so when two males or two female hobbits fall in love and marry, they can choose to have children through Yavanna's blessing." He turned to Thorin. " This means, if you want to, we can have children." Next Bilbo turned to a humming Gandalf. "They all seem very shocked, is this something that Yavanna granted only to hobbits?"

Gandalf sighed. "No Bilbo. All races used to know how to do this, but one by one, they stopped listening to Yavanna, and in return, she removed their knowledge of her blessing, and how to perform it. Her youngest children, Hobbits, were the only ones who still listened to her, besides the Ents, so they kept the knowledge. Unfortunately, for some reason, her blessing cannot work for the Ents, so hobbits remained the only race to continue to produce children in this way. Perhaps, you are meant to bring knowledge of Yavanna and her blessing back to the dwarrow?"

The shocked dwarrow started thinking. This would solve so much of their population problem, but they imagined that if they took advantage of Yavanna again, they would not only have her angry, but their own creator as well.

Luckily, the company reached the marshes without any troubles, and released the ponies. Actually crossing the marsh was uncomplicated, although tedious and very messy. Sending a prayer to Mahal and Yavanna for this run of luck to continue, they started their long trek down the river.

Once they got to within sight of Laketown (and by sight, Thorin meant a smudge that they could see on the horizon), they started travelling at night, and hiding through the day, so as not to rouse the suspicion of the elves, or men. Just before they left the shadow of the forest for the open plain toward Dale, Bec had Bilbo write a message for Thranduil, for Gandalf to deliver on his way back. Gandalf turned back for Dol Goldur, and wished them luck with Smaug.

They made it all the way to the ruins of Dale, and then Balin realised that they were a day early. They hunkered down in a crumbling building, ready to move closer at dawn to begin their search.

That night, Bec made them all watch the Curse of the Black Pearl again, reminding them of their promise. They kicked up a fuss when they realised that Bec was planning on entering the mountain with Bilbo, but calmed down when she said it was part of Mahal's plan, and she would be protected by him.

Balin, Dwalin, Dori, Bifur, Oin and Thorin all told stories of their time in Erebor, sad, happy, funny, tales of love and friendship, fondly reminiscing, and making plans for the future. Fili planned on making intricate circlets for the royal family for everyday wear, rather than the horrendously heavy ones Thorin remembered. Dori wanted to open a tea shop, and wanted Bec and Bilbo to help him with the food aspect. Bombur, Nori, Ori, Oin and Gloin were already spoken for by Thorin, as the Royal Chef, Spymaster, Head Scribe/Librarian, Chief Healer and Royal Treasurer respectively. Kili wanted to create an archer division,carter Bec had given him his circle scarf, he had come up with the idea of using a mask of some sort on the lower face to protect the archer's beards. Hopefully, this would encourage more dwarrow to show interest in archery as a weapon, as many were not willing to cut their beards in order to shoot properly. Balin was torn between being Thorin's chief advisor, or helping Bec with the school, as both would be a full time job in the beginning, while Dwalin would be the royal families head guard, and oversee the guards of Erebor. Bifur and Bofur simply wanted to open toy shop again, instead of having to mine to make ends meet. Bec promised that all of her future children would always buy from them. With all of the talk of the future, Bec felt even more determined to keep everyone safe…no matter the cost.

Once again, Bilbo was the one to find the door, but this time, Bec waited with him for the moonlight. While they were alone, Bec outlined her plan for Smaug, and what she needed him to do. Bec recorded Bilbo speaking on her phone, and gave him the blue tooth speakers, to set up in different places in the treasury. There were four, and they were pretty loud, so Bec hoped that the taunting that she directed Bilbo in would make Smaug angry enough to try and roast the 'person' saying them. He would grab the Arkenstone to give to her, on the off chance that Smaug died before she could chuck it down his throat too, she would put it in another box from Yavanna, and ask for it to be destroyed as one of her boons. She was hoping that the confusion the recordings would create would allow Bilbo to get it to her first. They both had one of Gloin and Bofur's bomb prototypes, they would be the last thing Smaug ever swallowed. Bec doubted that the Wyrm was armoured inside.

The door creaked open, and the company quietly cheered. Having said their goodbyes beforehand, just in case, Bilbo and Bec slipped inside.

Bec stayed on her high perch while Bilbo quietly snuck around, placing the speakers. Just as he placed the last one, he spied something that looked like it was glowing. He quietly picked it up, and tiptoed back to the stairs that Bec was on, and put the Arkenstone in its box. Bec then grabbed a handful of jewels, and one by one, threw them to different points around the room. Sure enough, the treasure started to shift.

"Well thief, I smell you. I hear your breath. I feel your air. Where are you?"

Since their goal was to get him as annoyed as possible, there was none of the flowery language that Bilbo used in the book or movie. Bec turned her phone to full volume, pressed play, and prayed to Yavanna and Mahal for protection.

"SMAUG THE MIGHTY? More like Smaug the stupid! Smaug the fat! Smaug the lazy slug! I am fire and death, and I have been waiting for you to wake, so I can kill you, and take your hoard for my own!"

Smaug looked enraged. "A spineless hiding drakeling dares to try and usurp me? Show yourself to me! I will turn you to ash where you stand!"

After some more taunting, Smaug's chest started glowing, and Bec put the part of her plan that she hadn't explained to Bilbo or the company into action.

She stepped forward, and screamed.

"I came to find my family! Instead I find a fat slug who isn't fit to be called a dragon anymore. I should pull your wings off, and you can truly be a worm!"

He opened his jaw, ready to start spewing fire. Bec prayed for good aim, and threw the first box, containing the ring. Smaug didn't notice, so she threw the second one in, and then threw herself out of the way. The radiant heat still blasted her, but thanks to Mahal and his idea of 'durability' it only looked like a bad sunburn.

"What have you done? Witch! Whore! I have killed my master! Where are you hiding, vermin?"

Bec popped out once more.

"Right here, you fucking dumbarse! Guess your fire isn't as hot as you thought it was! Are you having performance issues? I hear it happens to men all the time, why should a male dragon be any different? Oh shiiiiiiiiit!"

The last was screamed as she simultaneously threw her bomb and Bilbo's while diving out of the way. Bilbo had lit the fuses, before handing the. To her while she was 'conversing'. Bec scrambled behind a pillar, curling around Bilbo, while Smaug paused, surprised.

"Well, that can't be –"

Smaug couldn't say anything more, as he exploded. Quite literally. All over the treasure.

Bec poked her head out, and looked at a go smacked Bilbo.

"I'm pretty sure they'll stay out of here until Gandalf comes."

Bilbo just stared at her, and then collapsed into hysterical giggles.

"You do realise, I'm telling Dwalin and Fili all about this afterward? You're never going to be left alone again! Honestly, swearing at a dragon!"

Bec just winked at him. "If it can piss of Lindir, I knew it could piss off Smaug!"

Remembering Gandalf's gold dust, she pulled out a handful and blew it across the gold. Her and Bilbo climbed up into all the high spots, blowing the gold dust all over the treasure, until every inch was covered. Satisfied, Bec pulled out the replacement Arkenstone, and gave it to Bilbo. In this case, instead of a curse, it held a joint blessing from Mahal and Yavanna for the protection and health of all who resided in the mountain. This made their stone glow as well. All that remained was to give it to Thorin, and let the company in, who Bec had made hide close to the front gates.


	12. Films, Gandalf and Thranduil

Chapter 11 – Some long awaited film watching, Gandalf arrives, and Thranduil is treated like the 3 year old he acts like.

It took Bec and Bilbo longer to open the doors than to kill Smaug. There was a very complicated pulley system, but part of the rope had rotted away, so they had to climb up and replace it with tent ropes from Bec's bags, and then they both had to pull to get the door moving. Once it was open just enough for Bombur to slide through, Bec went out, and started looking for the company.

She discovered them behind a statue, discussing plans to storm through the hidden doorway and rescue the two missing. Bec laughed.

"We don't need rescuing from anything but boredom! Now hurry up and come inside. Just a heads up, you definitely don't want to go anywhere near the treasure room, there's smoking bits of Smaug all over it."

The dwarrow groaned in disgust.

"You mean there's stinky dragon parts covering all of Erebor's precious treasures? What did you and Bilbo do?"

That was a disgusted looking Kili. Bec grinned at him.

"Come inside, and I'll tell you all about it…" Bec now started backing away, slowly coaxing the company into following her.

Once the company got inside, there were many suspiciously damp eyes, and reminicsing, in what Bec and Bilbo assumed were the Royal kitchens. The hobbit and champion, plus Bombur cooked up a wonderful feast while the older dwarrow were telling stories to a wide-eyed younger set, now able to fully imagine the scope of the splendour they were talking about. Once the food was on the table, there was little talking for a long while. When Thorin was full, he turned to Bilbo.

"What happened, dear one? How did you kill Smaug?"

Bilbo quickly swallowed. "Well, it was Bec's idea, I'm guessing based on something I did in her world. She climbed to a high point, and I placed speakers in different locations around the room. Then I climbed back up, and Bec threw bits of treasure at the biggest pile until the wyrm woke. Then she used the speakers to disorientate him, until he went to start breathing fire. Then Bec threw a box down his throat, I'm not sure what it was, something we found in he goblin tunnels. He choked a little, screaming about killing his master. Bec stepped out from hiding, and taunted him directly to distract him, and after he tried to roast her, threw both of Gloin and Bofur's prototype bombs down his gullet. He exploded. The end. Then we sprinkled a spell that Gandalf have her to stop the curse on the treasure increasing, so he can break it as soon as he gets here. The end."

Dwalin and Fili were both getting redder and redder as Bilbo's take went on. When he got to Smaug trying to "roast" her, they made noises like a teakettle, and a trodden on mouse respectively. As Bilbo finished, they both dove for her, intending to 'talk' to her. Dwalin got there first, and dragging her out of the room, Balin followed them, also resembling a storm-cloud.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! Stupid girl, did you think we would not mourn you if you died!"

Dwalin couldn't think of a time when he had been angrier than this moment. Balin was nodding behind him, while Bec looked like a lost little girl in front of him, her shoulders hunched over, and looking very small.

"I couldn't let it happen the way it did before! I got rid of Smaug, the cursed Arkenstone and the One Ring in one go, and you, the company and Bilbo won't have to suffer through the gold madness! Bilbo won't have to feel guilt for not realising that the funny little ring that he picked up was essentially Sauron's soul, and the men living in Laketown weren't attacked! I can _show_ you what would have happened if you'd like. I even asked Mahal and Yavanna to bless a new Arkenstone, so the line of Durin will still have its stupid divine jewel, and Bilbo is going to present it to Thorin as a wedding gift. So, I am sorry that my actions scared you, but even if I had died in doing it, I would have done exactly the same thing, every time, because it would mean that my _family_ and _Fili_ would be safe, and eventually happy. If you need to yell, yell. You will never make me think otherwise, and I think that after you see what could have happened, you'll agree with my actions, if not that it was me doing them."

Bec was breathing hard, and Balin and Dwalin were both wide-eyed and staring, shocked at what she had said.

"You destroyed the One Ring? Why?" Of course Dwalin focused on the bigger threat.

"Well, since I have essentially destroyed that timeline, I can probably show you those movies now, since the future that they predicted will never come to pass. Suffice it say, about 60 years from now, the whole of Middle Earth was at risk, and hobbits stopped Sauron. I'll show you those after I show you what could have happened here."

Balin was still stuck on the Arkenstone issue.

"The Arkenstone was cursed?"

"Of course it was cursed, not even the direct Line of Durin should become quite as good mad as Thror did without some extenuating circumstances or a cursed item. Mahal didn't want it to ruin his children again, so he gave me an exact copy, with a blessing from himself and Yavanna laid in it, and had me promise to use the wyrm to destroy the cursed one."

Balin grabbed her in a hug, and squeezed tight. "Promise your father and me, no more dragons!"

Bec squeaked as Dwalin grabbed her and Balin from the other side, squeezing just as tight.

"I promise. Can we go back in now, so I can get yelled at by my intended?"

"No need khalthûna. I've been standing here waiting for them to finish. I think, however, as long as you can promise me that there will be no more dragons also, we can skip the yelling, and go straight to me hugging you, and never letting go. How does that sound?"

Bec must have liked the idea, because she ripped herself from her families arms, flew to Fili and wrapped herself around him. He grunted in surprise, before returning the embrace with equal fervour.

"I know I said I would love you in all my incarnations, dear one, but could you stop trying to make me die from shock? I would not wish to start a new life over again with you, before I have fully lived this one loving you completely."

Bec's laugh was muffled in Fili's chest, and she lifted her head to press a kiss to his cheek.

"I'll try, my love, but I need to keep you on your toes. Even though we've won the Mountain, we're not in the clear just yet. There's still one more issue looming, and we will need the Men and Elves to help us fight. Gandalf will be coming with news, and hopefully, a cooperative Thranduil. Will you come and let me explain to the rest?"

"I'll follow you anywhere, khalthûna, but first?"

Fili turned his head and kissed her passionately. With her arms around his shoulders, she could feel his pulse in his neck, his heart was pounding so hard. When he nipped her lip, she allowed him in, loving the way his arms tightened involuntarily when he groaned. He moved to gently bite and suck her neck, and she moaned deep in her throat, scratching her nails against his scalp, and loving the vibration coming from his purr. A loud throat clearing from Dwalin felt like he'd thrown a bucket of ice on them, and they jumped apart, both blushing furiously.

"I've made my peace with you and my daughter, little prince, but I'd prefer you be married good and proper before you consummate your Union, _without_ me being a witness." He was smirking while he said this, an eyebrow raised expectantly.

"Sorry, Dad. Let's go back to the rest of the company." Bec was still bright red, even her ears, but bravely led the way back into the room.

Bec stood in front of the company, and took a deep breath.

"I know you all have questions, and I can answer most of them, because our journey is nearly at its happy ending. There is one more part to come. I will ask that you watch as much of the movies as we are allowed. I'll explain the next part, and since we have at least a week to kill before Gandalf gets here, then you will watch what is now an alternate future, that can never happen. Then I'll explain as much as I can of what is going to happen, and what you need to do."

Without allowing anyone to talk, she pressed play, and started the first movie from where they left off. The company expressed much shock at Bilbo finding a ring, asking what it was. Bec shushed them, and they finished the first movie. The second was quickly started, and they wanted to know where all of the courting scenes were. Bec quickly explained that Thorin and Bilbo had never been romantically involved, and any courting by the others was left out from both the book and movies. The dwarrow were shocked that Bec had changed that much. Bec quietly laughed, knowing how shocked they were going to be by the end.

There was horror for the whole of the Mirkwood sequence, with Kili vehemently denying that he would ever fall for an elf over Ori. They were disgusted with the Master of Laketown, and Thorin was disgusted with his other self for leaving a sick Kili behind. There was outright revulsion at how their actions caused Smaug to destroy Laketown, and Thorin was horrified at his rapid descent into madness and gold sickness. The movie cut off just before Thranduil and Bard appeared.

Bec stood up again. "You've all expressed some measure of interest in the Ring that the alternate Bilbo found. It was the One Ring, and no one knew, until 60 years from now, when Frodo's cousin, several times removed, who he called nephew, had to take it to Mt Doom, and save Middle Earth. There were three books written about his journey, and the War of the Ring, and you are going to watch them next. This is what would have happened if I had not used Smaug to destroy the Ring before I killed him."

The company were shocked at how much Bilbo had aged in 60 years, and Thorin squeezed him tight when he explained that most hobbits only lived for around 100 years. Fili and Kili expressed a lot of interest in meeting Merry and Pippin, but the rest of the company all shouted denials, knowing Middle Earth would t survive the collaboration. They cheered when Gimli appeared, with Gloin boasting proudly, and many suspicious sniffles were heard when Frodo volunteered to take the Ring. Dwalin and Dori forbid their brothers from going anywhere near Moria when they found out that they died. Durin's Bane was an afterthought. There was outright shock when Gandalf fell, but they were strangely quiet and respectful when the Lady Galadriel appeared. There were toasts to Boromir's final courageous act, and sadness that Frodo felt that he had to continue with only loyal Sam for company.

They nearly choked when Legolas and Gimli's insults and arguments turned to friendly banter and competition. They were happy when Merry and Pippin found the Ents, and Gandalf returned. Eowyn was declared a dwarrow dam in spirit, with Thorin declaring that she would be more than welcome to fight in his army.

Gloin was so proud of his 'wee lad', he was in tears, however the appearance of Shelob sobered everyone.

When the movie had finished, there was a bright flash of light that made everyone wince and cover their eyes. A quiet chirp was heard that had Bec tearing out of Fili's arms, crying out happily. When the company had cleared the stars from their eyes, they were stunned to see Bec hugging a huge cat. It stood nearly 3 feet tall, was a silvery grey colour with short fur, and it was currently purring very loudly and rubbing her head against Bec, everywhere that could be reached. Fili's eyes bugged out at Bec's next sentence.

"Fili, come and meet my baby girl!"

"Your baby is a larger than normal cat? I thought you had human babies? And that you didn't have any children?"

Bec looked confused, before doubling over in laughter. The cat seemed to chuff a laugh as well.

"I didn't give birth to Shadow! I raised her from a kitten, silly dwarrow. Now come over here."

Fili cautiously approached the large animal, well aware of the damage a large cat could wreak on an unsuspecting person. The cat looked at him, checking him up and down, and leaning in to sniff his face and hair. She looked at Bec, with an expression that was saying, 'why am I meeting this idiot?' Bec smiled at her.

"Shadowcat, meet your new daddy! He's so much better than your first, and you have a new grandpa, and great uncle, and loads of family to play with. I couldn't just leave you behind, I had to bring you with me? What do you think?"

Shadow looked Fili over again, and then stared at him, glaring. Fili swallowed, and stepped forward.

"Your mother has explained some of what happened in your former world, and her husband's actions are repugnant on everyone level to the entire company. I swear to both you and your mother that I will never intentionally hurt either of you, and will hunt to the ends of the earth anyone else who does. I have already courted your mother in the eyes of my people, who are her adopted people now as well. Do I have your permission to join your family?"

Shadow appeared shocked, and circled Fili, sniffing him thoroughly, before coming to a stop in front of him. Fili shivered, the cat seemed to stare into his very soul. Suddenly, she butted her head against his chest, purring quietly. He lifted a hand to pat her on the head. Bec beamed, hugging both of them.

"I'm so glad you like him, darlin'. Do you want to meet the others?" Shadow followed Bec over to Dwalin, who looked a little nervous. Shadow looked at Bec, then rubbed up against Dwalin, and a nearby Balin.

"This is your new grandpa, Dwalin, and great uncle, Balin. Then there's Fili's brother Kili, and his uncle Thorin. There's your grandpa's fiancé, Nori, and his brothers Ori and Dori. Ori is Kili's fiancé, and Dori is Bofur's. Bofur's cousin Bifur is Balin's fiancé, and his brother Bombur is the company cook. Oin is our healer, and his brother Gloin is the coin master. Finally, Bilbo, is our burglar, and Thorin's fiancé. Bilbo is a Hobbit, and the others are Dwarrow. We're going o be living in this mountain called Erebor now, and you can explore it to your hearts content. You can hunt for your food, or I can still make it for you if you want. Did Yavanna and Mahal talk to you before they brought you?"

Shadow had scent-marked each of the company, and received pats and scratches in return. She nodded at Bec, who looked relieved. Bec then explained what Yavanna had done, and curled back up with Fili, Shadow lying across both of their laps. The last movie was shown, and the company was horrified at the devastation implied. Bilbo was shaking, he was so angry at his alternate self, and hugged Bec while thanking her profusely for ending the Ring before it could become a problem. Ori and Shadow were very taken with each other, the young dwarrow being very good at scratching, with a big fondness for cats. Fili and Kili were pouting in the background at being ignored, while Shadow looked on smugly. They were all a little tired, so the entire company went to sleep, safe in the knowledge that they were finally secure. Shadow curled up in between Bec and Ori, purring loudly, as they dropped off.

When Bec woke up, there was a clear split in the company, with all of the affianced members being kept separate. Apparently Thorin had decided he couldn't wait any longer to be married. Thorin was with Fili, Kili hovering over them; Bec was with Balin and Dwalin; Dori was mothering a put out Nori and resigned Ori, and Bofur and Bifur were being force fed by Bombur. Oin and Gloin were going over the marriage ceremony, as Thorin had given them the responsibility of marrying everyone. It was only by virtue of being second cousins to the king that they could marry him; any further away in the bloodline, and Thorin would have needed Balin or Gandalf to marry himself and Bilbo.

The ceremony itself was very simple, vows in Khuzdul, then repeated in Common, exchanging Beads, and in the case of Bilbo, Thorin, Bec and Fili, rings as well; and a chaste kiss. They were married! With all of the formalities of Dwarrow courtship, the weddings were very simple, with large feasts held after for the families to mingle. The company decided to hold off on the feasts, and have one collectively after everything had settled down, with an additional celebration once the lady Dis and their families had arrived, to celebrate the Unions of the royal family.

Just as the congratulations died down, a smiling Gandalf added in his. Most of the company shrieked in surprise, but Bilbo and Bec just laughed. Trust the wizard to turn up at the easiest moment. The three headed off to examine the treasury, and when they came back, the company nearly flew in their haste to at last lay eyes on the legacy of their people. Bilbo stayed to keep an eye on the giddy dwarrow, while Bec and Gandalf drifted off to discuss his journey, and what had happened while he was away.

"What did you do to Smaug? Who defeated him? And why did I have to use magic to clean dragon parts off the treasury?"

Bec giggled at the Wizard's baffled face.

"I had Smaug eat and destroy the One Ring and the Arkenstone before I threw two of the bombs that Gloin and Bofur had made down his gullet. He exploded, which is why there were bits of him everywhere. I'm guessing that you got here so early because the necromancer suddenly did after having been very powerful, for some reason you could not figure? That's because the necromancer was Sauron."

As Bec had spoken, Gandalf had relaxed, looking as if a giant weight had been lifted.

"The Ring is finally destroyed? Thank the Valar! I did as you asked and gave the note to an eleven guard on my way back. With what you had written, I would guess that Thranduil will not be far behind me-"

As Gandalf spoke, the destination sound of an Ellen horn sounded from the front gates.

As the company assembled before the gates, Bec (very politely) told Thorin to keep his damn mouth shut, and let her do the talking. They could see a humongous mount of elven archers, and a particularly snotty looking elf-king on a huge elk. Bec had always thought he looked ridiculous rather than regal on the stupid animal. When Thorin appeared, the lemon look was replaced by rage.

"Oakenshield! Which of your band of greedy _naugrim_ was responsible for the insulting missive I received?"

When Thorin looked both confused, and to be opening his mouth, Bec shoved him back, and took his place, where Thranduil could see her.

" _So_ sorry, your elfiness! I didn't realise that it could be construed as insulting. I only wanted to let you know that Durin's folk had taken back Erebor, and that a giant army made of Orcs and Goblins, along with some trolls and cave-worms would be coming through Mirkwood. We'd be glad to help you get rid of them, though." Bec was choking back giggles. Thranduil's _face_! It was turning so many colours, it couldn't be healthy. Legolas, realising his father would be out of commission for some time, took over for his father.

"I'm not sure how you thought calling my father a spoiled coward _wasn't_ insulting, Master-"

Bec grinned, her smile showing more teeth than a croc's.

"Oh, I didn't sign my note, or introduce myself, did I? So silly of me. I am Rebecca, daughter of Dwalin, son of Fundin; Crown Princess Under the Mountain….also, I killed Smaug, not that it was hard to do or anything."

Legolas looked shocked, but was nowhere near as bad as his father, who looked to be very close to actually foaming at the mouth.

" _Princess_! Ha! You're not even a blasted dwarf, you would never be allowed to marry one, let alone the royal family! And I highly doubt that such a rude wench as yourself had anything to do with the wyrm's death! Send your King to talk business, little girl. I don't acknowledge liars or camp followers, and you are both!"

The company collectively sweat dropped. Bec had had it. She spotted a curve that would serve as a ramp, and ran towards it. As she leapt over the wall and started to fall, someone shouted behind her. She grabbed her bike out, and got it under her, revving loudly. As she landed right in front of the stupid elk, it shied away, and dropped the elf on his pretty-boy arse. Bec revved the engine a bit more, unnerving all of the elves assembled, then got off the bike. She grabbed a terrified Thranduil by his long blond hair, and yanked.

"Now see here, you little dickhead. I have had it up to here-" a gesture to the top of her head "with your fucking uppity attitude! _I_ killed your fucking dragon, and destroyed the One Ring while I was at it. I'm not even from this world, your gods had to contract out, because none of _your_ kind had the fucking balls to do anything until it was nearly too late! You sit in your poisoned realm, whining about how hard it is, and don't do anything to try and fix it, or help anyone else, even other elves! You have been sulking for centuries, Thranduil Oropherion, and I will not have you throwing a hissy fit like a 3 year old _human_ child, because something doesn't fit your view."

Bec heaved a big breath in and out to try and calm down.

" _Now_ , are you done having your arse handed to you by a girl, and willing to listen, or do I actually have to break your nose?"

The elf was shocked, and just stared at the tiny woman. Legolas, on the other hand, was not reacting well to his father being man-handled. He stepped forward to intervene, and Bec glared at him.

"I like you Legolas, when you grow up a bit, you're pretty funny, but I swear to Tim Tams, if you take another step, _you_ will have a broken nose, and a bruised arse to go with it!"

Legolas, remembering Tauriel's fury, wisely stepped back.

Bec huffed, and looked down at the fallen immortal.

"So, _King_ Thranduil, are you done being a fucking dickweed, and ready to start _actually_ acting like a King who cares for others?"


	13. Meet Bard, Thranduil pouts and posturing

A/N: Umm, Bec's potty mouth...no really. Also, I attempted a lemon. Please any feedback on that is welcome, it's my first, and I'm not that confident...

Chapter 12 – Meet Bard, Thranduil pouts…..oh, and a lot of posturing before a big battle…

While Thranduil was still pouting (and his subjects were stunned into silence), a delegation of Men rode up, with the familiar (to Bec at least) figure of Bard at the front. He dismounted, looking very curiously at Bec's abandoned bike, and walked over to the sulking monarch.

"Hail Thranduil, have you destroyed the horror of the Mountain?"

Bec, glaring a little, tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around, and blanched at the deathie facing him.

Bec was proud that she had finally mastered her original dad's death stare, as nothing else could possibly induce such a reaction.

"Excuse me, Master Bowman, but _I_ was the one to destroy Smaug, and part of the company of Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain. As there is a giant army coming, your women and children are more than welcome to shelter within the walls of Erebor."

Bard was visibly shocked. " _You_ killed the wyrm? _How?!_ "

Bec grinned her crocodile grin again. "I've taught my adopted family how to make what is known as bombs, in my world. They are small metal balls, sometimes filled with gases, or jagged metal, as well as black powder. When the fuse is lit, and reaches the black powder, the bomb explodes, with a large concussive force. Smaug swallowed two, and was promptly splattered all over the treasure."

Thranduil paled, and Bard swallowed and stepped back. Suddenly, the gates opened, and the rest of the company ran out, headed by Fili, Balin and Dwalin. Gandalf was leisurely walking behind the company, looking completely unconcerned.

"What vile words have you been spewing at my wife, the Champion of Mahal!" Fili was spitting mad, and roaring. Bec neatly stepped into his path before he could _accidentally_ hit the kneeling king with one of his many knives.

"Now kundel, King Thranduil and Bard here, were just listening to me explain exactly how a tiny _lying camp follower_ could possibly have killed such a dangerous creature as the lazy and complacent dragon that had been sleeping in a treasure pile for 60 years."

At Bec's words, Dwalin growled, and Balin's eye went flat.

"I hope, King Thranduil, that you did not insult the champion sent to rescue Middle Earth by the Valar, who is my niece, and the Crown Princess of Durin's folk. That would not have been a wise move, and you are known for being such a _wise_ and _cautious_ king that even when your own kingdom is overrun by foul creatures, you do nothing more than withdraw, and keep your own people safe."

Ouch, Balin was in fine form, the elf actually flinched at that, and the colour was very slowly starting to come back into his face.

"Gandalf, how much time do we have before the army gets here?" Bec wanted to know if she had enough time to show the males what they would be facing.

"You have approximately two days, my dear." The stupid wizard just smirked and puffed on his pipe.

Bec made Bard sit down, as well as Legolas, next to his father.

"Since males are so stubborn, I'll just have to show you proof of how this would have gone had I not interfered."

Bec didn't bother showing them the whole 3 movies, only from the entrance into Mirkwood until the arrival of Bard and Thranduil at the gates. They were understandably shocked, as were the elves that could see (or hear) what was happening as well. As Thranduil was more inclined to listen, she directed him to start making plans with Thorin, Balin, Gandalf and Bard, while setting up a camp next to the river. At the same time, Thorin had sent a raven to Dain, telling them to hurry, or risk missing a lovely battle with orcs and goblins.

Once Bard had recovered, he sent men to Laketown, to bring anyone who wanted to fight, as well as the women and children back. Dwalin, while he had been in the treasury had come across a staff, made of mithril. The staff was even more special in that, if you twisted it, foot long blades popped out of either end. Bec, upon receiving the staff, had a wicked idea that would end up striking terror into the hearts of all who saw her.

Bec spent the rest of the day with Bofur, Gloin and a contingent of Elves and Men, making some pit traps and improvised spike walls to take the brunt of the first charge. Gloin and Bofur had shown Bifur, Oin, Dori, Nori and Ori how to make the bombs, so that group was busy making as large a stockpile as they could. About half would be given to the elves that were proficient with slings, so that they could lob them at the enemy before everyone collided to cause as much chaos and damage as possible.

Gandalf was not having fun mediating between Thorin and Thranduil. Nothing he said seemed to register, and he was getting more and more annoyed, as seen by an increasingly nervous Bard. It seemed to be getting to a head when a force of nature (read: Bilbo) stormed in. He took one look at the group and in a flash, had a handful of Thorin's braids.

"King or no, you will behave as you were raised, or so help me, your wedding _night_ will not occur until you have gained your sister's blessing _in person_."

Thorin actually pouted, but brightened as a _snorting_ Thranduil drew the Hobbit's ire. He stomped over to the elven king, stood on a nearby chair, grabbed one pointy ear, and _pinched._

"Oh, do I have your attention, Elven King?" A pale Thranduil was now gritting his teeth and wincing, paying full attention to the being harming his sensitive ears. Bilbo pinched once more for good measure.

"Good. I had hoped that a being more than 5000 years old would not need to be treated like a misbehaving fauntling in order to be reminded of his responsibilities and station. You will get your _coveted_ jewels once the battle is over, and the dwarrow have had a chance to look for them. The dragon was not an organized housekeeper, and we have only just cleaned the pieces of him from the treasury. The smell lingers, if you are curious."

Thranduil was cowed by Bilbo, and nodded silently, before turning to Thorin.

"King Thorin, I propose a truce between myself and your person for the length of this coming battle, until we can have the time to properly air our grievances. Perhaps your fine consort would do the honour of being our mediator as a neutral party, when the time comes?"

Thorin, still looking put out, agreed. Thanks to Bilbo, army placement and tactics were discussed in earnest, until dark fell.

Bec, who had by that time long been in the kitchen with Bombur, entered. She had enough portions of lasagne for everyone (with a vegetarian option for Thranduil and Legolas if they preferred), as well as beer from her bags.

"Your highness, you do not need to serve food." Legolas was slightly flustered at seeing the woman calm and smiling.

"Nonsense, Prince Legolas. I have been cooking my whole life, and enjoy it. This recipe is from my original world, called lasagne. It has pastry, meat in a tomato sauce, and a creamy sauce with cheese, or for those who don't like to eat meat, a version with eggplant instead of meat. I also have beer, some wine for those who prefer and rum for anyone brave enough."

Bard and Legolas looked intrigued, and Thranduil was looking while trying to appear indifferent. Surprisingly, all opted to try the meat version first, with the dwarrow asking for beer, Thranduil asking for wine, and Legolas, Bard and Gandalf opting for the rum. Gandalf invited Bec to stay, and once she had sat down and taken a swig of her rum, the man and elf followed suit, figuring that it couldn't be as strong as she'd said. Bard immediately started spluttering, valiantly swallowing the liquor just in time. Legolas went a ruddy red, and swallowed slowly, before looking at his father.

"This rum is very strong Adar. The princess must have nearly as strong a constitution as our own race."

Bec blushed. "Hardly, just got my original dad's tolerance. Rum is something of a specialty in the Northern part of my country. I visited the factory with my family when I was only 9 years old. I wanted to go back once I turned 18, but well, I never quite managed. If you think that is strong, I'm not letting anyone near my tequila!"

Thranduil maintained that it could not be that strong. With a wicked smile, Bec convinced the king to go shot for shot with her. The elven king may be able to drink wine all night, but he had clearly never had shots of strong liquor one after another. He made it to 6 out of the 10 lined up before conceding defeat, with a flush on his cheeks. Winking at Legolas, Bec polished off her remaining four, with a curious Bilbo finishing Thranduil's leftovers. They then said goodnight to the bemused prince, dragging Balin and Thorin with them as they left.

Legolas looked at a stunned Bard.

"I hope my daughters never meet the Crown Princess, for they will be more terrifying than their mother if they do!"

Bard finished the last of his beer. "If she is anything like a natural born dwarrowdam, I pity every male of that race; they're far braver than I would be."

Legolas shuddered. "You didn't even see her verbally eviscerate my father. He called her a camp follower, and she dressed him down as if he was a recalcitrant elfling. She used his full name, and _swore_ at him. She used his hair as a tool to drag him down to her height. I am so very glad that she was not angry at me, and I have sworn to the Valar to endeavour _never_ to do anything that would cause her to be."

The prince and soon-to-be-king looked at each other and shuddered in mutual fear. They also bid each other goodnight, and left to find their beds.

The next day, around mid-morning, Dain arrived with his army. He was very confused at being allies with Thranduil and said so. Very loudly. And very often.

"I just don't understand why we need the prissy nancy boy or his army of delicate flowers to slaughter a few orcs and goblins."

After the thirtieth re-iteration of the above sentence, Bec had had enough. Having been introduced earlier, she got quite close to Dain before he noticed something was wrong. He seemed to be viewing her very indulgently, and obviously did not believe that she was the one that had defeated the dragon, or helped kill Azog. Considering that Dis was also his cousin, he really should have known better…

Bec grabbed hold of his armour, and pulled him down off his war pig. The pig looked around, but on seeing the look on the woman's face, smartly decided to continue eating. Dain oofed when he hit the ground, and went to stand up. He stopped when Bec put her foot on a very sensitive area, and started applying slight pressure.

"Ah, lassie, I need you to move your foot please. This isn't a good position for me to be in, and I really need to get an answer from my cousin…"

Dain had looked up while speaking, and trailed off at the black look he received.

When Bec noticed he was finally paying attention, she smiled….It wasn't a nice smile.

"Oh, are you finally ready to listen to me Dain? I would have thought knowing Dis, you would not be so quick to dismiss someone just because they were female and/or a different race. Maybe you didn't hear Thorin Stupidshield over there when he introduced Bilbo and myself. Bilbo is his husband, and Consort under the Mountain. I am married to Fili, which makes me the Crown Princess under the Mountain. Additionally, _your_ creator had to find me in another world, and send me here to save his stubborn arse children. I _know_ what is going to happen, and _I_ know how to keep all you stupid fuckheads alive, and hopefully in one piece. Now, for the last time, the armies that are coming are huge, and include trolls and war worms. You _will_ need the help of the elves and the men. And really, shouldn't you be able to show that you are the bigger, more mature people, and graciously forgive the elves for their bad manners? You will annoy them more by being courteous than by falling for every insult, I can assure you. Also, as funny as it is seeing how many different colours you can make Thranduil turn, I really don't want him to end up having a stroke, being an immortal drooling vegetable would not be fun."

Dain was listening intently, and appeared to actually be taking notes on Bec's phrasing. She had to admit, it was flattering. She regretted that she hadn't taken advantage of her plan from year 9, when she wanted to learn to swear in as many languages as possible, but the versatility that the word fuck had gained since she grew up kind of negated the need for other curse words. It was funny teaching the dwarrow Australian slang though; they had really taken to the concept of rhyming slang. The company now referred to Thranduil as the 'fairy ring' in their conversations. Thankfully, they remembered not to say it to his face.

Dain had finally stopped taking notes, and looked up again.

"Aye, lassie. I believe you. I saw your magic….I do have one request though. Can you call my cousin 'Stupidshield' in front of him? That's one of the best insults I've heard for him."

Bec grinned. "Bilbo and I are waiting until he does something _really_ stupid, but knowing Thorin, he'll manage something before the week's out. If you've finished taking notes, would you like to join the 'war council'? Bilbo and I will be bringing some lunch over in a couple of hours, along with plenty of alcohol. I beat Thrandy-pants in a drinking contest last night, and I have to keep my title."

Dain looked shocked. "A tiny thing like you out-drank an elf? That I'd have to see, if only because I've tried to do it and failed!" He laughed and walked off.

Bec made a note to have the tequila out this time, along with some limes and salt. Some things _did_ need to be done properly after all, and tequila shots were one of them. Looking around, and seeing nothing to do, she resolved to find her husband and sneak off for some bonding time, before going to help the others in the kitchen. At the very least, if she got Fili riled enough, he would be sure to be safe in the battle, if only so he could take his frustration out on the hapless orcs.

Kili looked around, sure that Fili had been behind him. He shrugged, and went off to find Ori.

Meanwhile, Bec smiled down at Fili behind the tent they were using to hide. She had dragged him off the path as quickly as she could, although he only stopped struggling when he saw her face.

"What's wrong, khalthûna? Did someone insult you?" Poor Fili looked very angry at the idea, but he was trying to show his concerned face instead…it ended up with him looking very constipated.

Bec laughed. "Kundel, even if someone had insulted me, I would make them pay for it long before you had a chance…I may have put the fear of Mahal in your cousin Dain though. He was taking notes on my swearing, should I be concerned that I've been corrupting dwarrow? Anyway, I thought I'd hunt down my _brand new_ husband, and see if he was able to sneak off for some quick quality time with his wife?"

Fili gaped for a couple of seconds, but quickly recovered, nodding eagerly.

"I would like nothing more than to spend some time with you, dear one. If not for this battle, last night would have been our wedding night…I was looking forward to that." He finished with a pout. Bec giggled, and leaned forward to kiss him. When he maintained his pout, she bit and sucked at his stuck out bottom lip until he groaned and started to kiss back. They pulled apart, panting, and grinned at each other. Bec pulled away, yelling over her shoulder as she raced back toward the mountain.

"Catch me if you can, Fili!" Her giggles drifted back towards Fili, who smirked.

"Right then. Guess I'd better catch me a wife." He laughed, and bolted after her.

Once Bec got to 'their' room, she stopped running, and started peeling off her armour and leathers. Not much point in finally getting some quality make out time, if said time had to be wasted taking half of your outfit off to actually get somewhere. In this instance, she really missed the skimpier clothes and warmer climate of Australia, and the 21st century. She could hear boots pounding louder, and hid behind the door. When Fili entered, and looked around in confusion, she flung herself on his back, whispering 'surprise' in his ear. He marched toward the bed, and Bec let go of him, busying herself loosening the buckles and laces on his armour and leathers while waiting for him to turn around. When he did, his eyes were nearly black, and he swooped upon her, first giving her a hard kiss, and then focusing his attention on the junction between her neck and shoulder. When she gasped, he realised it was a sensitive spot, and proceeded to lick, suck and bite, while Bec struggled to get the remains of his pesky outer clothing off. Once she did, she tugged Fili's head back up, and gave him a passionate open mouthed kiss. When she shoved him, he fell back onto the bed with a huff, looking confused. The confusion cleared quickly once she straddled him.

Fili was in heaven. His lovely wife was slowly grinding on his lap, while gently running her nails across his scalp. He did the only thing a man could do. He started to pay attention to her chest. Now, dwarrowdams as a rule were not heavily endowed in the chest area, so Bec's generous bosom was a marvel to the young prince; he was fascinated. Once he had the heavy weight in his palms, he gently kneaded the whole breast, coming back to pay special attention to the nipples he could feel. He was paying such close attention that he didn't realise what his actions were doing to his wife until she dragged his face up to kiss him wildly. As her grinding grew more urgent, he dropped one hand to her waist, kneading her back, and slowly dropping his hand lower. He jumped when her hand found its way into his underclothes, hissing through his teeth at her grip. Before the quest, he had had partners lining up, not being unfortunate looking, as well as a prince; more than 6 months without another person had dulled his memories some though.

Fili must have had enough of Bec being in control, because he flipped them over very quickly, one hand going to her underwear, and slipping inside. When he felt how damp she was, he groaned, low and deep. Bec shivered in delight. Her last lover had been her ex-husband, and by the end, he was only interested in himself, often only going through a routine to get her aroused enough that he could do what he needed before leaving her cold. She had a feeling that Fili would be different, though, not least which because he seemed to be even more affected by her, than she was by him! She let her legs fall more open, still stroking him, and stroking his tongue with hers. He seemed hesitant to continue until she reassured him, and she loved him even more in that moment for still taking the time to check with her that she was comfortable. His fingers were much larger than she was used to, and created a delicious friction. When she realised that she was getting close, she was shocked; she had never been sure if she had had an orgasm before…apparently she had not. In response to Fili's quick fingers, she sped up her strokes, loving the way he faltered. Once Bec started, her grip got tighter, and she leaned up and bit Fili's neck in an effort to try and keep as quiet as possible. The bite was the end for Fili, he jerked in her hold, and moved to collapse on her side. Bec curled up next to him.

"With how good that was, we could bring the mountain down when we actually get our wedding night!" She laughed breathlessly.

They enjoyed a lazy cuddle for a half hour or so, before they cleaned up and went their separate ways.

When Kili caught sight of Fili, he hooted and laughed, drawing the attention of the entire 'war tent'. "Brother, you are positively _glowing_! Did your wife find you?"

Fili blushed, and punched his brother in the arm, hard. "I'll tell Ori, Nadadith, and you won't see your wedding night for months!" Kili shut up very quickly.

Bec entered the tent shortly after, Bilbo and Bombur trailing with massive platters of burgers. They were quick to make and easy to put together. The dwarrow, elf and human armies outside also took to them quickly, eating them as quickly as they could.

Once the burgers were served up, Bec repeated her offer from the night before. This time, Bard, Thorin, Balin and Dwalin took beer, Thranduil and Bilbo took wine, and Fili, Kili, Legolas and Gandalf opted to have rum. Bec and Dain also had rum with their meal, but Bec challenged Dain to a tequila shot contest once they were finished. Bec had her bag with her, so she pulled out her bottle of tequila four times, it refilling each time inside the bag, to make sure she had enough. She poured a shot for everyone to try, and nearly passed out laughing hard at their faces. Bilbo was the only one who swallowed it down with no fuss.

"You should have waited; only people who _really_ love tequila drink it straight. Tequila shots are done with salt and lime as well. You lick some salt, drink the shot, and then suck on a lime."

She demonstrated, and they tried again. Surprisingly Bilbo and Balin liked the liquor, but the rest didn't seem fussed. The only reason Dain continued was because Bec had insulted him, implying that she could out-drink him. As the night before with Thranduil, Bec set up 10 shots each, and they went down the row. To Dain's credit, he also got to shot number six before he bowed out, swaying from side to side. Bec grinned her crocodile grin.

"Never try to out-drink an Aussie, mate, its one of our national sports!" She finished off her four quickly, one after another, and gave Bilbo Dain's remaining four.

The rest of the afternoon was spent finalizing battle plans, going over traps, and Bec's surprise for the orc army. She just knew it was going to be a bang!


	14. The Very Expected Battle

A/N: Mentions of AC/DC, come on guys, they're an Aussie band, with two very apt songs...

Also, I don't know if I mentioned this back in the fic or not, but the videos that Bec shows the Company with the songs, like 'I See Fire', and all of that are real. There's an artist named Peter Hollens that has done acapella versions of most if not all of the Hobbit and LotR songs. He is awesome, and you should really check him out.

Enjoy.

Chapter 13 – The Very Expected Battle

Bec wasn't at all surprised when she woke up in the nothing space again, face to…well, chest to be honest with Mahal. She stepped back and peered up at him. He was grinning, and swooped in for a hug. She enjoyed being swung around in circles, but soon started to wheeze from the strength he was using.

"Not that I'm saying no to hugs, but you didn't make me _that_ durable when you upgraded me!"

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, but you've destroyed a curse that has plagued my line for centuries, the One Ring and you're going to stay with my children! There is nothing to be sad about."

She smiled. "Well, it was all to my benefit as well. It wouldn't do to have my uncle-in-law go bat-shit crazy and try to kill his soulmate! I think you knew I would stay though." She glared at him slightly.

"Speaking of me staying, can you fix it, so that another version of me gets to live instead? You've already got me here, but I'm sure you can pull some godly mojo to fix it or something, right? I just don't want to put my original family through anymore grief, and I figured that another version of me might end up with a better life, or at least be better suited for that world."

Mahal looked very thoughtful, looking to a very quiet Yavanna, that had popped up beside him.

"I'm sure we can come up with something that will work. I brought you here to talk to you about the battle tomorrow. I know my children, and they are very stubborn. You have convinced the company, but the rest will probably need some sort of sign from their god that you have my favour. I'm sure you've got a plan percolating in your head, will you share?"

Bec nodded. "Well, I was thinking that some sort of divine light beaming down, and then you and Yavanna appearing beside me would work fairly well, we could do that once everyone is ready, but before the orcs appear. Also, about the dead warriors, can you bring them back around me in wraith forms, like the dead that Aragorn used, and then after the battle is over if they wish to stay, grant them life?"

Yavanna hmmed, and then nodded. "That would work much easier than our original plan, darling, what do you think?"

Mahal stroked his chin, looking at the ground. "It can be done, but why do you want them to appear around you? Wouldn't it be better for them to appear in front of the orcs?"

Bec smirked. "Why, my dear Mahal, _I'll_ be in the middle of the army, striking the fear of Mahal in their black little hearts. Your children have quickly duplicated the bombs they made, and it seems rude to keep all of those presents to myself. I did have one favour to ask you though, I need a minor upgrade to my bike for my plan to fully work. Is that possible? Pleeease?" Once Bec turned the puppy eyes on him, he caved.

"Fine, but you can't teach that look to any of my dwarrow!"

"That's alright, Bilbo already has."

They continued discussing their plans for tomorrow, laughing and joking, until the two Valar sent Bec back to the waking world.

When Bec opened her eyes, she grinned, her smile full of teeth. This would be the day that she would wipe out orcs and goblins, well, with the help of Mahal and Yavanna, anyway.

She looked at Fili, sleeping peacefully beside her, and knew that she would do anything to keep him alive, as well as the rest of the company. His eyes slowly opened, and he stretched with a groan. When he saw her watching him he smiled.

"See something nice, khalthûna?"

Bec glared. "Yeah, you have drool all over your face. Dreaming about me?" She laughed, and got up.

Fili pouted, but quickly cheered up once Bec started changing. After the third time he tried to cop a feel, she slapped his hands away and turned around.

"I need to talk to your uncle before the battle, Mahal has a message."

Fili sobered quickly at the reminder of the looming skirmish, and joined her, dressing as quickly as he could.

Shockingly, Thorin and Bilbo were still asleep. Bec and Fili shared a look, before banging the door hard to wake Thorin up, and then jumping on their bed. Bilbo jerked awake once Fili's knee hit his stomach.

"Ooof! Wassat?" He looked around blearily. "Fili, Bec, what are you doing in here?"

Bec smiled at the adorable hobbit. "I have news. Mahal and Yavanna wish to address the armies before the orcs and goblins arrive. Can we get everyone up and ready in the next 2 hours?"

Thorin looked gobsmacked, and then became determined. "For a personal address from our Father, we can be ready in one. Sound the waking bell, and we'll get the early risers to wake the elves and men.

Bec looked back at the army. That was a _lot_ of people, and she was never very good at public speaking. Hopefully, her luck would hold out. Once Thorin introduced her as Mahal's champion, that was her cue.

Thorin was in his element, making a grand speech, until Bilbo elbowed him, and muttered at him to 'hurry up'. He swallowed.

"I know many of you don't believe the tales you have heard about the defeat of Smaug the wyrm. They are true. Mahal, our Father, sent us a champion from another world, who knew how our quest was to end. She defeated Azog, along with my husband and soulmate. She destroyed the One Ring, the last vestige of Sauron's power, and killed the dragon that had plagued us. She wishes to speak to you of a message from Mahal. Will you listen?"

The mass of dwarrow roared, men and elves swept along in their enthusiasm. Bec took a deep breath, and allowed Thorin to pull her up onto the rock he was using as a platform.

"Um, hi. I know I don't look like much, but Mahal and his lady wife have sent me to help your race, and I think I've done fairly well so far. I just keep shocking the Company, my adopted family. They've banned me from going after any more dragons now! The last big problem that I was tasked with was this battle. It couldn't be prevented, so it is our duty to wipe out as many orcs and goblins as we can today. With Sauron gone, they are the last that will ever grace Middle Earth!"

The armies cheered. Bec swallowed, this was the hard part.

"I realise even now, some of you doubt that Mahal actually called me. You think me a witch or demon. There is only one thing that I can do in the face of these rumours." A light beamed down from the heavens, causing the crowd to gasp.

"I present to you, Mahal and Yavanna, to speak for themselves."

Mahal appeared, around 4 metres tall. He looked every inch the dwarrow god, from his armour, complete with axes and war hammer, to his long beard and braided hair. Yavanna was beside him, slightly shorter, in a long green dress, ad flowers in her curly hair.

"My children! You have grown so much and come so far from when I first carved your fore-fathers from the stone. My champion has done many great things since I pulled her from her world, but the greatest you have yet to hear. When she first awoke to Yavanna and myself, we told her that as payment for her services, she would receive three boons from each of us. Only two of the four boons that she used immediately could be considered purely selfish. The other two were for the benefit of the company that she would be travelling with, and one will keep my children from starving. As we took her when she was camping, she had a considerable food supply. Her request was to make all of her food and drink unperishable and never-ending. These food supplies can only be accessed by a member of the original company or one of their descendants, but you will never need to fear famine again!"

Everyone was shocked. That was a large boon to ask of a god, especially for a people you had never met before. Mahal cleared his throat to continue.

"Yavanna and I have one request to grant during this battle. All dwarrow who have died either directly or indirectly due to the fall of Erebor will be returned to fight in this battle. One of my champions requests was to give those dwarrow a choice at the end of this battle, the choice to stay and live out their natural life, or return to my halls. This request shocked both myself and my lady wife, and we were so impressed with her selflessness, we have decided to combine our power to gift this to you, my children. Any who die here today will have the same choice, a gift from Eru for her bravery and devotion to a world not her own."

Mahal and Yavanna then blessed the assembled armies, who were still stunned from the revelations of earlier. Mahal looked to the mountains.

"Form up, and be ready, their army is nearly upon you. Look to my champion, she will guide you. Fight at her signal." The two Valar disappeared, and Bec got their attention once again.

"Ok, this is going to sound silly, but everyone find a partner, and stick with them the whole time. Two people are harder to take down than one alone."

She jumped down, while Thorin started getting the dwarrow pumped.

"Ori, how good are you with larger objects in your slingshot?"

The scribe looked thoughtful. "How much larger?"

Bec laughed. "How about Bofur and Gloin's bombs?"

He smiled, a very good attempt at Bec's croc smile. "They're easy, I was practicing with some hollow ones earlier."

"Good. Here's my lighter, you flick your thumb to produce a flame. I need you on the back of my bike, lighting and throwing them. Can you do that? I need to clear a nice big space at the centre of the opposing army."

Ori looked determined, and nodded.

Gandalf had spelled the traps to be invisible until tripped, so they were going to hold their army back until they had started to breach the traps. Bec planned to head out once they got stuck between the two rows of traps, and have some orc flambé. She got her bike out, and smiled at the changes Mahal had made. She scrolled to a very specific playlist on her phone, and sat on the bike, Ori behind her. She told Thorin to keep everyone back until after she had summoned the dead. Hopefully, they could take care of the majority of the enemy. When she saw the orcs approaching, Bolg at their head, she took a breath and looked at Ori.

"Aim for the ugly white one first; he's Azog's son, and wants to finish what his father started." Ori glared at the oncoming army, and growled.

Once they had broken the first trap, losing at least 1/16th of their force in the process, Bec pressed play, and started her bike. Some very familiar guitar and drums started, playing very loudly through the megaphones Mahal had placed on her bike. The dwarrow around her looked shocked, but some started banging their weapons to the beat, and repeating the 'oy'.

As Bec rocketed out toward the army, the song started, and Bec smiled as the chorus came on. _'T.N.T. indeed. Those ugly pricks will never know what hit them.'_

The confused orcs let Bec get right through, and Ori lobbed at bomb right at Bolg's face, having waited until the last moment to launch it. She laughed as the giant beast exploded, and Ori kept firing, like a machine. When she got to the centre, she did a couple of donuts to keep the orcs and goblins away, Ori now just throwing the bombs. When a space was cleared she stopped the music and raised her hands to the sky.

"Lord Mahal, Lady Yavanna, please send back the glorious dead to avenge themselves and their families."

What looked to be a lightening bolt hit a large ring she was wearing, with a giant diamond on it. Within the light reflected from the ring, hundreds, no, thousands of dwarrow warriors appeared, ready for battle. The four closest to her looked very familiar, and were more solid looking than the rest of their brethren.

"Thror, Thrain, Frerin and Fundin, at your service, highness."

Bec gaped, and behind her, Ori squeaked.

The youngest, also a blond smirked. "My nephew made an excellent choice." He shouted when his father slapped him upside the head.

"Focus, dashat. We have a battle to win first. Do you have a weapon, nâtha?"

Bec showed them her staff, and Ori gripped the sword he took from the treasury.

"Good. Let us fight then." He turned to the Dwarrow standing around them, and raised his axe.

"BARUK KHAZAD! KHAZAD AI MENU!"

The dwarrow roared in response, and turned as one to swarm their enemy. Bec roared along with Ori, and pressed play again, this time it was 'War Machine' that came out of her souped up megaphones. It was as loud as it could go, and had the added bonus of making the orcs and goblins try to cover their ears. Bec flicked the blades out and held her staff like a lance, running orcs through as she drove past. The really unfortunate ones were dragged along for the ride. Ori still had some bombs he was tossing out, decimating the remaining army, about ¼ now of what they started with. The elves and men were picking off any that managed to get through, with the dwarrow being a front line in front of the elven and human archers. Once Ori was finished with the bombs, he tapped Bec's shoulder. She gestured to his sword and held her hand to head height. He nodded, and held his sword out on her other side, beheading any that came past.

It didn't take much longer before the army was decimated. The dead warriors let out a deafening cheer. Bec lead them back past the traps, and they dispersed, many finding friends and family to celebrate with. Bec and Ori zoomed over last, as Gandalf walked past them, setting fire to the remains of the army as he went.

When they pulled to a stop, a grinning Frerin grabbed Bec off the bike, and spun her around gleefully.

"Hey, get your hands off my sister!" Kili had come and grabbed Ori, and upon realising that the blond dwarrow was not his brother, stormed over to protect his new family member. He gasped when Frerin turned around.

"You look like my amad! Who are you?!"

Frerin chuckled. "I am your uncle Frerin, little gem, and the last time I saw you, you were still inside your mother's womb." He cackled at Kili's frozen body, before he was tackled by his older brother. Thorin's crown fell off, and he was laughing and crying at the same time, squeezing his little brother as hard as he could. Fili stepped up behind him, looking very angry.

"Please promise me khalthûna, that this was the last obstacle you had to fix. My heart can't take you being in much more danger." Bec grinned wryly.

"Well, kundel, this was the last sure thing I had. I have no idea what happens after this, except for my last two boons. I promise you, this is my last battle, as long as it is also your last. Any fight of yours, will be a fight of mine, dear one."

Fili took a deep breath, and nodded, before kissing her passionately. She could feel him shuddering, as if he was finally releasing all of his worry and fear about what could happen. A voice drew them apart.

"Look at my little warrior, all grown up with a wife of his own!" Another blond dwarrow, who looked very similar to Fili and Kili had come up. Fili's eyes widened in shock.

"ADAD!" He threw himself at the new figure, dragging a protesting Kili away from Ori in the process.

Thorin was actually smiling again, looking between Thror, Thrain and Frerin, touching them all every few seconds. Bilbo was curled under his arm, having been quickly approved of. Dwalin and Balin were approaching with Fundin, and pulled Bec away.

"Daughter, I would like to introduce you to your grandfather, Fundin. He says that he has been watching over us for the whole quest at one of your requests, and he wanted to officially meet you."

The elder dwarrow looked very much like Dwalin, but with white hair – and more of it!

"My dear granddaughter. I could not be any prouder of you if you had been born to my line rather than adopted. You have saved my family more times than I can count, and selflessly sacrificed your own home in order to give my sons back theirs."

Bec shrugged, looking shy. "Even if I was going back, I still would have done everything the same. It wasn't fair what happened to the dwarrow, and if I could fix it, I would. I just got lucky in that the company I landed in chose to keep me as family."

Dwalin and Balin both looked suspiciously glassy-eyed, and sniffled.

The dwarrow spent the rest of the day catching up, although in the end, most of the older dwarrow chose to return to Mahal's halls, either having grown up children or not enough time left anyway. The ones who chose to stay remained at the same age they had died at, which would end up causing some confusion when the rest of the Ereborian dwarrow finally came home. Thror and Thrain, as well as Fundin both elected to go, saying that their sons and families had things well in hand. Once the clean-up was complete, the dwarrow, as well as the elves and men, now firm friends, all turned their attention to cleaning up Erebor. Surprisingly, as Smaug had been rather large when he arrived, he had really only wrecked the path from the entrance to the treasury, so the clean-up only took 4 days.


	15. A Lovely Beginning

Chapter 14 – A Lovely Beginning

Everything had been going well, and the revived dwarrow were re-integrating into daily life well. Once Erebor was completely refurbished, the three races turned their attentions to Dale, hoping to have the city returned to its former glory before summer. It was hard, since the winter would be full of snow and wind, they needed to get the exteriors of as many structures finished as possible so the workers would have safe places to stay in the event of a blizzard. With Bec's bag, they didn't have to worry about food supplies and harvesting, so they concentrated all of their energies on the rebuilding. Bard was finally invested as the Lord of Dale just as spring began. There was still a lot of work needed to be done inside, but the city was liveable once again.

After Dale, many warriors, having gotten twitchy at the lack of work volunteered to help the elves clear out the spiders and other evils from Mirkwood. Once the spiders nests were destroyed, it became much easier, and Mirkwood was slowly on its way to becoming the Greenwood once more. Legolas and Tauriel had struck up a friendship with Fili, Kili, Sigrid and Bain. Tilda was fascinated with Bilbo and Bec, although getting time with the hobbit was difficult. Bilbo had been appointed elven ambassador, as Thranduil was still nervous around Bec, and couldn't be trusted not to pick a fight with a dwarrow. He spent a few months in Thranduil's palace, with a very unhappy Thorin visiting, in order to understand the elven king better. Once Thranduil saw how the forest was being cleansed, he became much less reserved and more relaxed. He would never be able to be friendly with Thorin, or necessarily nice, but Legolas was shaping up to be a wonderful leader, so he was happy for his son to be the ambassador and his voice in Erebor. Bec smiled when she heard that, counting down the days until Legolas and Gimli met.

Thorin had elected to keep the returned dwarrow a secret, and present them when the rest of his kingdom returned. He was in particular looking forward to Dis' reaction to having Frerin and Vili back. Between Frerin and Vili, Bec now knew where a large part of Fili and Kili's temperaments had come from. She enjoyed getting to know her new family members, who both spoiled her and the boys something rotten, Vili because he had missed out on so much of their lives, and Frerin because he finally had family younger than him to tease.

Bec and Bilbo engineered a grand ceremony once Erebor was restored where Bilbo gave the Arkenstone to Thorin. They could all feel a sense of warmth and peacefulness once it was installed. Thorin had decided not to put it in the throne though. He had commissioned a mural, depicting Smaug and the fall of Erebor, as well as its reclamation. There was a panel at the end with a very noticeable figure (with furry feet) gifting the stone to the king, so that all future generations would know of Bilbo's selflessness.

Bifur and Bofur had opened up a toy store, which was extremely popular. Bec hoped that it would be even more so once she made her final request. Bombur was the head chef, and had lots of fun introducing the new foods that Bec had in her bag, especially chocolate, as well as her recipes. Bilbo was happy because the new recipes encouraged more dwarrow to eat veggies, although their diet was still primarily meat-based.

Ori was the Head Librarian, and collaborating with Bilbo on an account of their quest. Ori was sticking to the facts, for a version for the historians, while Bilbo was working on a story version for the dwarflings to learn. Nori was the unofficial Spymaster, and spent most of his time in the shadows, though he did help Dwalin a lot, as he was officially his husband's second in command. Finally, Dori had his teahouse, and Bec had reserved her best pastries and cakes for him, after swearing him to secrecy. Pavlova, mud cake, brownies and banana bread were the most popular sellers, and he had recently started branching out into savoury dishes with pies, sausage rolls and omelettes. He had recently started a mobile cart that catered to the miners and blacksmiths for meals.

Oin was the Head healer, although he spent more time teaching his apprentices than treating other people; that was reserved for members of the Company. He had many apprentices, and the Healer's halls were thriving. Healers from the Elves and Men also came to learn and teach, so all techniques and cures could be shared. Oin also had charge of Bec's medical kit – her panadol and antibiotics were invaluable, and the antibiotics alone saved many lives. Gloin was happy as the dwarrow in charge of the Treasury. Now that the gold was no longer cursed, they were slowly releasing the hoard back into circulation, not having much need for such a large stockpile.

Balin was Thorin's Chief Advisor, and took great delight in still being able to school him. He also helped Bec to open a school. At the moment, its students were grown dwarrow who had not been wealthy enough for private tutors. The two had great satisfaction in teaching everyone to read and write, and offered language classes as well. Dwalin was the Head of the Guard, and the royals unofficial bodyguard, not that he was really needed. He was happy though, as it gave him time to pursue his goal of learning as many different fighting styles and weapons as possible. Bec and Balin had plans of making him the fighting teacher for the incoming dwarflings.

Kili was happily teaching a whole troop of dwarrow archery; once they realised that they could wear a mask instead of shaving off their beards, they were lining up! He also completed his training as his uncle's apprentice, and could be found at the forges at all hours, trying out new design ideas. Fili was learning how to behave as a proper crown prince, so he could often be spotted ducking out on official duties for a breather. Bec didn't mind taking over for him in these moments, she knew it was just a shock to his system. He had never really been sure that they would take back Erebor after all. He had also finished his mastery, the new crowns were gorgeous, modelled on the flames of a forge. The only ones that were different were Bilbo and Bec's. Bilbo's crown was based on flowers and vines found in the Shire, Fili had spent weeks talking to Bilbo about the language of flowers the Shire used, and had incorporated this knowledge into the crown. Bec's was based on her grandmother's ring, made of mithril to keep the silver colour, with delicate filigree, and tiny diamonds, although Fili told her it was silver and quartz. The brothers were also taking time to get to know their father, although he was treated more like an older brother most of the time. The same went for Frerin, he and Vili were thick as thieves, and very impatiently waiting for Dis' arrival.

Thorin was finally happy again, being back in Erebor with Bilbo at his side. He was not as happy with all of the work that came with being king though, so he could often be found hiding with Fili, or catching up with Frerin and Vili. Bilbo was not quite as tolerant as Bec. He sighed and took over for Thorin for a couple of hours, but after that he would hunt him down and drag him back. Thranduil always found it amusing enough to make up for his few trips to the mountain. Bilbo meanwhile was working on revitalising the land around Erebor and Dale. Even though he knew they would never need to worry about plague or drought due to Bec's bags, he still wanted to take the pressure off her. With half a mountain full of helpers, the soil was nearly ready to be planted. Bec had kept back some of the veggies to take seed or root, so they would have some crops ready to plant, and the first ones had just gone into the ground the day before a raven arrived from Dis. The caravans were only a month away!

Bec had really found her calling between the school and cooking for Dori. She was also kept busy filling in for her husband, but she enjoyed staying busy. She didn't feel right trying to return to the sedentary lifestyle she enjoyed in her original world. When she did manage to get bored she transcribed books from her iPad and laptop, she had thousands on there. She also got some musicians to come in and help her transcribe the songs she had, although some were considered to be far too vulgar. They enjoyed the ballads, and some of her bouncier music. She always found it amusing when they didn't understand the slang and started singing quite raunchy songs. The warriors were great fans of her rock collection, particularly AC/DC after they found out that not only were they from the same country as their princess, but that it was the music that she used as a distraction in the battle. The blacksmiths liked hip-hop, while the scribes enjoyed the classical. Fili and the younger dwarrow all loved the swing and electro-swing music that she had, somehow managing to come very close to the swing dancing of her original world in the dances they created for it. She had decided to wait until the caravans had arrived to ask Mahal and Yavanna back, wanting as many people to be there as possible, so that word of the gifts would spread quickly. The day of the arrival seemed to come more quickly, the closer it got.

Bec jerked awake, hearing the door bounce off the wall of their chamber. That was the only warning they got before a disgustingly awake Frerin jumped on them, with Vili laughing from a safe distance in the doorway.

"Wake up! They're here today! Wake up, wake up wake up!"

Fili groaned, rolling over and nuzzling his giggling wife.

"If this is what children are like, I don't want any, khalthûna." He buried his nose in her hair.

Frerin actually whined at him. "Come on, nephew! You have to get ready, because if I remember correctly, not only did you and your brother not write to your amad and tell her you found your Ones, you also didn't tell her you got married!"

Fili paled, and fell out of bed, he was moving so quickly to get ready. Frerin collapsed in hysterical laughter, while Vili tried to calm his son.

"It's alright, Thorin is only going to introduce Bec and Bilbo as members of the company at first. Then he's going to have the meeting to introduce all of us that decided to stay, so your amad will be distracted. He and Bilbo have planned for a week for everyone to get used to everything before the royal weddings are announced, with the feasts to be held then, for the whole mountain. You can introduce your amad after we've calmed her down."

Fili started breathing slowly again, with Bec rubbing his back, looking very concerned.

"I told you to tell your amad months ago kundel, what happened?"

"Well, Kili convinced me it would be a wonderful surprise for amad, she was always worried about us never finding our Ones."

Bec and Vili sighed, _of course_ it was Kili. "Well, since it was Kili's idea, he can introduce Ori to your amad first.

Vili was very decisive when it came to punishments, which shocked the boys when it first happened, but they soon came to enjoy their special relationship with their adad. Fili honestly couldn't wait until they could give him a grandchild. Thus far, Bec was fairly irregular after coming off her birth control, so they had elected not to actively try for a child, leaving it up to Mahal and Yavanna.

Suddenly Kili dashed in half-dressed, an upset Ori behind him.

"Why did you let me convince you not to tell amad?!" He was nearly hyperventilating.

Vili had him calmed down quickly, and Ori got the giggles when he saw Kili's face as he was informed that he had to break the news to his mother first.

As a special treat, Bec made breakfast for the whole company, including Bombur, who was very nervous about seeing his wife and children again after so long. She made a huge feast, French toast; pancakes with several different toppings; scrambled, fried and poached eggs; lots of cut up fruit; omelettes; banana bread; breakfast casseroles; sausages; bacon; fried tomatoes and capsicum, as well as stuffed. It was a surprise that any of the company could move, let alone fit into their formal clothes after all that. Finally, they were assembled in the main courtyard, able to see the first caravan in the distance. Fili and Kili were both fidgeting, until Thorin smacked them upside the head.

"If you can't keep still, Dis will know something is wrong straight away."

Suddenly, the caravan was at the gates. A lone dwarrowdam was riding at the front. She looked exactly like Thorin and Frerin, even her hair started brown, and lightened to a golden blonde. Her beard was slightly longer than Thorin's, but braided back into her sideburns with many small gems. She was frowning as she pulled her pony to a stop, with the caravans continuing to pull in behind her.

Thorin stepped forward.

"Welcome Dis, and fellow dwarrow of Erebor. Welcome home!" A great cheer went up, from both the newcomers and the inhabitants.

"If you could make your way into the great hall, I have a wonderful announcement for you. Don't worry, some of the Iron Hill's dwarrow who chose to stay have volunteered to unpack your things and take them to the assigned housing. Please, follow us."

His speech finished, Thorin and the company led the way to the hall. Dis caught up with her brother and attempted to find out what was happening. Her resemblance to Kili was clear when she pouted at being denied.

"Dis, that look hasn't worked on me since you got married. You only have to wait 10 more minutes, and I guarantee you will be happy."

With that, he sped back up to catch the company. Once all the dwarrow were in the hall, Thorin stepped to the front of the stage.

"Once our quest was began, we were nearly stopped, by three monstrous trolls. By the wits of our burglar, we were saved. When he was outwitting the beasts, a figure fell from the sky, and led the trolls away. This figure was a Champion, sent to us by Mahal and Yavanna. She already knew of our quest, and what would happen, and he had charged her to prevent the deaths that were going to occur. If she had not come from her own world, leaving behind all she knew for the sake of a people she had never met, the Line of Durin would be broken, and myself and my sister-sons would be dead. In addition to killing the wyrm, and destroying the One Ring of Sauron, she also selflessly used boons granted to her by Mahal and Yavanna for our benefit. One means that even if there is a famine, we will never go hungry again. The other saw the return of those killed since Erebor fell. They came back to help us defeat the majority of the remaining orcs, goblins and trolls, and some chose to stay. Please know, the dwarrow that returned to Mahal's halls have watched over you, and didn't want to cause you any pain watching them die again, or in trying to fit into a life where there wasn't space for them. The ones who chose to stay are waiting in the antechamber for you, and many have messages from those who chose to return. I realise that this is a large shock to take in, so the next week will be used to come to terms with what has happened, and to re-connect with your loved ones."

Thorin stepped back, gesturing to the antechamber doors. Once the stampede started, he grabbed Dis, holding her back.

"Nadad, why do you stop me? Did they not want to stay?"

Before she could get too emotional, he turned his sister around, so she could see her husband and little brother approaching. With a happy cry, she ran to them, crying the whole time.

"Don't cry, ghivashel. Our Father's champion is a good woman, it is her you must thank. Go and say hello to your little brother, I think he is feeling left out."

Frerin was indeed pouting, but it quickly changed to a squeal when Dis picked him up and hugged him.

"Namaaaad!" He whined. "I know I'm still small, but I was still watching, mentally I'm only a couple of years younger than you!"

She laughed, before whirling to Thorin. "Where are my boys!"

A voice sounded from behind her. "Hi amad. We have some news for you?"

Dis turned around, quickly examining them for injuries. When she couldn't find any, she looked at their faces. Her attention was caught by Fili's rainbow moonstone bead, and shortly after, the brilliant turquoise one in Kili's hair.

"YOU GOT MARRIED!" The shriek coming from Dis made everyone cringe.

"Amad, we can explain…we met our Ones.."

Fili and Kili trailed off, yelping when Dis grabbed their ears.

"Boyos, you had better know how lucky you are that you got married to your Ones, or I would end you here and now! Who's idea was it not to tell me?"

Fili pointed to a struggling Kili. Dis was diverted from her war path by a feminine laugh.

"Well, now I know how to make Fili behave, thank you." She turned around and saw a lovely young woman, clearly not a dwarrowdam, and a young dwarrow dressed in scribe's garb.

"I assume you are my new son and daughter-in-law?" Her eyebrow arched.

"Ori, son of Kori; Head Librarian of Erebor." Ori bowed.

"Rebecca, daughter of Dwalin; Champion of Mahal, Head Teacher, and part-time baker." Bec attempted a curtsy, but failed, and laughed.

Dis looked them over consideringly.

"Both of you are coming to dinner tonight, I need to learn more about both of you. Your husbands and mine can have dinner with my no-good brothers."

Fili and Kili, realising the unholy alliance that was about to be born, protested loudly. They subsided when their mother glared at them.

"You brought this on yourselves. Now go and help your father and uncles bring my things up, while I get to know my new son and daughter better."


	16. The End of the Beginning

Chapter 15 – The End of the Beginning

Once the week was up, Thorin gathered the whole mountain together again. Everyone was done up in their finest clothes and jewels, the light glinting off thousands of beads.

"Khazad of Erebor, I have wondrous news. Your royal family has finally found their soulmates. Our youngst Prince, Kili son of Dis is married to Ori son of Kori. Our Crown Prince, Fili son of Dis is married to the champion of Mahal, Rebecca daughter of Dwalin. Finally, I myself am married, finally, to my own Bilbo Baggins of the Shire. We have waited for your return to celebrate this most joyous occasion!"

The roar from the dwarrow was deafening, echoing in the rocky chamber for minutes afterwards. Thorin stepped forward to continue.

"Although it saddens us that you could not be present for our marriage ceremonies, we waited to have our marriage feast. All of Erebor is to take the next three days to make merry." There was another cheer of approval.

"First however, our champion, and Crown Princess would like to address you. Will you permit her?"

As this was the last piece to confirm her as Crown Princess; the approval of the people, it was crucial they agree. Bilbo already had their love, but Bec wanted to earn it on her own.

Once again the cry was deafening, this time with boot stomping and clapping added to the mix. Bec stepped forward, swallowing against a suddenly dry mouth.

"Dwarrow of Erebor! You are not my original people, although I love you like my own. To show my esteem for your people, I wish to give you something. I wish to give you two gifts." There was a hush over the crowd now, with Fili frowning in the background, as Bec bowed her head, and started muttering. Gasps were heard throughout when a dwarrow sized Mahal and Yavanna appeared on the stage next to her.

"We have heard your call, my champion. Why have you called on us?" Mahal was suitably pompous, but Bec could see he was fighting a grin. She knew that her two requests would have him shocked.

"Great Father, Kind Mother; I have asked you here to grant my two remaining boons, if it pleases you to do so." Bec bowed, and waited for a sign of approval.

Yavanna moved forward, and raised her from her bow.

"Speak child, and let your wishes be known."

Bec heaved a sigh, gearing up for the shock that was oncoming.

"Father Mahal, when we met, you expressed much regret and sadness at not being able to give your children greater fertility. Can you use my boon to grant all dwarrow the ability to carve a child from the stone and give it life, once every 30 years?"

A wave of shock was felt around the hall, and many dwarrow were crying silently. Mahal also had tears running down his beard. He looked at Yavanna, who disappeared with a nod of her head. He drew Bec into a big hug, squeezing her tightly while repeating praises and thankyous. When Yavanna returned, she had a gigantic smile splitting her face. Mahal saw her, and wept, hugging Bec until she started to wheeze.

"Not that durable, Mahal! Still need to breathe!"

He let her go with a bellow of laughter.

"Eru has agreed, since he gave a similar gift to hobbits. In addition, for his oversight in the matter he has agreed that every dwarrow that wishes to have children can have their first three within 15 years, in order to raise your population to where it should have been. I thank you, on behalf of my children. Rebecca, daughter of Mahal!"

The last was taken as a cheer, and the echoes of 'daughter of Mahal' stayed for many minutes after they had finished. When Mahal appeared to be too emotional to continue, Yavanna took over.

"What is your second wish, child?"

Bec smiled, her second was in a similar vein to the first.

"In my original world, I was human, with a lifespan of 100 years, if I was very lucky."

The entire gathering gasped in shock, while Fili went white with fear. Bec ignored them, and continued.

"When you and Mahal made me shorter and more durable, you also granted me the lifespan of a dwarrow. Can you promise to do the same for all dwarrow who have soulmates of a different race? There is too much heartache caused by the disparity in life spans on Middle Earth, and many dwarrow end up craft-wed rather than spend the few years they have with their soulmate truly happy."

Fili had calmed down, but come forward and hugged her, causing coos from the family. Yavanna smiled gently.

"I had a feeling about you, Rebecca, so Eru himself has granted that boon already, as thanks for the services you have rendered to Middle Earth as a whole. Is there any other boon you would ask?"

Bec peeked at Fili behind her, knowing this news would probably make him faint.

"I have only one other thing I need." Yavanna nodded, smiling knowingly.

"Will you bless the children I carry, to have good fortune and friends, for as long as they live?"

At first there was silence, but once the words registered, the hall went wild. Not only would there be a royal heir, but their Crown Princess was a blessing beyond all belief, actually carrying two babies! Vili and Dis were crying, looking on proudly, while the rest of the company smiled. Kili had actually lost control of his mouth, his jaw dropped until Ori noticed and closed it. Fili was stunned speechless. At Yavanna's nod of consent, the two Valar whispered a blessing over the pair, as well as one over the whole mountain and then disappeared.

Fili turned his wife around, looking at her face.

"You are pregnant, khalthûna? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Bec blushed.

"I only had it confirmed by Oin yesterday, and Yavanna visited me in my dreams, telling me of the two strong daughters I would be birthing in nine months. She also said that we would have at least seven all together, more if we choose to have some stone-born as well. At least 3 will be sons, so you should probably start thinking of names, kundel."

It was the news of how many children they would be having that did Fili in. He copied Bilbo, complete with the 'Nope', and fainted on the spot. Bec collapsed in giggles, especially when the scene repeated itself after the company demanded she tell them why he had fainted. The only ones who didn't were Bilbo and Dis, who helped her dismiss the citizens to their partying, and then walked back up to their chambers to begin discussing names and nursery designs. The males didn't wake for several hours, and then collectively hovered over Bec until she threatened to stop feeding them.

As night fell Bec stood on the balcony, watching the night sky. She heard Fili just before he slipped his arms around her waist, and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"What has you thinking so hard, darling one?"

She looked at him, kissing his cheek.

"Just thanking Eru, Mahal and Yavanna for choosing me. I'm finally happy, and you are a large part of that. Even these girls are half you. I'm glad for my original life, it made me who I am, but I feel like this is where I belong, like I was always meant to find my way to you. I just hope that everything worked out alright in my original world. I was praying that everyone, in all worlds, will one day find the same peace and happiness that I have."

Fili squeezed her gently. "I don't know what great deed I performed in a past life to deserve you, khalthûna, but I will thank the Valar every day for you, and our children." He turned her around and kissed her gently.

"Now, come to bed. I wish to practice some more from that fascinating book you showed me."

With a giggle, he lifted her off her feet and carried her inside, where laughter drifted out into the night, a sign of the happy years to come.

A/N: Contrary to the title, this is the end of this fic. I have no plans to keep writing Bec and Fili. I believe that with Sauron gone completely, nearly all of the evil and malice will be gone with him, and it is the dawn of the peaceful age. There are no more enemies to fight or plots to worry about.

I will probably write more, I seem to have gotten the bug for it again, but I can't guarantee that it will be in this fandom. The only reason I started writing this fic was because of the scene in the BotFA, where Bec is riding her bike, AC/DC blasting and the staff killing anyone in her way, Ori behind her doing the same to the other side.

I really hope you guys enjoyed this, I couldn't write for the longest time, ever since I met my now ex-husband to be precise, and it feels like a huge weight that I didn't know I had was gone. I want to say thank you to every single person who reviewed, commented, liked, followed and favourited this story, your support means the world. I hope to have something new soon.


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